Read Carnival.
Read Metal Machine Fanfic.
Think 1 000 000 monkeys.
Think 1 000 000 years.

Apart from a work of Oscar Wilde they'll produce endless volumes of these things.

Daria fandom might have a bunch of Planet of the Apes-type monkeys, but as long as there are people like &emdash; no names, no credentials &emdash; in the "community" I look forward to a time when the Lawndale Leftovers featured stories is the largest archieve of Daria fanfic.

The goat entrails I've been reading state that not only are the British Special Forces trained for this sort of thing, their leadership knows how to use them properly, and they are raring to go. As opposed to our leadership, which attempts to use our special forces as talent in a prime-time TV show, gets them all shot to hell by using them in an inappropriate manner, and then lies about it, IMHO, when the forces guys themselves quite rightly blab to Sidney Hersh about it. Whatever gets this done, apart from wholesale slaughter of innocents, I'm all for it.

Um

So in other words they found a copy of Clancy's Sum of All Fears? I just hope those boys account for the tritium in their bomb material.

-sam, so skeptical he makes Scully look like a believer... no, wait, she is now, damn.

How could he tell? It seems to me that airline tickets are priced randomly. Probably using a system involving Bingo tiles and blindfolded chipmunks. --- Dennis

Check. [The Bill of Rights is part of] the Constitution. It's the first ten amendments to the Constitution, to be exact. Currently to be found on rollers in the bathroom stalls of the headquarters of numerous federal agencies. --- Crossada75

Actually, I use 5.0 'cause I didn't much like 6.0, and, besides that, think my sporadic computer troubles started around the time I put 6.0 on my computer.

The inevitable 7.0 disk arrived this morning inside my copy of Time. Now, do I put it to use? Anybody here tried it out yet? Is it any good? Got any rants against any of the "point ohs," or just AOL in general?

What do you guys think?

I think that the disc's new smoother surface has greatly improved accuracy and distance.

And you thought you had a cool fort when you were a kid... take a peek at Osama bin Laden's bolthole.

But cleaning up's gotta be a pain in the neck. And don't even get me started on what it must cost to heat up the place.

What is it with insane power mad megalomaniacs and secret mountain hideaways? Osama must have seen a few too many James Bond movies.

"It is roomier than your last hide-out, Osama, although we have yet to fully explore these caverns. Nonetheless, the imperialist dogs will not find you here."

"It will do, Omar, but it needs some light. Say, what's this fuzzy lump over here?"

"Why you poke Taz in the dark, dark cave?"

1. Hire me!

2. When you hire me, don't end up like David E. Kelley or Aaron Sorkin and write all of the episodes yourself. That makes other writers feel worthless enough to crawl under moving harvesting machines...

3. Hire me! (As Kryten said on 'Red Dwarf', Yes, I know it's technically one thing, but I thought it important enough to be mentioned twice'.)

Martin, as a "Mad Dictator" - er, "Benevolent Supreme Potentate and Protector of the Faithful", you must have need of those who can define and enact upon the masses that which are your wishes and desires. As a former television producer and public relations liasion, I believe I can be of some small assistance. I will bring your words to the people, as your Minister of Propaganda.

(lights darken about Brother Grimace - or did he just step in front of the Sun?) I am Brother Grimace - and I shall help you bring the unfaithful to heel!

(manical laughter, fade out)

... so of course Helen's the oldest. Don't see how I could ever possibly've missed that one :>

---wyvern