(Posted by SUSU on September 26, 2001, 18:29:03 , in reply to "What's the big problem?")

Read Carnival.
Read Metal Machine Fanfic.
Think 1 000 000 monkeys.
Think 1 000 000 years.

Apart from a work of Oscar Wilde they'll produce endless volumes of these things.

Daria fandom might have a bunch of Planet of the Apes-type monkeys, but as long as there are people like &emdash; no names, no credentials &emdash; in the "community" I look forward to a time when the Lawndale Leftovers featured stories is the largest archieve of Daria fanfic.

Wraith: Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?
duh... five?
Caira: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Canadibrit: Is that good "Ooh", bad "Ooh" or scared "Ooh"?
Caira: Both.
My dear R.B., I have no ill feelings toward you whatsoever. If I hadn't wanted my opinions made public, I would have posted them on MTV's message board. No-one ever reads that. Besides, a nice guy needs to shake up his image now and then.
- "Evil Mhike" Yamiolkoski
Okay, now that I'm conscious enough to respond properly to this...
At least you're not replying unconsciously, like many TOMB regulars.
For the love of God, I hope no one gets it into their head to write a Daria/He-man crossover. I don't care how funny a confrontation between Teela and the Fashion Club would be.

Just imagine this scene:

Kevin, standing with magical sword raised at the gates of GraySkull...

"I... AM... THE QB!!!"

Mike Yamiolkoski
First off, Kara's right, we don't want another Star Trek. The majority of the Daria fandom are antisocial buggers who don't play well with others.

Nah, we certainly don't need five hundred people dressing up like Angela Li. That would undoubtedly bring on Apocalypse. However, I don't think it would hurt to borrow some of the better stuff from Trek fandom... assuming anyone figures out what that good stuff is.

We might even be able to establish a sort of land base for ourselves [in Afghanistan]. I hear the Brits want to do that, and I think they are right.

The goat entrails I've been reading state that not only are the British Special Forces trained for this sort of thing, their leadership knows how to use them properly, and they are raring to go. As opposed to our leadership, which attempts to use our special forces as talent in a prime-time TV show, gets them all shot to hell by using them in an inappropriate manner, and then lies about it, IMHO, when the forces guys themselves quite rightly blab to Sidney Hersh about it. Whatever gets this done, apart from wholesale slaughter of innocents, I'm all for it.


Sometimes, hopeless fights can be a blast, since you have nothing to lose, anyway. Mr. NomadX, I'm sure you're aware that one of my favorite activities is Stirring Shit Up™. MTV made my life miserable for five years... I'd love to return the favor, on some level.
"The Times discovered the partly burnt documents in a hastily abandoned safe house in the Karta Parwan quarter of the city. Written in Arabic, German, Urdu and English, the notes give detailed designs for missiles, bombs and nuclear weapons. There are descriptions of how the detonation of TNT compresses plutonium into a critical mass, sparking a chain reaction, and ultimately a thermonuclear reaction."

So in other words they found a copy of Clancy's Sum of All Fears? I just hope those boys account for the tritium in their bomb material.

-sam, so skeptical he makes Scully look like a believer... no, wait, she is now, damn.

I was born, and things pretty much went downhill from there. I live in South Australia (that's the name of the state --- imaginitive people back then, eh?), a dreadful habit I picked up many years before and haven't been able to shake off since. DW Death
I am deeply, deeply hurt. No one's chosen "A Very Amy Christmas"? Do you think it was easy writing scenes where Amy does battle with a marshmallow man? ... In a way that did not immediately call to mind "Ghostbusters"? I suffered for that work, people!
Kara Wild

We all suffer for our work. It just shouldn't show in the work.
Robert Nowall

So did we all, m'dear. So did we all.

On the NPR business program (which sort of functions as that network's Firing Line) this evening, some supply-sider was whining about how airline tickets will cost more to pay for all this [excess security measures].

How could he tell? It seems to me that airline tickets are priced randomly. Probably using a system involving Bingo tiles and blindfolded chipmunks. --- Dennis

Check. [The Bill of Rights is part of] the Constitution. It's the first ten amendments to the Constitution, to be exact. Currently to be found on rollers in the bathroom stalls of the headquarters of numerous federal agencies. --- Crossada75

Geraldo Rivera's got a gun and he's running loose around Afghanistan and Pakistan... [thus] solving a problem and getting rid of a long-standing public nuisance...

-- Robert Nowall

Don't be so paranoid! The next thing you'll be on about is that the <deleted by censor> will <deleted by censor> and that's just a <transmission terminated by censor> ...whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of 5.0 and 6.0, or to take arms against AOL for even bringing the damned thing out...

Actually, I use 5.0 'cause I didn't much like 6.0, and, besides that, think my sporadic computer troubles started around the time I put 6.0 on my computer.

The inevitable 7.0 disk arrived this morning inside my copy of Time. Now, do I put it to use? Anybody here tried it out yet? Is it any good? Got any rants against any of the "point ohs," or just AOL in general?

What do you guys think?

I think that the disc's new smoother surface has greatly improved accuracy and distance.

Insert daisy-cutter here...

And you thought you had a cool fort when you were a kid... take a peek at Osama bin Laden's bolthole.

But cleaning up's gotta be a pain in the neck. And don't even get me started on what it must cost to heat up the place.

What is it with insane power mad megalomaniacs and secret mountain hideaways? Osama must have seen a few too many James Bond movies.

"It is roomier than your last hide-out, Osama, although we have yet to fully explore these caverns. Nonetheless, the imperialist dogs will not find you here."

"It will do, Omar, but it needs some light. Say, what's this fuzzy lump over here?"

"Why you poke Taz in the dark, dark cave?"

Just remember, Kara -- when you develop your own one-hour dramatic series for NBC a few years down the line, three things:

1. Hire me!

2. When you hire me, don't end up like David E. Kelley or Aaron Sorkin and write all of the episodes yourself. That makes other writers feel worthless enough to crawl under moving harvesting machines...

3. Hire me! (As Kryten said on 'Red Dwarf', Yes, I know it's technically one thing, but I thought it important enough to be mentioned twice'.)

Brother Grimace
Northern Idaho, eh? Hmmmm... this Mad Dictator thing is supposed to come with perks, like access to hired assassins... t'would be a shame to not take advantage of such a valuable resource, wouldn't it? <evil laughter>

Martin, as a "Mad Dictator" - er, "Benevolent Supreme Potentate and Protector of the Faithful", you must have need of those who can define and enact upon the masses that which are your wishes and desires. As a former television producer and public relations liasion, I believe I can be of some small assistance. I will bring your words to the people, as your Minister of Propaganda.

(lights darken about Brother Grimace - or did he just step in front of the Sun?) I am Brother Grimace - and I shall help you bring the unfaithful to heel!

(manical laughter, fade out)

D'ur, forgot Simon and Garfunkel, I can see a young Daria hearing "I Am A Rock" and taking notes.
Hmmm... lessee... Rita's drawn to look oldest (or, as's been pointed out, maybe just dissipated), her daughter's half-a-decade older than Helen's eldest, and the Barksdale Sisterly Dynamic has Helen acting like, basically, a stereotypical overcompensating "Mommy always liked you best and never even noticed me no matter how hard I tried" mittelkind...

... so of course Helen's the oldest. Don't see how I could ever possibly've missed that one :>


Back when I returned from my honeymoon, I got a message from Sarah congratulating us and also asking if we had a goth-style wedding. I explained that I would never settle for anything quite so tame and I told her about the wedding we did have, but I always felt that the question came out of the blue. I never mentioned doing any goth stuff in any of my e-mails, my fics didn't have any overt gothic themes, and the strange activities I get up to aren't particularly goth-oriented. At the time I figured she was just a kid into the goth scene, and she figured that anyone having an interesting wedding would naturally go for a gothic theme, because I couldn't figure out anything about me that would make her assume I'm into the goth scene.

Then this morning I thought, gee, maybe my name?


GQ: Hello. I'm Aradia, and I'm a duck-fetishist.
Group: Hello Aradia!
D: Screw all this, where's a gun!?
L: Desanera! We promised that we'd support our little Goblin Queen.
D: Not at the cost of our immortal souls!
L: Ahh, it's a free meeting.
D: That's NOT what I meant, and YOU KNOW IT.
Tafka: Hey, Aradia started yet?
L: I think Desanera's putting them off.
D: Am not.
T: Then... why is that guy over there sitting in a puddle of his own urine?
L: That's Larry - He likes self-inflicted Golde...
GQ/D/T: Ack! LEW!
GQ: Ickickickick!
L: Ask me and I'll tell you no lies.
GQ/D/T: T.M.I!!!!
L: Fine then.
Group Leader: Well, Since you're so vocal, Lew, would you care to start by describing your..."issues".
GQ/D/T: (Hidiously evil laughter.)
Lew: I have a gun. And I will use it.
GQ/D/T: (Stop laughing.)
L: Bugger this. Aradia, keep the duck. Tafka, get the nibbles while Desanera and I steal the Coffee Urn. (Pulls a gun.) And if anyone, and I MEAN, anyone, get's in my way...I'll feed you to Tafka.
T: Oh, thanks. Like I'm going to enjoy THAT.
L: It was the nastiest thing I could think up on short notice!
T: Give me that. (Takes gun.) Right. If any of you perverts so much as looks a me the wrong way, I'm going to castrate you, right here, with this gun. Got it?
D: Lew, get the other side, this thing is heavy.
L: It's not empty, is it?
D: What's the use of no boiling-hot water...oh..
(Fade with screams of the group.)

Lew - Too much imagination is not a good thing.

Ben: If you were a patron saint, what would you be a patron saint of?
tafka: latex
tafka: tafka, lady latex, patron saint of latex artwork
tafka: lol
Mel: ummm.. I would be the patron saint of slacking off
(Caira immediately starts worshipping Mel)
tafka: cool
(Geoff snickers)
tafka: i can't believe i brought up latex and nobody said ANYTHING
Geoff: We don't NEED to say anything.
Caira: more like NoRealMusic@mtv.com
Tawny Puma: Not since around, what? 1987 or so?
Caira: TP: there was no real music in 1987.

Posted by TAFKA on Dec-31-1969 8:00pm

I am not now, nor have I ever been anti-pagan. It kind of defeats the purpose, what with me being a wiccan and all.

There's nothing more to see here!
*** Signoff: Lew (Quit: This little piggy lived a life of pain, and THIS little piggy begged for release, and THIS little piggy's death only made the world a better place...)