Lawndale Stalker: Can't we all just (pretend we) get along? Besides, I'd be disappointed if TLAS doesn't have a giant inflatable pig in an upcoming episode.
tafka waits for life to come and smack her in the head... it usually does...
Caira: tafka: what, and ruin the surprise? :]
tafka: heh
tafka: life is a bitch i insulted when i was god

Uhm, was?

New topic:

"Hey, have you seen that show, Daria? I hear it's pretty good."


Also, to everyone out there, with a clichéd story, terrible characterization, weird crossover ideas and using that bizarro script format: Good on ya! It all starts somewhere!
Bunny =:-)
I object to this. The script format is not "bizarro".
If Jenna Bush gets popped for under-age alcohol consumption one more time, under Texas law (which her pappy rammed through the legislature, I'm told) she'll be a three time offender. That will net her (supposedly) mandatory jail time. My question is this: what cells will her Secret service agents occupy? Hers? The ones on either side? Quite the conundrum for the wee lassie...
I always thought that CB could have done much better than [the Bootlace Threat]. I mean, let's face it. By the time you've taken out enough of someone's intestines to use as a bootlace, they're dead.
However, if you used bootlaces, I'm thinking particularly of USAF paratrooper boot laces, to saw open someone's stomach... For the first couple of hours, your victim would be laughing at you, as is the case with Chinese water torture. However, after about 12 to 24 hours, as is also the case with Chinese water torture, he'd stop laughing. Imagine how much sawing it'd take.
There's always strangling someone with boot laces, which has its own virtues. It's not as quick as it sounds.
Hey, I'm just trying to help. Thanks for reminding me, everyone.
-KnightHawke, [full-time government employee, part-time sadist, each providing essential job skills for the other]...
*Mel listens to Bryan Adams - Summer of '69
*tafka smacks Mel
tafka: bryan adams?
tafka: why'd you dig that corpse up?
Mel: ouch! hey.
*Lew WILL hunt Mel down.
_Jenn: no Lew won't
iObject: ooooh, Health Inspectors raided a high school cafeteria in Scotland,
Caira: iO: only one?
iObject: they were serving the kids testicles and pancreas among other things
_Jenn: yummy
Crazy Nutso: don't they always?  (they're called hotdogs)
_Jenn: Who DOESN'T like testicles and pancreas?
iObject: please Jenn, your sex life is your business and your business alone
_Jenn: Only you would connect the eating of pancreas to sex, iObject
Crazy Nutso: iO:  be nice, you can be  kicked by the halos now...
Crazy Nutso: in any case, what do you think hamburger and hotdogs are made out of, anyhow?
iObject: I don't eat hotdogs, and I grind my own hamburger meat so I have a pretty good idea what is inside
Caira: CN: Why would I do that? This is Quotefest gold... ;o)
Crazy Nutso: Cai:  some halos have a low tolerance for 'lewd' behavior...:>}
Caira: CN: Yeah, yeah... (goes back to polishing his jackboots)
Chad: CN:  Depends on if it's fun or scary lewd for this one... and how late it is :)
Crazy Nutso: well, I just worry about Jenn's feelings...
<RuthlessBunny> I like frat guys, they are harmless and will help you unload your car into your dorm room.
<Lew> Hint: Wear a tight top
<Ben> Sometimes, they'll even MOVE your car into your dorm room.
<Canadibrit> How does one kill spammers?
<Lew> Of course, that doesn't work too well if you're a guy
<Orca> Hey, one of my best friends is a frat guy :p
<Geoff> CB: If you find out, tell me. 
<RuthlessBunny> Sigma Nu!
<traP> CB: As slowly and as painfully as possible. 
<RuthlessBunny> Chi Omega!
<Lew> Unless it's a REALLY weird frat...
HUZZAH! The Paperpusher General Forum is now YOUR source for BUSH DAUGHTERS news!

YES! LEARN what they had for breakfast yesterday!

TITILLATING FACTS! (They're both on birth control!)

PROOF of their atrocities! (They drive big, gas-guzzling SUVs! No doubt to help their father's Big Oil Interests TAKE OVER the gov'mt!)

YES! All you (don't) want to know about the Bush daughters WILL be reported RIGHT HERE as soon as it appears in some semi-reputable (or unreputable, for that matter) 'news' source!

We'll show those nasty Republicans that Democrats can be JUST as petty as them!

Crazy "Joining the Libertarian Party" Nutso

WELCOME! :) Do you see the light, Crazy? Do you see the light?
BTW - can you do backflips?

(I always thought only major-party pollies made a virtue of backflipping...)

Caira: hey all...
J: heya
J: when did you become an op?
Chad: about 2-3 weeks ago
J: and due to the fact that he's an unholy queen, should I be worried? =-)
Caira: J: No, just play nice, and I won't make you polish my jackboots... *smirk*
J: I'd rather commit self-immolation, but ok =-)
Respect my authoritah!
I know that's how Hollywood would do [a sequel]... THRILL as everything that happened in the first story happens AGAIN, but louder, heavier and with better special effects! WOO-HOO!

Crazy Nutso

I believe that I have a permanent crease on my cheek from laying my head on a nice cool gutter during a bit of a birthday binge on Castro Street in the Eighties. At any rate, leave the poor girl alone. If she truly has a dependency problem, I hope her parents identify it and help her get the help she needs. If she's just a party girl, like yours truly, then I say: Stand proudly upon the speaker, honey, and for goodness sake, call a cab!

Bunny =:-)

Sirinial ( ff.n Signed Review )
(sighs) First same-sex crushes stink. They seriously do. This goes on the favourites list! *click!*
As for sex, my impression is that it is only objected to around here when it involves consent. -- crossada75 *** Lew has set the topic on channel #Daria+ to "If you could get a time machine, travel back to the early 1980's and bring some junk, what would you do, who would you kill and how much FUN would it be?"
Canadibrit hits CN over the head with ... her copy of "The Lord Of The Rings"
Caira lends CB War & Peace
tafka can't wait for you all to see what she calls artwork
Canadibrit pulls out the crossbow - "No thanks, Caira..."

 The #Daria+ Literary Appreciation Society...

Lew has been ordered to gross you guys out while Tafka recharges.
Lew: #1: Bill Gates, shotgun?
Frigeon: HE'S MINE! You can have him after he can't remember where he lives.
Lew: #2: N'Sync, Backstreet and the rest... #2a: Janet Jackson, encourage her to be a lawyer as her music career is not going to take off.

Note to self: Visit mum in June... New York is a bit too close to Pittsburgh...

Crazy "Run away! Run Away!" Nutso

Crazy, you don't run from an Unholy Queen...

We LIKE moving targets....

Meh, heh, heh...

Lew - If I could care, you'd not like to see the consequences.

I post a simple "Hello, I'm back in your face again" message, and end up paving the way for a theological and philosophical debate worthy of my mother (more on that some other time). I don't know whether I'm lucky or just really, really good...
--The "doesn't like theological debates, but can't resist a good argument" Blue Cynic
Caira: I'd kill Stevie Wonder. Bill Gates. Huey Lewis. Britney Spears' mom. Whoever founded Yahoo. Whoever came up with the idea for NKOTB, sparing us all the subsequent boygroups.
um_er_uh: Stevie Wonder? Ah, ya gotta forgive him. He just needed the money.
Lew: #3: Cai beat me. New Kids. Nuff Said.
Caira: um: I'm sorry, but the idea of I Just Called To Say I Bored You To Death being #1 on my birth (Oct '84) just does not bear thinking about.
tafka: i'd grab as many pairs of size 5 docs as i could and a wheelbarrow full of laces and i'd prolly go hang about with some funky arts-types for a bit and scare the punks
Lew: #4: Kick-start grunge.
Centipede: to hell with grunge
Lew: #5: Encourage Kurt to take some "basic firearm safety" training courses.
Centipede: I'm so fckin tired of all those nasty characters
um_er_uh: Anybody want to buy a couple flannel shirts?
tafka slaps Centipede_6 around a bit with a large trout
Frigeon: as for kurt and guns, why not simply not let him start taking those frickin drugs
Centipede: Courtney Love is the GODDESS of grunge and she deserves to be because she's prettier
Lew: Uhhh, nope. She married the departed starter of grunge and has been lunching off it ever since.
um_er_uh: I wanna get Courtney Love high on E and... oh, yeah.
This color scheme was designed to hurt your eyes. Hope it succeeds. Unfortunately, I don't see any way to shut off the censorbot, so you f_ucks and c_unts will have to be creative.
The Blue Balls
The perils of running a message board...
I like [the Daria/Trent] pairing primarily because I like to root for the underdog and if you can find a better underdog than Trent on the show then good luck.
_Jenn: I'd beat Madonna at being Madonna
Lew: YEASSS! Goood one _Jenn!
um_er_uh: Jenn: Where do I get a ticket for that?
_Jenn: um: your local box office
Caira: Oh, wait -- [kill] Fred Durst's Dad.
Lew: YES! Cai has a positive hit!
Frigeon: I'd kill anything that got wrestling started
Reese_Kaine: You would kill Abe Lincoln?
Lew: Nope. I'd shave him.
Ben: o/~ oh, life, it's bigger... it's bigger than you and you are not me... o/~
Caira: Ben: Oh yeah! Early REM gigs!
preet feels a need to say that high school guys suck

Ben: Mean people suck.

preet: Nice people swallow.

Clinton is an incredibly adept pol that brooked no opposition in his ranks. He pulled the rug out from under the Barons of his own party and handed the Senate over to the largely ineffectual Republicans, who he then blamed everything on. He is the Mozart of politicians. If we could just drop Clinton over there with a billion dollars, he'd be Emperor of the whole region inside of a year anyway. He'd make a fabulous CIA director. Too bad Clinton never seriously tried dealing with the bin Laden problem. He's Machiavellian enough to turn them all against each other and make it all go away by telephone.
Nemo Blank
Cool, so you do have something nice to say about the guy. ;)
So, if Clinton's Mozart, I gather that makes Reagan J.S. Bach, and the Shrub... hmmmm... Lieber & Stoller, maybe? Nah, they'd be his puppeteers...
Canadibrit: I'm so disappointed! I mean, that guy's sandwich board said "The End Is Nigh"! They promised!
_Jenn: I'd kill the Olsen twins.
Lew: #5: Encourage the Branch Dividians to REALLY stock up on fire extinguishers...
Centipede: the early '80s were so cool for music...
um_er_uh: Yeah, the 70s. You lot born in the 80s don't have any right to whine. Um, born 1965.
Lew: #7: WHAM. Do I have to elaborate? #7a: George Michael. Out him and watch him being torn limb-from-limb by enraged fans... #7b: Duran, Duran. Hmmmmm....
tafka: i'd grab a couple of hundred crates of coke... those glass bottles would be worth a mint now
Caira: Hmmm... Gently suggest to Joe Strummer not to bother with that sixth Clash album. Kill any record exec who didn't like "Prehistoric Sounds" by the Saints.
<aradia> i did, i just emailed [tafka]

<Ben> goodgood

<tafka> yes yes

<tafka> is very very very happy now......

<tafka> i got duckmail

Ben: if you want to quit and set the message for that quit when you quit, you just type /quit

(Say no more.)

I generally avoid plot issues by not having a plot. Good job.

Bunny's Fanfic Reviews
_Jenn: I'd design less scary puppets for Genesis
Lew: Jenn? SCARY??? Lew can't BELIEVE...
_Jenn: yes, they completely freak me OUT! They're like CLOWNS...
Lew: Sorry Jenn... but, man, that's weird.
_Jenn: Lew: Duh, as am I
Frigeon: I'd steal the Devo hats
tafka: one thing to say: RHPS in the theatre in 'costume'
Caira: Kill Peter Gabriel so Lew couldn't tell me at ODC that the fact he outsold Bowie back in the day was a good thing. Last I checked, Miss Spears outsold PJ Harvey...
_Jenn: I'd feed Britney Spears tons of hostess cupcakes and make her become fat
um_er_uh: Mmmm... fat britney...
<tafka> making a baby: get tin, get blender. pour in genetic code. blend until mushy. pour into tin and bake for 9 months or until well risen
Although I HAVE learned to add a smile to indicate that I'm pleasantly joshing and can't be held accountable for my own hypocrisy. :-)
Lew - Tafka still licks her Doc box clean... it's this weird sort of nurturing thing... that and the smell.
What the hell makes GI Joe distinctly superior to Daria??
Kara Wild

The PSA's at the end of every episode? :)
-sam, "...and knowing is half the battle."

Unfortunately, the other half of the battle is a bloody war of attrition in the jungles of Southeast Asia.

Lew: #8: Guns 'N' Roses. I'd enact Cannibal Corpse's song title range on them
Centipede: GNR was so boring. All those metal groups are BORING.
Caira: Cent: Hence the grunge.
Frigeon: no one has said bring $5000 to invest in Microsoft stock as it came out
Caira: Fr: Some of us have morals.
Lew: And some of us... do not.
Frigeon: i didn't say kill him, i said beat him senseless
Caira: Fr: No, WE [said kill him]. ;o) Point taken.
_Jenn: I'd beat Gore to inventing the internet :-p
Hmmmmm... I am reminded of a line from "Fight Club." "How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?" I've been in fights. And I know exactly jack squat about myself as a result. Hell, I didn't even learn how to fight, because most REAL fights are over long before anyone can display any real technique.


What the hell makes GI Joe distinctly superior to Daria??
Kara Wild

Why, his Kung Fu Grip, of course :>

Plus there's the whole "Real American Hero" business, does Daria pack enough firepower to level cities? I don't think so. :)

Caira: Off Eminem's dad.
Caira: Hell, off every rapper after Grandmaster Flash.
Lew: Off Eninem's everything. Family... pets... neighbours...
Reese_Kaine would let Eminem live, since he scares people away from rap music, thereby doing a public service.
Caira: RK: Hence offing EVERY rapper. ;o)
_Jenn dances like MC Hammer... I want some Hammer pants!
Caira: Right. About that time machine -- go back, torture MC Hammer, sample his screaming and see if that can make a hit.
Lew: #9: The tragic and MESSY death of M.C. Hammer.
Lew: The only reason WHY he (MC) wore those was so that the nappy wouldn't be so visible.
Canadibrit: Oh, hell, I have tits.
Ben: This is news?
dariajane: *loud blink*
jewli: have they been hiding from you all these years?
Canadibrit: Jenn's dressing me in baby Ts.
[This year's first-year uni students] have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and probably do not know he had ever been shot.

Does Reagan even know that he was shot anymore?

Don't take it so hard, Guy. I'm the fellow who, after getting jostled off the sidewalk for the 1,000th time, proposed the "Handguns for France" campaign. See, I figure the reason they're such rude, arrogant creeps is that they don't have enough guns in circulation.

<DeMartino> Nothing like the fear of hot LEAD pumping into your CHEST to inspire a little COURTESY and RESPECT!! </DeMartino>

But the cheese is excellent...


[The lyrics to "La Marseillaise" cut]

Wow. That makes "The Star Spangled Banner" look like the Barney song. Never mind.


Naaaah! I'm getting full of it anyways. Sure, my heart goes out to those who perished and their families and my respect to the heroes. BUT this whole flag-waving B. S. makes me want to bomb the nearest flag factory.

You'll need to pack a bag... they're all in China.
Guess what... irony's back, and bigger than ever!

With all of this in the background, I'd write up a seriously dark comedy that's anti-patriotic and anti-religion.

See ya in detention. I'll bring you oranges.

Rusty_Knight performs open heart surgery on the lull monster with a plastic spork
PAGE 5 Thank you, Cincgreen. That must have taken a lot out of you. I applaud your admitting to emotions.
Keep up the good work :)
-- NomadX
I don't mind! Seriously! Go and screw your spud if you want to!