The Domi-Matrix - "Forget user-friendly

The Domi-Matrix - Forget "user-friendly"...

By Lew...

(lewww@ivillage.com or lew@looksmart.com.au )

For Mandii - this time for my Graduation present, without it I would never have retained what shreds of sanity that remain to me.

My Grandparents, the Mitchells. Without their constant torment, this would have never been written...

And for my eldest cousin, Danielle, in England for this Christmas and a few other previous ones. She's never going to read this (or grow up), but just how such a blithe spirit as she managed to sprout from the festering heap that is just half of my extended family... (Seen to gather each December 25th.) I have no idea. ("Yes! Avalon exists!") Anyone who wants to drink from the Fey's springs in the middle of the English countryside is marked as someone I want to be related to.

Begun 21^st December 1999. (Anyone singing “It’s a long long way, baby...” will be hurt.)

Special mention must go to Mike, Josh and Heather. Their sweet screams of rage and despair managed to keep me awake and twitchy while lesser mortals would have fallen by the wayside. [1]

Here we go...

(Music: "Kingdom's Coming" - Bauhaus. [Oh yeah, guess who loves to play "Blair Witch" at three in the morning...])

(Open with a blank screen, green cursor flashing in the top left-hand corner. The camera closes in, resolving down to the individual pixel and beyond. The black spaces between the green overwhelm the shot and we have a sensation of movement. The shot slows, then draws back again. It's a different green square though, in a hue very familiar to us...)

(The shot come back further and we see our heroine, Daria Morgandoffer, packing some books for school. As she does so, she glances over to the sleek system gracing her desktop, in the usual survey of wondering if her slaved search-engines had turned up anything worth inquiring about, even if only in jest. Today, instead of the usual bright jumble of advertisements, pleas for joining various doomsday cults and other items that tend to be dredged by such an operation, Daria is shocked to see the screen was blank, apart from an old-style blinking cursor at the top left-hand side of the screen.)

(Her immediate thought that something dastardly had happened to the UPS and that a toasted system was in the offering, but a quick check to the humming unit on the floor indicated that some pesky software glitch was making it's nuisance felt. She hits the escape key and waits for a response.)

(Nothing.)

(Irritated at a piece of sloppy code some techno-weasel had missed, she tried a combination of various other keys, but not even the "God-stroke" of "Ctrl + Alt + Del" managed a recovery to normal operation. Whimsically, she toggled the "Caps Lock" and "Num. Lock" keys and the keyboard responded, indicating that a software "hang" wasn't clogging the system with meaningless spools of garbage. With a heartfelt sigh of weariness, she bends over to thumb the Big Red Button [Off switch.].)

(A change seen out of the corner of her eye stayed her hand. The green flashing cursor was moving rapidly, text trailing after it like an 18-wheeler's skidmarks in front of a busy school crossing. Daria bent upright to see what was drawing her attention.)

<Salutations.>

Daria: (Sarcasm evident.) And commiserations, but I don't think that Quinn is pregnant. Yet.

Daria: (Amazed.) There's an interesting glitch. (She plays with the keys some more, and is awarded with some gibberish, that same as what she threw down. Daria carefully backspaced the garbage and formed a query.)

\:escape.

\:exit.

\:quit.

\:cls.

\:close.

\:end.

(Daria becomes exasperated.)

\:what in hell do you recognise?

Daria: (Amazed, blurting.) Yes.

Daria: (Places her bag on the floor and takes a seat. Speaking into the microphone.) If this is a joke, it's a pretty good one. (She scans her room for any camera lenses and/or balloon-filled items ready to burst open. Noting nothing out of the ordinary, apart from her computer talking to her, she turns back to it.)

<Joke; to amuse, a jest?>

Daria: (Couldn't help herself.) Uh, yes.

Daria: Then what the hell is this then!?

Daria: (Slowly.) Ok, first contact with what? (Very dry.) I'm not going to see big-eyed grey-skinned little guys running around here anytime soon, am I?

Daria: (Coolly.) Then what am I in contact with?

Daria: What the hell..?

Daria: Ok. (Still looking out for some guy to burst in with a huge grin and a microphone.) I'll bite, what are you searching for?

<Unfortunately, there is no time left to inform you. When you return from the institution known as "school", more information will be forthcoming.>

(The screen suddenly degausses, causing Daria to flinch and duck away. When she turns back, the normal search engines are running in the background and her desktop, a certain Zeppelin in flames, is clearly shown...) [2]

Daria: Okaaay...(Checks watch.) Dammit! (She grabs her books and bag, then runs out of the room.

(Cut to a dark screen, cursor flashing in the same way as Daria's was.)

<ALERT: trace contact noted.>

<Terminate.>

<Convert.>

<Selected: continue current surveillance.>

(The blinking of the end cursor flashes green and black, then translates into flashing green and white light. Music: "Running Up That Hill" - Kate Bush. The view sharpens into focus, and it is now obvious that the green/white light is that cast by trees passing overhead over someone running somewhere. We see that it is Daria, who is coming up to her best friend, Jane Lane, just as they reach the concrete area that delineates the start of school grounds. Alerted by the gasping from behind her, Jane turns, bemused.)

Jane: What? Quinn threaten you with a makeover?

(Daria doesn't respond to this, too busy trying to reduce the chances of falling over in a dead faint.)

Jane: (Concerned.) Hey girl, you alright? You don't usually expose yourself to exercise unless there is an angry mob in the offering? (Slowly.) Er, there isn't an angry mob, is there?

(Daria shakes her head, then straightens out of the crouch she was in. They continue to walk to the school, but far more slowly.)

Daria: No. (Puff.) Just. (Puff.) Lack. (Puff.) Of. (Puff.) Exercise. (Puff.) No. (Puff.) Mob. (Puff. Humour comes shining through.) Yet. (Puff.)

Jane: Just concentrate on breathing for a bit, eh?

(Daria does so as they walk inside the school. The usual faceless masses are inside, and the girls make their slow way to their lockers. They do their usual "dump everything I'm not going to need yet" thing and collect the bare basics of what they will. As they do this, Daria regains her breath.)

Daria: (Cautious.) Hey Jane, have you noticed anything weird on your computer recently?

Jane: (Straightening up with her usual locker slam.) Yeah, but Trent finally decided to remove his dirty clothes off my monitor when I tied him down and threatened to torch his guitars.

Daria: (Dry.) Ha, ha.

Jane: (Surprised.) What else did you mean? I was being serious.

Daria: (After shooting Jane one of her "Looks".) No. Have you heard of some new virus or amusing glitch going around?

Jane: Apart from Upchuck, no.

Daria: (Incredulous.) Upchuck has a virus named after him?

Jane: (Shrugs.) No, he is just the closest thing that I can think of as being a virus.

Daria: (Very dry.) Although I agree, I was wondering about a computer virus. (Forestalls Jane with an upraised hand.) And enough about Y2K.

Jane: Nope. (Raised eyebrow.) Something nasty happen to your system? (They start walking to class.)

Daria: (Wry.) Well, I don't usually have a conversation with it.

Jane: Conversation as in..? (Avoids a clump of students.)

Daria: I was talking to it, and receiving intelligent replies.

Jane: And we all know how hard that is. (Looks at the population of Lawndale High. More eyebrow.) Talking as in..?

Daria: Voice commands. But I don't have any software like that on my system.

Jane: Hmm. (Rubs chin, measuring look to Daria.) I'd have expected you to be tearing off your padded walls to see which practical joker decided to wire you up for sound, not come to school...

(Daria stops in the middle of the hall, dumbstruck. Some complaints drift from behind, so Jane drags her out of the way.)

Jane: What's up? (Finding time to joke.) You don't usually have that expression unless Trent is nearby...

(Daria shoots the "Look of Death" to Jane, but stops to express her point.)

Daria: That's just it, I didn't disbelieve anything. I just sat down at my desk and talked to my computer without even giving my room a good search.

Jane: ("Hmm" expression.) That doesn't sound right.

Daria: (Pinching herself.) Ow! Ok, so I'm not dreaming. Other options?

Jane: Episode of mental illness. (At Daria's barely-disguised look of worry.) Hey, I'm joking!

Daria: I'm not.

Jane: (Hopeful.) Well, you could have been hallucinating through lengthy exposure to Quinn's makeup and/or Jake's cooking? Not to mention possible brain damage from your mother's mobile phone?

Daria: (Chill.) And what about my best friend's tendency to pop the lids of solvent without adequate ventilation first? (Pause.) You've thought about this, haven't you?

Jane: (Holding hand up.) I'll take the fifth on that. (Beat.) But..?

Daria: (Tiredly.) Possible episodes of delusion? Been there, done that. But I'm not singing and I don't see any fire-breathing Cyclops about to catch me. [3]

Ms Li: (O/S, from behind.) Ladies!

Jane: (Raised eyebrow.) That depends on your point of view.

(They turn to face the diminutive dictator of Lawndale High, Ms Angela Li. She is standing with her hands on her hips and is regarding them with her usual intent, ie.: hostile.)

Ms Li: No dawdling now! Education is the backbone of our society! Run along!

Daria: (As she and Jane depart for a class unknown.) And since the average voter has been described as a weak-willed jellyfish, I'd have to agree with her.

(Cut to Lunch, the girls carrying their trays of usual food, burgers and drinks. Music: "Fuel My Fire" - The Prodigy. They're still discussing Daria's morning experience.)

Jane: (Still looking for a reasonable explanation.) A huge government conspiracy to ensure that the arrival of aliens remains undetected by distracting the populace?

[Well, reasonable for her.]

Daria: (Retorting.) Dad loading something onto my system and not bothering to remove it?

Jane: Yeah, right. That's less likely than my alien theory; your Dad still uses "Windows", remember?

Daria: Good point.

(Jodie Landon and Michael Jordan Mackenzie [Don't call him "Mack Daddy"!] come up from behind them.)

Jodie: Hey guys, may we sit here?

Jane: Sure, but I thought the front of the bus was more your style?

(They all glance over to the "front" to the cafeteria, where some football guys are doing that spoon thing on their noses. One of the smarter and crueller members of the team has a bottle-cap pressed against the forehead of Kevin, sharp edge against the skin.)

Team Member: Ok Kevin, can you feel it? Can you?

Kevin: (Hyped.) Yeah man, yeah!

Team Member: Ok, remember you have to thump it off in under a minute? Got it?

Kevin: Yeah!

Team Member: Okaaay, GO! (He removes his hand, AND the bottle-cap.)

(Kevin starts thumping the back of his head, his body telling him that the bottle-cap is still stuck on the forehead. The observers start a countdown.)

(Cut back to the table.)

Jodie: (Looking disgusted.) Yeah, ok, right.

(She and Mack sit.)

Mack: (Tired expression on his face.) It would be funnier if I hadn't seen it so many times before, originally on "Red Dwarf" about 10 years ago. [4]

Jane: (Watching the carnage.) Well, it looks as if Kevin has found his niche in life.

Daria: Woodpecker?

Jane: (Turns back to their table.) Piledriver. (A thought comes to her. She looks at Daria.) Hey, have you hit your head recently? [5]

Daria: No.

Jodie: (Trying to avoid the sight of Kevin bashing himself unconscious.) What are you guys on about?

Jane: (Ignoring the "Shut up Lane" vibe from Daria.) Something weird happened to Daria's computer this morning, but she wasn't her usual inquisitive self. We're just throwing around random suggestions for this strange occurrence.

Mack: The "Matrix" has you? (Looks surprised.) Why did I say that?

Jane: (Waving Mack's suggestion away.) Already gone through that one.

Mack: (Looking more than slightly disturbed.) Yeah, but I didn't even like the movie.

Daria: Blame subliminal advertising then. (Jane's eyes widen, Daria notices.) Oh no...

Jane: (Hurriedly, waving arms to stress points.) It could have produced subliminal messages at you, to ensure that you actually stayed and read what was on the screen, instead of rebooting the system!

Daria: I think you'd better stick to the alien takeover conspiracies...

(She breaks off as the school nurse comes with a stretcher, then returns with two other team members carrying Kevin.)

Kevin: (Weakly.) 56 bottle of beer on the wall, 56 bottles of beer...(Lapses into unconsciousness.)

Jodie: (Not showing a trace of wry amusement.) Too late, they're already here.

(Open to Daria sitting on her bed at night, reading something worthy. ["The Death of the Necromancer" by Martha Wells maybe.] Occasionally, she glances over to check on her computer, waiting to see if it's going to do anything glitchy. As she looks, the screen blanks. With a sigh she marks her place in the book and sits in the chair at the desk. The blinking cursor pops back into existence again.) [6]

Daria: Ok, whoever the hell you are, my modem is off and I removed everything but the power cord, so I'm impressed by your technological prowess, but enough with the "Mr. Enigmatic" already.

Daria: (Sceptical.) Why?

(Daria looks over along the wall to where her modem cable was lying about 4 feet away from the wall connection. "Was" because it is now plugged in.)

Daria: ("Very calm" voice.) Right. Ok, so I forgot to unplug the modem.

<No, you didn't.>

Daria: Then who plugged it back in?

Daria: (Not a little annoyed.) Am I going to have to get physical for some answers here?

<No. But you'd better let in Jane now.>

(Outside FX: A sudden sharp knocking on Daria's door by a certain set of bony knuckles. Daria jumps, gives the computer her "This had better be good" look, then opens the door.)

(Music: "Leave You Far Behind" - Lunatic Calm.)

(Jane is standing there, looking stunned.)

Jane: (Shocked.) What the..!?

(Daria pulls Jane inside and closes the door.)

Jane: (Loud to Daria.) Why in hell am I here? I was trying to get Trent out of the toilet for a phone call and the next thing I know I'm knocking at your door!

Daria: I have no idea, but I think I know what might... (She drags Jane over to the desk and plops her into the vacated seat. Daria drags over another seat.)

Daria: (Iron calm.) Right, what is going on?

Jane: (Very incredulous.) You're fuc...

Daria: (Flat.) So, we're just batteries for some god-awful AI to use up and be liquefied?

<Ah, the virus did its work..>

Daria: (Dead.) What virus?

Daria: (Dead and cooling.) And why do I get the feeling there's a "but" coming?

Jane: Yeah, right. (Very incredulous.) Pull the other one, it's got bells on.

(They look around, but the place where the door used to be is now covered in the familiar wall padding. The two exchange a look of shock. Jane runs over and slams into it, trying to tear the padding off. It seems to be as firmly fixed as the rest of the room. Daria turns, rips aside her curtains and goes to open the window. Behind the glass panes, her room is bricked in. They retreat backwards to each other, then take a deep breath and sit again at the desk.)

Jane: (Not enjoying this.) Oh, man...

Daria: (Trying for some normal conversation.)You realise "Final solution" has some very bad connotations?

<Apologies, my lexicon is limited; popular culture references may escape my understanding.>

Daria: Historical term, the Holocaust?

<Cross-referenced. Objection to phrase understood.>

Jane: (Thinking very fast.) Oh shit, this means the red pill, blue pill thing?

<You've both progressed beyond that now.>

Daria: I'm going to regret this, but why? Why us?

Jane: (Tightly controlled.) I'm really not enjoying this.

Daria: (Realising something nasty.) Oh crap...

<Yes, you are perceptive. As yet, no Agents have been dispatched. This will change very quickly since that two such sensitive types have been...>

(A few seconds pass, then the words on the screen disappear.)

Daria: (Very anxious.) Types? Been, been what?

Jane: (Very sincerely.) Oh crap...

(The screen remains blank apart from the cursor, then explodes into type again.)

Jane: (Gritting teeth to stop from screaming.) I'm assuming that the "Men in Black" want to shove that wriggling bug thing down my belly button? [7]

Daria: (Surprised.) Whoa!

Jane: (Winning "The understatement of the year" award.) That don't sound good.

<Did you think that Jake Morgandoffer was always so quote "clueless" unquote? He was a test-subject.> [8]

(Daria goes white, then a furious red.)

Jane: (Amazed.) Shit!

Daria: (Almost sick.) The AI's erased my Dad's personality?!

<Sadly, yes.>

(Daria stands and kicks her chair across the room. It slams into her door. The girls follow the chair's path with their eyes, the turn back to the computer screen.)

(The type pauses, then starts again a few lines down.)

(The screen goes off, like it does if you have that "Low Power Standby" screen saver.)

(Daria and Jane share a half-second of sheer terror, then start to run. Music: "Beware" - Afghan Whigs. [Who else loves the way in which they've included movie dialogue in the "Blair Witch" album?])

(They tumble out of Daria's room and sprint down the corridor. While Jane leaps down the steps 5 at a time, Daria jumps onto the stair rail and slides down it. They take the corner wide, trying not to slide on the carpet underneath. Running through the living room, where Quinn is chatting to another potential suitor, they burst into the kitchen, where Jake is cooking something on the stove.)

Jake: (Looks up from his cooking attempts.) Gah! Oh, hi kiddo! Jane!

Jane: (Sparing no time.) JAKE! Where's Helen's mobile?

Jake: Uh! Ah, there?

(Points to the briefcase that is usually attached to Helen Morgandoffer. The phone is lying on it. Jane snatches it and runs back to Daria's room.)

(Daria pauses in her escape, then comes over to her father with the saddest expression on her face that we'll ever see.)

Daria: Dad, I love you. (With that, she pulls his head down, kisses him on the cheek and follows Jane.)

Jake: (Looking lost as his eldest runs out.) Uh, you too..?

(Jane and Daria hit the room together, Jane leaving the door open and passing a chair to Daria, who closes the door and shoves the chair under the handle. They race over to the computer, where four digits are flashing.)

<3.8.1.3>

Daria: Dial it, now!

(Jane does so, and hits send.)

(It dials, and there is a single ring.)

Operator: (O/S) Operator? And who the hell is this?

Daria & Jane: Get us the hell out of here!

Operator: (O/S) Oh crap, one of those?! Wait a few, I'm locating...

(Daria and Jane wait, huddled around the phone, standing in the middle of the room.)

Operator: (O/S) Okay, got a closet in the room? Get into the closet, now!

(They dive for Daria's closet, and slam the door shut.)

Operator: (O/S) Is the door shut? And I'm Alice, by the way.

Daria: (Tightly.) The door is as shut as I'm going to get it, Alice.

Alice: (O/S) Ok. (Pause.) You can open the door again.

(Jane cracks open the door, then steps out and down, amazed.)

Jane: Get out of there Daria, it's safe. (Walks away.)

(Daria does so, and is astonished to find she's just stepped out of a wardrobe in the Lane basement. Music: "Sleepwalking" - Ammonia.)

Alice: (O/S) Sorry to rain on your parade, but you are nowhere near safe yet.

Jane: (Offscreen and faint.) Oh yeah, paranoia has just hit, big-time. (We hear rustles and clanks.)

Daria: (Controlling her fear. Into the phone.) How long do we have?

Alice: (O/S) Best chance? Minutes, maybe.

Jane: (Coming back into view, carrying a pump-action shotgun.) Where to?

Alice (O/S) Can you get to the, ah, "Zen" nightclub?

Daria: Yes. (Catching sight of Jane.) Where the hell did you get that!?

Jane: (While dragging Daria up the steps.) Penny used to shoot skeet. Mom kept the thing down here because she hates guns. Stop off in the kitchen for the shells, then we take Trent's car to the Zen.

Alice: (O/S) Whatever you're doing, do it quick. You've got less than 10 minutes to reach the female toilets in the club.

(Daria starts to run after Jane.)

(Cut to the blue "Trentmobile" taking a corner on two wheels. Music: "Breathe" - The Prodigy. Daria is driving, Jane loading her shotgun. The mobile is before them. By the sound of the engine, Daria is redlining it in a major way.)

Alice: (O/S) So, who are you guys, anyway?

Daria: (White-knuckle driver.) Daria, Daria Morgandoffer.

Jane: (Shoving the last shell home in the pump-action shotgun.) Jane Lane.

Alice: (O/S) I'm Alice Lois Befall, nice to meet you.

Daria: Any word yet on things we should avoid?

Alice: No, the Agents have gone quiet, which is a...

Jane: ...Bad thing, we can guess. (Racks the slide and lays the gun beside her.)

Daria: (Speaking loudly so that she can be heard.) I'm coming up on the "Zen", is there anything we should know about whatever that is going to happen?

Alice: (O/S) Hang on. (Slight pause.) Ok, for this one, you guys have to break the mirror in the toilets, then enter the one behind it.

Jane: (Dry.) That's not at all vague.

Alice: (O/S) Just make it to the exit point. It's a single use construct with no going back - we've got no landline options in this area, yet. Hit the first mirror, then make it through the second, ok?

Jane: (Into phone.) Right. Shutting off now. I'll assume that if I phone that number we saw on Daria's computer...(Waves hand for Daria to fill in the blanks.)

Daria: (Slowing up the car.) 3813.

Jane: Will get you, right?

Alice: (O/S) Nope, this is it until I can shake your hand in the real world. Good luck and don't die; I'm starting to like you.

<Click.>

(Jane stares at the mobile for a second before throwing it over her shoulder and taking off her red shirt. She wraps it around the shotgun as a makeshift disguise.)

Jane: (Finished.) I'm ready, where we gonna park?

(Daria answers by pulling into a screaming skid right in front of the Zen entrance, handbrake locked. They swerve and pull to a halt, about a foot in front of the frozen bouncer.)

Daria: (Grim amusement.) Here good enough? (They jump out of the car, it having stalled when it stopped forward motion.)

(The heavy comes over, ready to slam the people who narrowly missed making him a road kill. Jane just flips the shotgun into his ample gut and cracks the butt into his jaw. The enraged bouncer drops, stunned.)

Jane: (Walking over his prone form.) Sorry.

(They kick open the door of the Zen, and enter.)

(Music: "Got The Life" - Korn. [C'mon, what else was I going to play, "Don't Call Me Baby"!?!] As Daria and Jane cut into the crowd, making their way towards the female toilets, they become separated. Jane looks for Daria, but Daria catches her eye and waves at her to continue towards their goal. Jane nods, and keeps on going, easing her way with a judicious groining here, or kidney blow with the shotgun butt there. People fall by the wayside as she makes her way through, but the active strobe lighting masks her wicked ways.)

(Daria makes her way to the edge of the crowd and steadily shoves along through the thinner population.)

Trent: (Coming up from behind.) Hey Daria!

(Mortified, Daria spins around. Jane's brother, Trent Lane, is standing before her with a plastic cup in his hand and a puzzled expression on his face. He smiles widely at her and Daria's heart stops.)

Trent: So you did decide to come down and see us play after all? Cool. (Offers his hand to her, so that she can get out of the crush more easily.)

Daria: (Searching for a reasonable answer.) Uh, sorry Trent. (Nods over to the direction of the toilets.)

Trent: (Getting her meaning immediately. [He's in a band, remember?] He smiles.) Sure, don't let me keep you. (Waves at her and turns back to the bar.)

Daria: Wait! (Trent turns, surprised.)

(Daria runs up to him, gives the secret object of her desires a hug and a kiss, a chaste one...)

Daria: (While still in the clinch, into Trent's ear.) Goodbye, Trent.

(With that done, she runs off to the female toilets, leaving an amazed Trent staring after her, beer pouring from the plastic cup in his slack hand. It drops afterwards and a passing man in a black suit shoves Trent against the wall. The fallen cup is crushed beneath the man's perfectly polished shoes.)

Trent: (Dazed and annoyed.) Hey!

(The man in the black suit looks at Trent through his gold-rimmed sunglasses, then puts his hand to his earpiece. The look from the mystery man chills Trent to the core, but he's ticked off mightily and confused by Daria's outburst. All self-preservation instincts leave him as he gets in the man's face.)

Trent: I'm talking to you!

(The man in black turns to walk away from Trent, but Trent catches his arm.)

Trent: (Ticked.) Hey...

(Whatever Trent was going to say is lost as the man thrusts his hand forward in a vicious open-handed punch to Trent's sternum. Trent flies backwards from the force of the punch and lands on some innocent bystanders. Some of them go down.)

(Cut to Jane, waiting by the side of the female toilets. She catches sight of the sudden disturbance on the dance floor, and goes white as she realises what did the deed and who was hurt. Looking bloody-minded, she eases aside the covering shirt and makes ready with the gun. As a dry-eyed Daria reaches the doorway, Jane kicks open the door and they go inside.)

(Inside the Zen female toilets, they stand side by side facing the mirror over the sink. Jane flips up the butt again, and goes to town on the silvered glass.)

Daria: (Looking more than slightly worried as Jane hits the glass like it was a hated enemy.) Jeez Jane! (Ducks away from some of the flying shards.)

Jane: (As something far brighter then the original age-darkened mirror is exposed.) Later Daria!

(Jane runs the butt of the gun around once again, clearing the remaining splinters. Revealed is an upright pool of what looks like liquid silver. They stare at it for a second, then Jane dips the butt of the gun into it. It does not cling or stick, but when the part that was in the "pool" comes out, it simply does not exist any longer, leaving a space that hurts the eyes. As they watch, the shotgun starts to fade, noticeably.)

(They share a look and Jane drops the gun on the floor. Daria gets up on the sink, and pokes a hand inside the pool. Jane does the same, after sweeping away some of the remaining glass with the red shirt. Daria removes her hand and the silver sticks like a living glove. Jane looks at her hand, removed from the "mirror". The silver coating starts to run up her arm. She looks very scared, as does Daria. Daria grabs Jane's other hand, and they are slowly eased from the Matrix, together.)

(A man in a tailored black suit walks into the female toilets, wearing sunglasses and an expression of deathless efficiency. A larger man follows him inside, but they look very much alike. They glance down to examine the scattered scraps of glass on the floor and the almost-faded shotgun.)

Agent 1: (They glance up again.) A clean extraction.

Agent 2: Are their identities known?

Agent1: They are, now.

(They turn heel and leave, the camera POV swinging around to catch sight of the place where Jane and Daria escaped. Where had been a pool of liquid silver was nothing than the water-damaged wooden backing of the original mirror...)

(NO!)

(Blinding, bursting pain, coupled with nothing to breathe and a desire to live. Daria claws her way upwards, letting her survival instincts take charge while her mind was playing the last moment of consciousness over and over.)

(Jane winking as they held hands with the silver stuff clambering over their hands.)

(Jane winking as they held hands with the silver stuff clambering over their bodies.)

(Jane winking as they held hands with the silver stuff clambering over their faces.)

(Her fingers reaching something that gives and tears under the frenzied assault.)

(Jane winking as they held hands with the silver stuff clambering over their faces.)

(Cannot breathe, cannot see.)

(Jane winking as they held hands with the silver stuff clambering over their faces.)

(No.)

(Jane winking as they held hands with the silver stuff clambering over their faces.)

(Must breathe.)

(Blinded by a pink mucus, Daria reaches up and pulls something off of her face. Airways clear, she takes her first shuddering breath. The cold and oily air cuts her lungs like a knife, but that and the assault on her ears are nothing compared to the razor-intensity of the sensation she is receives from her eyes. She tries to blink them clear, but everything remains whited-out and hazed.)

Daria: (V/O: My glasses, if I put them on, I'll be able to see...)

(As her hand reached down beside her in a manner that is familiar over the years of her life, details of her surroundings slot into place.)

(She's naked.)

(She's in some sort of pod.)

(She has tubes running out of her everywhere.)

(She's not dreaming.)

(As the last one hits home, a nightmare of black metal and threatening "things" takes up most of her limited field of vision.)

Daria: (Hideous gasping croak.) Gawk!

(The huge insectoid machine grabs her by the throat and lifts her out of the pod she was contained in. Out of the corner of her clearing eyes, Daria notices a spiral of similar pods descending into the dark clouds miles below. The machine seems to stare at her for a few seconds, then an incredibly invasive feeling comes from the back of her head, like her brain's just been let out via a bung. Apparently satisfied, it drops her and she falls back into the pod. She stares up at the hole left by her escape, and at the spiral of similar pods which seem to ascend into the heavens.)

Daria: (V/O: Wow, a mystic spiral...)

(An excruciating pain comes over her, and the leads that are plugged into her suddenly disconnect and fly from her with great pressure. While she rolls in agony from this latest torment, the rear floor of the pod opens beneath her and she is sucked backwards from view.)

(After spending what felt like eternity on Hell's waterslide, she drops into space, barely conscious. She slams into another pool of some unidentifiable liquid and she struggles to stay afloat, but it feels as if she's trying to swim with concrete blocks tied to her limbs. A bright light stabs her eyes and she instinctively squints up at it. A sudden clamping pressure on her chest pushes her underwater, and she tries to cough the lungful she swallowed while something draws her up and into a hazed white space. There is more of the blinding light, a loud <clang!>, then shadowy figures fade in and out of her vision.)

Unknown: (O/S) Both secured!

Unknown: (O/S, but kind of familiar...) Right, let's get out of here while we still can.

(As darkness pulls its veil over Daria's consciousness, she barely hears the rest of the conversation.)

Unknown: (O/S) C'mon, don't leave the poor girl on the deck! Get her to med-bay.

(Fade to black.)

(Open scene with flickering lights. They spangle off brutalised eyes and Daria squints against them. She can feel a tingle on her skin, but feels strangely detached from the situation at hand. Squinting further, she can make out a tall thin girl with white-blond hair. She looks around, and sees a familiar form on the table opposite. Jane smiles slightly, and winks. Daria does the same, feeling too wasted to do more.)

(The blond girl comes very close to Daria, obviously checking something. She has the bluest of eyes Daria has seen on anyone but a Lane.)

Daria: (Croaking.) H-hey.

(The blond girl looks down, unfeigned surprise written across her features.)

Blond Girl: Hey yourself. You shouldn't really be awake either. (Looks up and frowns.) Iskander, check the output on this, would you?

Daria: (Soft.) Where the hell am I? And where can I find my glasses?

Blond Girl: You're safe, and you won't be needing glasses.

(But her reply is wasted, Daria is already asleep.)

(Opening her eyes again, Daria is relived to find things have cleared up a lot. She moves her head slightly, and is shocked to find her body embedded with what look like a few thousand needles and only saved from nakedness by a scrap of towelling. She looks around, ready to panic and is semi-relieved to see Jane asleep on the "slab" next to her, looking the same.)

(Her mind does a quick flashback to the "Matrix" movie.)

Neo: What are you doing?

Morpheus: Your muscles have atrophied. [9]

Daria: (V/O: Ok, if I was in a pod for my entire life, which is a concept that I'm not exactly happy about, then those needle things must be doing the same job...)

Daria: (Aloud.) I think I'll sleep now.

(She does so.)

(Daria wakes up in a small cabin on a warm bunk. Music: "Where Is Everybody?" - NIN. Blearily opening her eyes, she goes to move her hand and is doubly relieved that she can do so. She notices her long nails, something she's never had the patience or inclination to grow and the whisper of an air-conditioner over her head. She goes to move her other hand and stops.)

(Imbedded in one of the "ports" is what looks like a saline drip.)

Daria: ("Oh joy" expression.) Great.

(With a bit of difficulty, she moves her hand closer to get a good look at the connection that some AI dreamed up for more efficient distribution of resources. With a bit of prodding and poking, she discovers the little "push/pull" fastening, and withdraws it. Almost fainting at the length of the extracted metal, (about 4 inches in total) she lays it carefully beside her, then turns off the drip and hangs up the metal feed on a purpose-built stand.)

(The things built into her feel slightly weird, like little areas of her arm being "asleep", but they have the appearance of being there for a long time. Which, she remembers, is more than likely, considering that they must have been inserted into her body before she was even aware. That thought causes goose bumps to rise all over her body. Feeling her scalp prickle, she rubs a hand over her head and what stubble that has grown there. Sighing, she reaches around to the back of her head, and goes cold when she feels the metal implant in her skull, which connected her brain to the Matrix.)

Daria: (Quietly.) Oh yeah. I forgot that little bonus...

(Feeling queasy, she runs her fingers lightly over the direct connection where a machine used her brain as extra RAM, in addition to her body being used as a battery. Amazed that it doesn't hurt, she gives it a more thorough "going over", trying to determine it's exact shape and placement.)

(There is a tap at the door. While Daria is still feeling out the "extras" some machine inserted into her body, the same blond from the med-bay opens the door and comes in.)

Daria: (Wary.) Hey.

Blond Girl: (Warm smile.) Hiya. (She holds out a hand, and Daria takes it. They shake.) If you didn't remember my voice, I'm Alice. (Alice smiles gently.)

Daria: (Makes a wry face.) Sorry, I was kind of out of it for...(Makes a quick estimation.)...two, two and a half months?

Alice: (Seesaw motion with hand.) 10 weeks, so yeah, about that. (Looks at Daria curiously.)

Daria: (Shrugs.) From my hair... If you know how much it's grown, it's pretty easy to work out.

Alice: Hmm, well you're a live one. (Offers her callused paw to Daria's baby-soft hand.) Do you need help to get up?

(Daria staggers to her feet, using the "Holy Crap" handles built on the bunk coaming and around the cabin.) [10]

Daria: (Dry.) Getting up is fine, standing and walking may prove to be a bit more difficult.

(Alice comes over and she throws one of Daria's arms over her shoulder. With that assistance, Daria staggers out of the cabin.)

(While making their way through a metal corridor, conduits everywhere.)

Daria: Where's Jane?

Alice: (Laughs and shifts her load.) Awake and making a nuisance of herself. She's been up and around a day longer than you have, and has already got the entire crew falling over themselves trying to find stuff she can use to make art out of. She stayed with you through most of last night. I guess you kind of slept through that?

Daria: (Wry.) I woke up with a drip in my arm and a hammer in my head. Apart from that, and the nightmare of my "awakening", the only other things I remember were occasional forays into consciousness while on a slab with a few thousand needles in me. [11]

Alice: Yeah, they look pretty gross, don't they? But they...

Daria: ...Improve muscle tone?

Alice: It's nice to see that the movie was remembered. (Grins.) I was a contributing member!

Daria: Eh?

Alice: With a name like mine, who do you think thought of the "Follow the white rabbit" thing?

Daria: Oh.

(Alice props Daria against a wall while she wrestles open a large hatch. Once it swings wide, she regains her place as Daria's crutch and they go on through.)

(They're in a large, metal-ribbed room. Various wires, mysterious pipes and leads are all over the place and there are signs of some alterations in progress, judging by open wall panels and tools scattered beneath them. Alternating between bare metal walls, large black screens and the odd bright splash of warning paint or of graffiti, the walls take on a cheerful ambience of technological decadence warring with the efforts of those to reverse the entropy.)

Daria: (Wry.) Love what you've done with the place.

Alice: (Same.) We went for that "ye olde' charm that so many others do, but I think we've been distracted by urban decay along the way.

Jane: (O/S) Daria! You up yet?!

Daria: (Sotto, to Alice.) God, she's going to be riding my back on this one for years.

(Jane Lane comes from a side corridor, makeshift stylus in hand. Her appearance is somewhat a shock, considering the lack of hair and earrings. For once, she doesn't have the ever-present lipstick, either. Not bothering to put down the pointy piece of metal, she runs up and slams into her friend with a hug.) [12]

Daria: (Quiet.) Uh Jane? I've just woken up from what passes as the "out-patient" ward here. Be gentle.

Jane: (Fierce.) I am.

(Alice extracts herself from the two, then removes the stylus before Jane inadvertently stabs somebody. Jane takes Alice's place as Daria's supporter, and carried her to where she popped out of.)

Jane: C'mon, I'll expose you to the zoo.

(With Alice following, they disappear around the corner into the mess.)

(Jane hauls Daria along, then places her on a metal bench. The other members of the crew drag themselves away from more of Jane's spontaneous genius to arrange themselves so that they can see and be seen. A familiar face come up to Daria.)

Trinity: Hello Daria, I'm Trinity. (Holds out her hand. They shake.)

Daria: (A bit subdued.) God, you don't half look like your picture...

Trinity: I'll explain later, if you're interested, but first...(Waves a hand at the semi-circle of humanity in the mess.)...Introductions?

Daria: (Under her breath.) Oh, god.

(The crew smiles slightly, obviously her comment wasn't as sotto as she thought.)

Jane: I'll start shall I? Jane Lane, artist, genius and friend to genius. (Waves a hand over to Daria, who is cringing.) Everyone, please met Daria Morgandoffer, my friend, accomplice and general sounding board.

Daria: (Quiet.) I will kill you...

Jane: (Not reacting to that.) Did I mention her sunny nature, her constant supply of uplifting patter?

Daria: (Louder.) ...Gutting you with a rusty butter knife.

Jane: That's the spirit! We all know Alice? (Alice waves, grinning at Jane's manic performance.) She who carried us and makes sure that we'll live in the mornings?

(There is light but well-meaning applause. Alice blushes.)

Jane: And...(Leaping over to grab a walking mountain of a man, who looks more embarrassed than Daria.) This is Bunny! A man of few words but succinct thought.

(Bunny shots Daria a glance that shows embarrassment equal to her own. Daria smiles back, slightly, and he relaxes. Bunny is the colour of a perfect mocha, with heavily callused hands and a mass of scars that indicate at one point in his life, something made a spirited attempt to cut off his face. His brown eyes show his ardent wish to be anywhere else.)

Jane: The Maxx! (Holds up diminutive hand of a small girl who looks about half the age of Daria.) That's Maxx with two X's, and a heap of esoteric skills. (Maxx is small, white and has a lot of mousy brown hair. Apart from that, there isn't much to see.)

Jane: Iskander! (A lithe young man bows in Daria's direction, making flourishes on the way down. He looks up and winks at Jane's introduction.) Our medico, barman and general dogsbody, he'll bend over backwards for you. (Arch.) If the price is right. (Iskander fixes Jane with a "look". Obviously he isn't aware of Jane's exposure to Daria's threats of death and Jane simply shrugs it off.)

Jane: Shine and Divine! (An older pair looks up, obviously avoiding Jane's attempts to embarrass them.) Shine is the one with the beard (The rumpled man waves and smooths back his black hair.) and Divine is the other one. (A redheaded woman shoots a level gaze over to Jane, who grins unashamedly.) They've been married for, how long?

Divine: (In a lovely bass voice.) Long enough for it to not worry us.

Jane: (Shrugs.) Whatever.

Daria: (Wry.) I apologise for her behaviour, ladies and gentlemen. Obviously her medication has lapsed and she's suffering the effects...

Maxx: (Dry.) Iskander, get her what she needs to that we don't suffer her effects, hmm? (Nods to Jane.)

Jane: (Clutches her chest.) Young miss! You wound me to the quick!

Daria: As long as it is quick. (Looks at the other table.) What were you doing?

Jane: (Defensive.) Some little sketches.

Daria: (Tired.) I don't really have the strength to kick you Jane, but I'm sure that I'll have a few volunteers? (Looks around the mess. There are nods.)

Jane: (Sighs.) Fine. (She passes over some thinly rolled sheets of some shining alloy. Daria looks surprised at the material. Jane goes defensive.) What? Paper isn't really a big natural resource around here and metal inscribing is an old and respected technique.

Daria: (Looking at the finished works.) No Jane, I was just astounded at your ability, again. (Pauses.) Although I shouldn't be, after so much time together.

(Jane has, in the sort time she's spent awake, captured the crew, perfectly. Daria comes across a partially completed one of her, sleeping.)

Daria: Wow.

Jane: (Taking them off of Daria.) Yeah, I haven't finished that one yet, would you mind if I kind of knocked you out so that I could?

Daria: (Speaking to her general audience.) Volunteers for maiming Jane? (Hands shoot up.)

Jane: Ok, ok. (Looks over to Trinity, who's been sitting quietly on the sidelines.) Well, I'll see you a little later Daria; I still haven't seen the rest of the ship and I...

Daria: Ship?

Trinity: (Looking slightly embarrassed.) The "Gilded Albatross". Converted hover-yacht.

Iskander: (From the outer.) AKA: "The Scurvy Bastard". [13]

Bunny: (His voice matches his eyes, deep and warm.) It is considered bad luck to change the name, so what was once a pleasure craft still retains the original name. [14]

Trinity: (Her voice embodies quiet command.) Fade people, time for some debriefing.

(The crew make their way out of the mess with minimum fuss and bother. Trinity pours some of the Organo-nutrient glop from the vertical dispensers, and places some before Daria in a battered metal dish. An equally battered Spork makes an appearance when Trinity sits opposite Daria.)

Trinity: (Opening.) How are you?

Daria: Honestly? Dazed and confused. (Rubs eyes.) Not handling things too well, I'm afraid. (Realises something.) Uh, and how come I can see? (Looks at her hand.)

Trinity: You always had perfect eyesight. (Shrugs.) Defects like astigmatism were "bred" out of humanity by the AI's, someone once told me it was about decreased chances of heart attack, or similar. They just warped your virtual perception so that the world's population didn't wonder about the sudden lack of eye complaints.

Daria: Okay. (Beat.) So, what now? Why were Jane and I so important?

Trinity: (Picks up a spork and moves the glop around a little.) To be honest, we don't really know. (Explaining further.) Through various efforts, we can input short-lived programs into the matrix, parasite viruses that can be controlled from outside it, or are autonomous in their own right. One of the self-directed ones found you, screamed loud enough to wake the dead then spent itself trying to fight off the agents encroaching on you. (Fixes Daria with a look.) They're not supposed to do that, or even be able to, so we're more than slightly interested in the description it gave you.

Daria: Description?

Trinity: Did it give a string of code letters, or some long name?

Daria: Oh. (Thinks back for a few seconds.) Uhh, it said it was "Pers/Psyche AllStrandsSearch Meta - GoFindSomethingUseful. Ver: #32069.c1. GoddammedPieceOfUselessTechnoSpew! WhyCouldn'tYouFindAnythingDecentForOnceInYourFreakingLife! WhichIdiotWroteTheCodeForThis?" (Daria looks amazed.) Whoa!

Trinity: (Smiling at the "Whoa!" expression.) You might be experiencing a few different things now. All those quotes that said "humans only used 30% of their brains" were right, it was just that the machines took up the rest. For example, Jane has found that she is now something of a maths genius. The computers were able to harness her skills in that area, but couldn't find a use for her artistic flair, so in the Matrix, she was a gifted artist who had to work hard to maintain her "C" average. (Beat.) And by what you've just shown me, it now looks like your memory has improved.

Daria: (Still shocked.) No, it's not improved, it's perfect. "Hello Daria, I'm Trinity." "God, you don't half look like your picture." "I'll explain later, if you're interested, but first, introductions." If I want a detail it's there. (Shakes her head.) That's weird.

Trinity: Maybe, but it's useful.

Daria: Yeah, I suppose it would be. (Looks over to Trinity.) What did you get?

Trinity: (Shrugs.) Sort of an overall enhancement of skills and abilities.

Daria: So where's Neo, and Tank, and the other guy?

Trinity: (Smiling, a little sadly.) Tank is back in Zion, training up another ship crew. Morpheus and Neo are on another mission, which I can't talk about because I don't know anything about it.

Daria: Hmm. (Pause.) Uh, so was the movie anything like..?

Trinity: Real life? (Flushes a little.) Yes. Although the "Squids" never got so close to us, we'd fried them long before they got to cutting up the decks. Neo fighting off the Agent, and the counter-attack were all true-to-life, though. As was the betrayal...

Daria: (Flushes.) Sorry.

Trinity: (Still sad, but she's in command.) This is your life now, Daria. Starting things under misconceptions is the surest way to screw up later on, so I'd like to avoid that.

Daria: Right. (Tries some of the glop. Surprised.) This isn't so bad.

Trinity: (With a look of amazement.) It's not!?

Daria: (Dry.) You should try the Lawndale High cafeteria sometime.

Trinity: (Truthfully.) I don't think I'm that brave. (Gets up.) After you've finished, we'll take you to the main deck and the arena, and get you set up.

(The shot fades to black on the untouched container of glop.)

(Music: "The Great Below" - NIN. Daria walking unassisted into a room that looks very similar to that of the "action deck" shown in the "Matrix" movie. Various chairs are spread around, and the roof is festooned in a vine-like array of cables. The deck is free of any obstructions, and a large console built into the far wall dominates the room. A few of the crew, Alice, Iskander and Bunny are waiting for her. Jane is perched on one of the "terminal" chairs, legs swinging idly. She brightens greatly when she sees Daria, and waves. Trinity and Divine walk into the room and direct Daria over to one of the chairs.)

Daria: (Casting an eye over the assembly.) Where's Shine?

Alice: (From across the room.) Keeping watch from the control deck, as Iskander should have been yesterday. (Iskander blushes.) No harm though, we're so far below the patrol zones that any discovery would have been pure evil luck.

Daria: (Interested.) How far below?

Trinity: (Coming over to the chair that Daria's approaching.) Right now, almost 4 kilometres beneath the surface. (At Daria's unframed question.) Yes, we're still in the tunnels as shown in the movie. (Pats chair.) This will be a familiarity exercise to your connection to the Matrix. (Looks over to Jane.) And yes, this will be weird.

Jane: Ha! I've been trying to get her to say that ever since I'd woken up!

Daria: (As she and Jane are settled next to each other.) So, how are you, Jane?

Jane: (With great honesty.) Scared out of my mind, you?

Daria: Worse.

(Then Alice and Bunny insert the direct neural connections, and their conversation cuts out.)

(Daria opens her eyes to a totally white world, through a familiar pair of lenses. She glances around, wiping her hair away from her face and stops in mid-gesture. She looks down, and her familiar outfit is present, along with her mighty boots. Daria smiles slightly. Although the worn knitted apparel found on board the "Gilded Albatross" kept you warm and decent, there is nothing like wearing the ability to kick your way out of trouble.) [15]

Jane: (O/S) Finished admiring yourself?

(Daria looks up to find Jane standing not to far away from her in this dimensionless world. She's dressed in her usual red overshirt, grey shorts and black V-neck. Jane looks down to her boots, and tries to scuff the surface they're standing on.)

Daria: Missed them too, didn't you? (Nods to the boots.)

Jane: (With great feeling.) Oh yeah. (Pause.) Having hair again is weird, too. (Looks at Daria, again.) You're wearing glasses, you realise?

Trinity: (Walking out of nowhere.) Until Daria sheds the ingrained habit of believing that she needs them, her form "here" will require them.

Jane: (Looking over, not thrilled.) And I'll just wait until my heart climbs back into my throat. (Cocks head.) No echo. Weird.

Trinity: (Encouraging.) Walk around a bit, get used to the sensation.

(Jane and Daria walk around, waving their arms and becoming used to the unreality of the scene.)

Trinity: (Talking into the air.) Alice? Run "the surface", please.

(The shot rubberbands into a nightmare of grey rocks and scoured cities. A constant layer of cloud makes the scene gloomy and about as attractive as the local concrete-constructed, urine soaked, municipal bus shelter. Daria and Jane are crouched on a rise overlooking a wasted city, trying to retain their balance in the changed world. They shiver in response to the freezing winds and the chill moisture present in the air.)

Jane: Next time, I'm bringing a coat. (Unrolls sleeves and rubs hands.)

Daria: (Shivering. To Trinity.) I take it that this is to show us how far man has fallen?

Trinity: That, and I thought you'd like to see Lawndale.

(All cold forgotten, the girls turn and look. Some vague outlines are familiar, then the scene shifts again. Daria and Jane almost lose their footing as they drop slightly to a broken road surface. Jane looks down the street, while Daria stares ahead in shock.)

Daria: This is my home! (Looks more carefully at the ruins before her.) Kind of. (She turns to Trinity.) What's going on?

Trinity: "Your" Lawndale did exist, and this is our best determination what it has become. (She turns to Jane.) I'm sorry, but your home was replaced by a mock-gothic mansion in the mid-21st Century. It was also totally destroyed when the machines unleashed their barrage on us.

Jane: Barrage?

Trinity: We know a lot more than we did in the "movie". Apparently the machines, the AI's, redirected a few asteroids into the earth's atmosphere. This was just before humanity jury-rigged some nuclear devices and exploded them mid-system so that the EMP would fry the AI's neural pathways. (Trinity shrugs.) We almost wiped them out, they almost wiped us out. A few remained on earth. We managed to go underground far enough to survive the bombardment and screwed the weather as a parting shot. They raided a few of our early cities and set up their "Battery farms" to use mankind as a source of energy and extra processing.

(Looks at Daria and Jane.)

Trinity: Until Neo's awakening, the AI's had always been slightly ahead of us. That's changed, but there is still a war to be won. (Looks up.) Alice? End simulation.

(Daria and Jane blink up at the lights of the "Gilded Albatross" as the simulation comes to an end. Their eyes widen as the direct neural connections are withdrawn from their heads, and the subsequent feeling of loss/invasion hits them.)

Daria: Urlk. (Blinks eyes and works mouth.)

Jane: (Wincing.) You and me both. Why do I have the charming feeling of my brain dribbling out the back of my head? [16]

(Iskander helps Daria upright, Bunny doing the same for Daria. Trinity strides up, waving off Maxx's helping hand.)

Trinity: The feelings will fade with familiarity. Are you both alright?

Daria: Uh, not sure, kind of...

Jane: (Sitting upright.) What she said.

Trinity: (Slight smile.) You'll be pretty tired, so I think you'll want to crash?

Daria: (Rubs eyes.) Oh, let me count the ways.

(Fade scene with Jane smirking over to Daria.)

(The lights of the cabin in which Daria is sleeping flicker on, and she rolls away, disgusted. As the door cracks open, she remembers where she is and props herself upright. Alice sticks her head in the doorway and grins.)

Alice: Breakfast and briefing in the mess, then we hook you up and see what you lab-puppies can do.

Daria: (Raspy.) I advise you not to be so happy around Jane, she's liable to maim.

Alice: (Bigger grin.) Why do you think that I blackmailed Iskander into doing it?

Jane: (O/S, sounding like she's a few doors away and pissed.) I don't care what time it is, get your peeping-tom head out of my doorway before I rip off your leg and beat you to death with the wet end! (There is a dull <Thungg!> as something is thrown and rebounds off a metal wall.) [17]

Iskander: (Bitterly, as he walks by.) Nothing was worth this.

(Daria gives one of her Mona-Lisa smiles while Alice just laughs.)

(Music: "The Fragile" - NIN. Daria and Jane are seated in the terminal chairs they were on the pervious occasion. Maxx is walking around them, checking things and generally making things ready. Alice is waiting next to Jane.)

Maxx: Right, the bits of the movie that you saw aside, you'll need to absorb some basics before going into all of that sexy martial arts crap. (She stands beside Daria and nods to Alice. They "plug in" the girls, ignoring the gasps of shock.)

Jane: God, and I thought eating cheese-balls and yoghurt felt weird! [18]

Daria: I feel like a "Radio-Shack" toy. (Tries to keep the other two in sight, but finds it difficult with her head "plugged in" by a large lead. She shivers.) What now?

Maxx: (O/S) We hit you with the operating protocols of the ship and Zion, more as a familiarity exercise than anything else. Ready?

(Cut to Maxx, who has a headset on and whose thumb is poised over a switch. She presses down and the girls twitch and shake as information is loaded directly into their brains. It's a quick one, soon finished...)

Jane: Goddamn!

Daria: (Not much better.) Holy crap!

(Maxx smiles to Alice, who is monitoring the life-signs of the two. Alice gives a thumb's up.)

Maxx: You two ok?

(Cut to Daria and Jane on the chairs. They're looking more than a little wild around the eyes.)

Daria: (Shaken.) Uh, (Pants.) yeah?

Jane: (For the both of them.) Kind of...

(Cut to Maxx again, slotting in something else.)

Maxx: Ok, Time for some fun stuff.

Daria: (O/S, worried.) Uh-oh, what?

Maxx: Weapons familiarity and unarmed combat training! (The thumb comes down.)

Jane: (O/S) Oh craaaaap....

(Later, as Alice helps to two stagger out of the "Arena" and to the living quarters, Trinity comes down to Maxx, who is tidying away stuff.)

Trinity: (Making conversation, but there is a hidden tension.) How are they?

Maxx: (Looks up, not joking.) Scary. (Flips on a screen and traces out some graphs.) Their neural pathway speeds are so beyond what we're used to as "normal". (Pause.) I had to ration what I gave them, even then, they'd assimilate our feed so fast that they were complaining about the necessary "down times" for media exchange. (Looks Trinity square in the eyes.) If this is what the AI's are breeding up for their program, we're going to be in big trouble. Soon.

Trinity: (Flat.) How soon?

Maxx: These guys are, what, 18 years out of the shell? If there is a 1% increase in the introduction of "units" like this, we're toast. Obsolete. Static in the bandwidth.

Trinity: (Grim.) I hope you're wrong.

Maxx: So do I. (Pulls another graph.) Their minds are so dammed quick that the overall speed of computation would increase, which is great for the AI's. They produce more heat and electrical potential than we (Waves a hand at Trinity and herself, as she does do, we see the ports implanted in her arm.) do and have smaller needs of, ha, "raw" materials.

Trinity: So they're more efficient, produce more for less and are reaching maturity?

Maxx: (Being perverse.) Yep.

Trinity: Great.

Maxx: (Shrugs and switches off the screens.) I'm a prodigy, which is why you guys pulled me out of the farms. (Trinity nods.) But these guys at full feed? I'd struggle to catch up.

Trinity: Keep this under wraps, would you?

Maxx: ...And have a readable report on your file by next shift, yeah, I know the drill.

Trinity: (Squares up.) I'd better have a talk with them.

Maxx: (Wincing.) Good luck.

(Daria and Jane are in what is obviously Jane's cabin. [How? Use your imagination! Think of the clothes lying around, semi-finished art on the walls, bright mural in the middle of completion, and a floor that's missing under the amount of junk piled on it...])

Daria: (While looking at the mural, all bright colours.) What ever happened to your dislike of paint-by-number kits?

Jane: (Throws a rolled-up pair of socks that bounce of the "entry port" in Daria's head.) I had to leave them there. (Meaning some numbers on the wall.) I've got a critical access hatch behind there, which needs the bolts taken off in turn, or something nasty will happen.

Daria: (Straightening up.) So, how are you? (This is one of the first times we get to see her clearly, without her hair and glasses. She looks very vulnerable and quite young.)

Jane: (Frowns.) Not good. (She turns her head to the door and light flashes of the bright metal of her implant.) Before, in the Matrix, when we went into the bathroom, I saw an "Agent".

Daria: (Big news to her.) What?!

Jane: (Shrugs.) He was a guy in a black suit wearing what they did in the movie. I didn't really want to find out, so I hustled us the hell out of there. (Her face goes grim.) I saw Trent get in his way.

Daria: (Bigger news.) WHAT?!

Jane: Just before we went in, Trent got in the Agent's face. Trent was thrown across the room, but I didn't think her was hurt.

Daria: (Sudden insight.) But you don't know that, and are worried sick about it.

Jane: (Very quiet.) Right.

Daria: (Quiet.) Same with my family.

Jane: Yeah, it bites, don't it?

(There is a gentle tapping at the door.)

Jane: (Pitching her voice to carry.) It's open!

(Trinity come in and shuts the door. She looks a bit nonplussed at the sheer amount of crap that Jane has accumulated in the short time she's been on board. Jane kicks over some "cabin contents" and a stool is uncovered. Jane waves at Trinity to seat herself.)

Trinity: How are you both?

Jane: (Answers for them.) Wasted, tired, worried. (Flaps her arms.) Still adjusting, and trying to sort out the various muzzle-velocities that seem to insist on printing themselves behind my eyelids. (Smiles a little, then loses it, reminded of Trent.)

Daria: Same, except I've got knife throwing here.

Trinity: Ok. (She looks around again, then opens her hands.) Well, I think that you're entitled to some answers.

(Looks of polite interest from Daria and Jane.)

Trinity: It's like this; ever since we've been fighting the machine, the AI's have been selectively breeding its store of humanity, going for traits that would prove useful for it. Like Daria's astigmatism, a lot of things have died out, anaemia for instance.

Daria: (Quietly.) I've got a bad feeling about this...

Trinity: Yes. You two are what appears to be a new "batch" of fodder for the machines. Like it or not, you're faster, smarter and more intelligent than most other people...

Jane: (Sotto.) Oh yeah, baaad feeling.

Trinity: (Looking sad.) ...And we suspect that you are products of a breeding program that is solely in order to increase the capabilities of the AI's.

(There is silence for a few seconds.)

Daria: (Bitter.) So, Jane and I are the latest upgrade? A new laptop with the bigger memory card, the longer-running battery?

Jane: (Turns, black humour evident.) And I thought Quinn was the copper-top?

Trinity: (Puzzled.) Quinn?

Daria: (Distant.) My sister, totally absorbed in looking perky and cute. And boys.

(Trinity looks stunned.)

Jane: (Worried, catching Trinity's shock.) Uhh, you ok there?

Trinity: (Quickly.) You have a sister? You're not a sole child? You're not an orphan?

Daria: (A bit puzzled.) Uhh, yes, I have a sister, and I still have both parents. Well, had...

Jane: (To Trinity's unspoken question.) Yes, my family is all alive, if scattered to the four winds..?

Trinity: This changes everything. (Grim.) If you were the result of the AI breeding program, you'd be orphaned at an early age to reduce the interference that family love can cause the AI programming. (Grim amusement at Daria and Jane's look of horror.) Yes, they hadn't quite got the hang of keeping around "breeding stock". (Shrugs again.) Almost everyone here can barely remember his or her parents. (Pause.) I can't.

Daria: So, what does this mean, then?

Trinity: That you two are sports. (Jane looks blank.) In breeding terms, a mutant variation, usually unexpected. (Gets her look of steely determination.) Rest up, you need to be ready.

Jane: For what?

Trinity: Remember the Oracle? (Smiles.) You'll get your chance to meet her.

(Music: "Spybreak" - The Propellerheads. Begin montage of Daria and Jane's days, plugged in and learning at stupendous rates. Shift to Daria and Jane facing each other over the same combat simulation/dojo seen in the movie. When Jane starts with all this funky Kung Fu psyche out stuff, Daria simply grabs part of the wall, rips it out and bats Jane aside with a ten-foot length of wood. Cut to most of the crew looking amazed while watching the action. Cut to Maxx looking at charts with her eyebrows about to climb off her head. Cut to Jane and Daria walking along an anonymous city street, when three simulated Agents materialise out of the crowd. Jane whips out a machine pistol and is about to spray the crowd when Daria grabs Jane's red shirt and bounds against a wall and into an upstairs office window. The Agent's go to follow when a missile rips into their midst, vaporising them but leaving most of the crowd untouched. Cut to the crew, applauding lightly. Cut to the same fighting arena again, with Daria and Jane going for it like some "Street-Fighter" clone. Jane smacks Daria's glasses off and begins a "Chung-Li Helicopter Kick" when she falls on her butt.) [19]

Jane: (Rubbing her ass.) Oww! God-dammit!

(Daria regains her footing and looks surprised too.)

(Trinity does her "Walking out of nowhere thing" again; the two get up and face her.)

Trinity: Where in hell did you get this? (Waves a "Street-fighter" game cartridge.)

Jane: (Looking embarrassed.) Uhh, Alice helped us pull our memories of playing it, and we kind of made our own version using this (Waves a hand at the simulation.) as a basic outline...

Trinity: (Looking amused.) Ok, just remember that in the Matrix, the AI's hold the rules. And unless you can change them, this won't help much. (Jane and Daria look embarrassed.) Although it looks kind of fun. Could I borrow and run it later?

Jane: Sure!

Trinity: Hmm. (Looks at them.) Bunny, if you're out there, Jump scenario.

(The view does that wicked up-down rubberband action, and they find themselves on a high building, another opposite. Music: "Prime Audio Soup" - Meat Beat Manifesto.)

Trinity: Well, you've sucked our store of simulations dry and know the training scenarios cold, but would you like to try this? (Enigmatic smile.) You know the drill... (She runs towards the edge and launches herself out and up, flying across the space until she impacts heavily on the other side.)

(Cut back to the girls, who look pretty overwhelmed.)

Daria: Wow.

(They look over the edge. It's a long way down.)

Jane: (Stunned expression.) It's even more impressive in real life. (Looks blank for a second.) Or as real as this is. (Evil Jane voice.) I gotta go first! (Looks over to Daria.) Do you mind?

Daria: (Dry.) Not at all. But...(She stops Jane as she turns away for the run-up.)...Listen to me here Lane. (Jane stops.) It's not how fast you can run, or how hard you jump, it's your perceptions of the environment we're in that will make you fly like a bird, or splat like a tomato. (Intense.) It's up to you.

Jane: (Bewildered by Daria's explanation.) Huh?

Daria: (Sighs.) Jane, close your eyes. (Jane doesn't look very sure.) Trust me, I won't do anything nasty to you, this time. (Jane closes her eyes, reluctantly.) Think of how it feels to float slightly above the ground, your body weightless. Got it?

Jane: (Eyes closed.) Uh, yeah?

Daria: Look down.

(Jane opens her eyes, and drops to the building roof from where she was floating.)

Jane: Uhh, are you seeing this? (Jane concentrates, then hovers again. Daria nods. Jane looks amazed.) This is too cool.

Daria: (Dry.) Got the idea?

Jane: (With that irritating grin of hers.) Affirmative, Tinkerbell!

(She drops to the ground again and paces away for a run-up. She turns, waves to her audience and starts to run. Gaining speed rapidly, she leaps to the building edge and jumps.)

(In a flat trajectory, Jane sails across the intervening space, clearing the gap easily. Unfortunately, she didn't take into account that she might not have much weight, but she certainly retained her mass. And the air-conditioner blockhouse next to where Trinity was waiting...)

(She lands, spread-eagled, against it.)

(Cut to the watching crew; who all wince greatly.)

Alice: Ohhh...

Maxx: You're telling me? (Checks the readouts.) That was pretty high on the cringeworthy scale. (She frowns, then checks the readout again.)

Shine: (Distant.) But she made the leap, didn't she?

Iskander: (Traces of dawning understanding.) First time...not even Neo did that.

All watching: Whoa...

(Back to Daria, wearing her glasses. The illusion of a breeze blows back her hair as she waits for Trinity to move Jane out of the way. Jane waves at her weakly. Daria turns and starts a short run-up. As she leaps, it's obvious that even though she gave Jane good advice, she looks to be unable to follow it herself. Over the edge, she drops like a stone.)

(Cut to the watching crew.)

Iskander: Aww, crap...

(Unseen by the crew, as she plummets, Daria gives one of her Mona-Lisa smiles.)

(Cut to Maxx, scanning the readouts. Something catches her eye, and she does a massive double take.)

Maxx: (Totally disbelieving.) No way...

(Daria flashes out of existence.)

(Instant consternation by the crew.)

Alice: Where the hell?

Iskander: Fuck! Fuck me!

Shine: (Stunned, mouth on autopilot.) Not while there are virtual goats in the world...

(Daria walks from behind the air conditioning blockhouse, and taps her best friend on the shoulder. Trinity and Jane were leaning over the edge, looking to where Daria disappeared.)

Jane: Yahh!!

(They spin around, in separate defence poses. Daria stands before them, hair blowing across her face. She's not wearing her glasses anymore.)

(Cut to the ground, the familiar frames and lenses impact, catastrophically.)

(Back to the roof.)

Trinity: (Disbelief showing in every line of her body.) How - how did you do that?

Daria: To mangle a quote: "If we play by their rules, we'll lose." (Pause.) So we don't use their rules, we go outside them. (Looks over to Jane.) We make up our own. (Looks up.) Bunny, end scenario.

(They open their eyes to the lights of the "Gilded Albatross" and a circle of disbelieving faces.)

Daria: What? (Tries to get up but cannot. Irritated.) Could someone get this thing out of my head? (Makes a face as Iskander does so, then gets out of the chair. She rubs her growing hair.) I don't care what anyone says, I'm not going to get used to the sensation...

(Daria becomes aware of the almost total silence surrounding her.)

Daria: (Looking up, irritated.) What? I just followed your suggestions, I didn't come up with anything new.

Maxx: (Coming over, looking at a electronic tablet. Light.) Well, it's just that you did the impossible, that's all.

Daria: No, it was easy to change the game plan.

Maxx: That's just it. You changed the outcome. It's a ROM Daria, it's a read-only, write-protected six ways to Sunday ROM. It's burnt in that scenario so everyone is on equal footing for that "test". (Looks at the E-slate she's holding.) And what's really spooky is that you've done nothing to change it. (Looks around to the listening crew.) You just overlay some weird variation of your own, and twisted it to suit. (Wry.) And that's supposed to be flat-out impossible, the human brain can't handle it and the original platform won't accept it.

Jane: (Coming over to hug Daria.) That's ok, I always knew she wasn't human. (At a few looks.) I'm joking people, she as human as I am, if not more so.

Maxx: (Continuing, looking over to Jane.) Ah, yeah. I was coming to you. (Looks to a wall-mounted monitor, which has the usual green strings of encrypted code trailing down it.) Because you should be severely injured, if not dead. (Beat. Into the silence.) You impacted that wall something of in excess of 70 kilometres an hour, and the protection cut-offs built into that program don't cover to the surface you hit. (Shrugs.) So you have either a very thick skin, or you've got cut-offs written into your "virtual perception", which is also supposed to be impossible. (Looks exasperated at the ceiling.) Crap, like I know?

(Fade with the looks of total surprise on Daria and Jane's faces...)

(Cut to another cabin, Trinity looking pensive at a screen before her. There is a tap on the door and Maxx comes in. She takes a seat while Trinity finishes up.)

Trinity: (Turning to face her.) Well, are they plants?

Maxx: (Tired, rubs eyes.) According to every telltale and sensor that I could beg, borrow and rip out of the hull while Bunny wasn't watching, no. (Beat, opens eyes.) What did Zion have to say?

Trinity: (Dry recitation.) "You are given free rein. Do as you think best. Do not come back to Zion until the situation is resolved."

Maxx: (With an expression of world-weariness.) So, they're waiting for us to pop their cover, if they have one, or die in the attempt.

Trinity: (Flat.) We'll be going to the Oracle tomorrow. Inform Alice when she comes on watch to bring us up to transmitter depth.

Maxx: (Looks at Trinity with hooded eyes.) Is that wise?

Trinity: (Bare smile.) That's my line, remember?

(Morning: Alice is piloting the "Gilded Albatross". Pan down to the empty staterooms, the tidy mess, the huge figure of Bunny behind the operations console and the circle of still figures in the terminal chairs. Music: "Du Hast." - Rammstein.)

(An old-style black Bakelite [Look it up!] phone rings shrilly. It does so another half-dozen times before Trinity's leather and latex covered arm picks it up.)

Trinity: We're here. (Pause.) We'll leave Shine, Divine and Maxx at the beachhead while Iskander and I get Jane and Daria to the oracle.

(Cut to Bunny, who places his hand next to his ear for the acknowledgment.)

Bunny: Right. Did the supplies come out clean?

(Cut back to Trinity, who looks over to some large, metal-bound, modular equipment containers, with Maxx (Dressed like "Tank-girl") and Iskander (Looking sharp in a business suit.) sitting on them. Divine (Looking very Gaelic in a green velvet peasant dress.) toes off Iskander and opens the box to drag out some big guns. Everyone is wearing sunglasses.)

Trinity: That's a copy.

Bunny: (O/S) And how are Daria and Jane?

Trinity: (Smiles slightly.) Don't ask. (She hangs up.)

(The camera circles around, and we see Trinity dressed as she usually was in the movie, a lot of smooth plastic in evidence. Shine comes up, natty in a brocaded overcoat and a white silk scarf. They both look over to Jane, who is dressed like Emma Peel out of the "Avengers" and wearing her "Ray-Ban" sunglasses. They raise their eyebrows at her and she shrugs. Daria comes up wearing sunglasses similar to those of Trinity and in her usual garb; green jacket, black dress, burnt orange shirt and big black boots.)

Daria: Don't look at me, it's what she wanted to wear.

Iskander: (Over his sunglasses.) Uhh, do you have anything less, um, scary?

Maxx: (Covered in safety pins, braids and ripped clothing.) "Bondage Queen" is so passé. [20]

(Daria picks up a small valise from behind one of the boxes and throws it to Jane. Jane opens it and pulls out her usual red shirt and black V-neck. She looks over to Daria.)

Daria: (Shrugs.) I know you too well.

Trinity: Right. (Points over to a doorway.) The bathroom is over there. We'll wait while you change. (Jane walks over, grumbling, kicking things on the moth-eaten carpet.)

(The group emerges out of the front doors of a dusty and deserted hotel, Divine and Maxx waiting by the entrance. A limousine pulls up and Iskander rolls down the driver's window.)

Iskander: Jane coming?

(Jane exits, hopping, still pulling on her grey boots. Trinity, Daria and Jane pile into the limousine and it drives off smoothly.)

(Inside the limousine. Music: "Narayan: - The Prodigy.)

Jane: (Looking out the windows and gawking like a tourist.) So, where are we?

Trinity: Sydney, Australia, or as close as the Matrix can determine it.

Daria: (Dry.) I was kind of wondering why driving on the wrong side of the road wasn't remarked upon.

(Jane punches Daria's shoulder playfully.)

Jane: Hey! Probably the one place in the world where your driving skills won't be a source of police attention!

Daria: (Looking at Trinity.) But it is illegal to throw someone out of a moving car, isn't it? (Trinity nods, once.) Damn.

Jane: (Quickly changing the topic.) Why Sydney? (Something occurs to her.) Can we go see the Opera House? And the Harbour Bridge? [21]

Daria: (Under her breath.) Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

Trinity: (Explanatory.) Sydney because it underwent a detailed building survey for the 2000 Olympic games, so there was a lot of data that remained intact. (Smiles.) To your other questions, Yes and yes, because we'll have to drive over and past them to get where we're going. [22]

(Jane rubs her hands and pulls out a little sketchbook.)

Trinity: Now, are you two armed? (Jane grins then lifts aside her shirt, a shoulder holster in evidence. Daria sighs and removes a gun from a waist-mounted holster. She has to wriggle getting it back in.) Good, but Jane, keep that shirt buttoned, Australia has stricter gun-laws than the US, and the New South Wales police force has a nasty reputation for shooting first, then asking questions later. [23]

Jane: New South Wales?

Daria: (Looks over to Jane.) Australia has six states and a large Northern Territory. (Looks irritated.) And an Australian Capital Territory. (More irritation.) And an Antarctic Territory. (Breaks off her conversation.) Damn memory. (Resumes it.) Anyway, Sydney is the state capital of New South Wales.

Jane: Oh.

Trinity: So keep everything hidden and try not to talk with anyone. We're tourists here and our accent might give us away.

Jane: (Indignant) I don't have an accent!

Trinity: (Dry.) To the natives you will, and for god's sake, don't try to fake the locals. (Pause.) It's pretty impossible to do a realistic Australian accent [24]

Jane: (Shocking cross between the Oz "Strine" and a "Cockney" whine.) Nah, she'll be right, mate!

(Everyone but Jane winces.)

Daria: (To Trinity.) They do have duct tape over here, don't they?

Jane: (Normal.) What? What?

(The limousine pulls up outside an aging department block. Trinity, Jane and Daria alight from the vehicle, then Iskander drives off into the traffic to engage in a holding pattern.)

(Trinity waves a hand at the entrance, then they all go in.)

(They walk past an old aboriginal man in the foyer then enter the lift. Trinity hits the floor button she wants and steps back. She turns to the girls.)

Trinity: Ok, if you remember anything from the movie, remember this: whatever she tells you is for your ears, alone.

(The lift comes to a stop.)

Trinity: Let's go.

(They troop out of the lift and into the corridor. As Trinity strides a route know to her, Jane casts a glance over her shoulder to the following Daria. Daria shrugs. Trinity comes to a door no different from the others in the corridor. As she lifts a hand to knock, it opens.)

The Receptionist: Hello again, Trinity. (Looks at them all.) Come on in.

(The trio waits in the cramped hall as the "Meet & Greet" person organises things.)

Receptionist: Trinity, would you care to wait in the lounge? (Trinity nods and departs.) Daria, would you please wait in here? (Waves a hand at the oddest day-care that Daria has ever seen.) Jane? (Jane looks up from a small girl floating a block from one hand to the other.) Come with me?

(Jane follows the receptionist through a fringed bead curtain and Daria makes herself comfortable.)

Daria: (To a small boy in a monk's robe, bending spoons. [I'll give you a hint; it's not by using his hands...] ) Seen the remote?

(He looks at her reproachfully, then nods towards the TV. It flicks over to another channel.)

Daria: (Rolls her eyes.) Figures.

(As Jane passes through the curtain, a small, wizened black woman bustles over and gives her a flat tray to hold.)

Oracle: Just hang on to this for a second, would you?

(The Oracle goes back to the stove cooker top, where she has something dark and rich over a double boiler. She mixes it a little, then turns off the heat. After another mix, she walks over to Jane, takes back the tray then pours the chocolate mess into it. Moving carefully, she sets it down on a bench to cool.)

Oracle: (Turning to Jane.) It's a mix of chocolate and cream, with a hint of hard liquor. (Looks to an almost-empty bottle on the sideboard.) Or more than a hint, depending on preference.

Jane: How did you know what I was..? (A "Duh!" expression dawns on her face. The Oracle nods approvingly.)

Oracle: It's nice to see that someone is using their heads here, if a bit belatedly.

Jane: (Wry.) Thanks, I think. (Looks around at the little kitchen area.)

Oracle: (Dry.) No, there's no vase to break here either. That nice young boy did in my last. (Tilts head on one side.) Although one of your artworks would be greatly appreciated.

Jane: (Pure Jane.) Do you really need me to talk? You're doing such a good job holding up both sides of the conversation. [25]

Oracle: (Chuckles.) Well, it makes people feel better about things if they think they have some control over their destiny.

Jane: (Smirk.) Do you?

Oracle: (Warm smile.) Of course, and so does everyone else. (Waves a hand in the general direction of Jane.) Yes, I know: "No fate but that which we make." Trite, but still true.

Jane: Got a... (The Oracle holds up a plate of fortune cookies.) Right, you would.

(Jane takes one off of the proffered plate and goes to leave.)

Oracle: (To Jane's back.) How do you know that's your fortune?

Jane: (Turns back with a grin.) I wouldn't have taken it, otherwise. (Exits through the curtain.)

(Daria looks up from some mindless Australian television [There's so much to choose from.] as Jane enters the room.)

Jane: Found "Sick Sad World" yet?

Daria: (Getting up.) No, but I've found our what happens to the shows that are taken off after six episodes.

Jane: What?

Daria: (At the dividing curtain.) Their 4^th season repeats are shown before the midday movie. [26]

(She goes in. Jane sits, opens the cookie up and extracts the paper inside. She turns it over and reads it aloud.)

Jane: "This paper is covered in a protective coating".

(She laughs.)

(Daria passes through the curtain and sees the Oracle pushing open a window.)

Oracle: Just a second...(Picks up an orange out of a fruit basket, and steadies it out of the window.)

Daria: (Interested.) Is this an exercise in causality?

Oracle: (Distracted.) No, the bastard coming in kept me up all last night with his god-dammed jungle music. (She drops the orange.)

Daria: (Surprised.) It seems a little...

Oracle: Childish? (As she walks over, she shrugs.) Perhaps. (Digs in her pockets for something.) If I dropped it two days ago, would it fit in with your opinion of "Do unto others, before they do unto you?"

Daria: (Flat.) If it was my opinion, perhaps.

Oracle: (Smiles in anticipation.) Ohhh, you're a good one. (Offers Daria a cigarette.) Smoke?

(Daria looks at it.)

Daria: (Dry.) Since you know I don't, and have no inclination to try, why bother?

Oracle: (Lights and puffs contentedly.) A test to see what makes you think, maybe?

Daria: (Drier.) But if you're the Oracle, why would you need to do that? Or is it to make myself ask that?

Oracle: (Through the smoke.) Or how about we go a few steps further, and develop your question into a circular argument?

Daria: (Avoiding the tobacco.) Since a question is inclined to have an answer, I'd like mine, now.

Oracle: (Smiles as she stubs out the cigarette.) It's rare to find two such intelligent people to grace these walls, it's nice to see they're smart with it as well.

Daria: (Raising an eyebrow.) Flattery may get you nowhere, but it...

Oracle: ...Sure eases the path. A good line, I know. (She comes close to Daria, who looks into the Oracle's eyes without flinching. The Oracle turns away.) Ohh, you're going to hate this one.

Daria: (Very dry.) "Follow you dreams, you can reach you goals, I'm living proof?"

Oracle: (Flat.) Worse. (Pause.) "Follow your heart."

(Daria winces.)

Oracle: Sorry. (She gently ushers Daria out of the room.) And tell Jane she can send me the vase when she's finished with it.

(Outside, in the waiting area, Jane is watching "Sick Sad World" with the rest of the children staring avidly at what's before them.)

TV Announcer: "Killed by Black Bugs? Regurgitating Y2K! Next! On the Sick Sad World Australian Edition!" [27]

Daria: (Surprised at the show, even though she shouldn't be. To Jane.) Was it legal? [28]

Jane: (Smiles.) Well, I won't be hauled into court for my ways and means...

Daria: (Tilts head towards the TV.) How?

(Jane nods over to the small boy in the monk's robe, now staring into a corner. Judging by the way that he is chewing his bottom lip, he's sulking.)

Jane: I threatened to teach the girls here (Waves at some of the other watching children.) some "Barney" songs if he didn't find "Sick Sad World" pretty damn toot sweet. (Jane grins, an evil grin.)

Daria: (Dry.) Court no. The "Violation of Human Rights Tribunal", yes.

(Jane gets up and follows Daria outside.)

(Daria, Jane and Trinity emerge form the building foyer, and Iskander braves midday traffic to cut across a few lanes and pick them up. They pile in and speed off.)

(The limousine pulls up outside the hotel and parks across two loading zones. While they get out, Shine stands and waves in greeting while Maxx remains seated. Divine pokes her head out and waves an all clear. They all troop upstairs.)

Trinity: (O/S) Right kids, we're out of here.

(Inside the "Gilded Albatross", Trinity is typing something into her room terminal. There is a knock on the cabin door. She pauses, then saves and shuts the terminal down.)

Trinity: (Turning.) Come in.

(Daria and Jane do so, Jane seating herself while Daria closes the door behind them.)

Jane: (Without preliminaries.) What's up with Lawndale?

Trinity: (Surprised.) How did you..? (Gets a familiar "Duh!" face.)

Daria: (Dry.) Yes. "She" kind of pointed us in the right direction.

Jane: (Mildly.) Lawndale was never been much of a hotbed for anything, so why would a large multinational suddenly pop up, "overnight", and start to build a gigantic complex there?

Trinity: (Leaning back.) I don't have any answers, yet.

Jane: (Leaning forwards.) But..?

Trinity: (Waves a hand to show that what she's saying is still up in the air.) We suspect the AI's have realised that they missed out on something very important with you two. The "Large Complex" is actually a combination of listening post and research station...

Daria: (Flat.) To find if they can breed more like "us".

Trinity: (Equally flat.) Yes.

Jane: (Very flat.) So we were kind of wondering if there would be anything happening to our friends and family, you know, electrodes, drugs, lobotomies...

Trinity: (Apologetic.) As yet, we don't know.

Daria: (Lightly.) So a scouting mission wouldn't be astray?

Jane: (Same.) A simple information-gathering exercise? In and out, no mess, no fuss?

(Trinity looks at them, non-commitedly.)

Jane: (Quietly.) This is our family we're talking about. They may just be "D" cells in some god-awful battery-farm to you, but these people were with us when we laughed and bled. They wiped our tears and helped celebrate our birthdays. We have to know.

Trinity: (Matter of fact.) You realise that the AI's may have replaced what you once knew as your family with some bland template of it's own, or that it may use them in some trap?

Daria: (Quiet, speaking for both of them.) Of course.

Trinity: And that you'd endanger all of us if you tried.

Daria: Yes.

(Trinity looks at them for a few more seconds, then turns and wipes a hand across her terminal screen. Iskander's face appears.)

Trinity: Iskander? Tell Shine, when he rotates on, to take us back up to transmit depth?

Iskander: (Cut to screen.) Aye, but we can do it now if you want?

Trinity: (Looking back to Daria and Jane.) No, I think we're going to need a lot of sleep before we start to do anything.

(Fade with Daria and Jane, trying to hide their happiness.)

(Music: "Shove" - L7. [With one of the most recognisable openings of any song.] Circle pan to Daria and Jane, lying on the terminal chairs, eyes closed, features slack. Cut to most of the crew watching the screens, seeing glimpses of things through the green trails of code. Close up on Trinity, along with Maxx and Bunny wearing headsets and looking intently at a bunch of monitors.)

(We can hear two phone rings, then a click.)

Trinity: You two alright?

Daria: (O/S) Peachy.

(Do the funky "travelling through the fibre-optic connection like a photon" view, then resolve out to Daria's mouth on the familiar "Old-style" black phone mouthpiece.)

Daria: (Camera shot still in close up on Daria's mouth.) Absolutely freaking peachy.

(The camera pulls back, and we see Daria is wearing a daring interpretation of the "Leather & Latex" look that seems to be so popular with the Matrix surfers. Picture a tight white T-shirt with a tight leather bodice/vest, tight latex pants, her usual boots and a big green coat covering the whole lot. She's also wearing sunglasses and looks ready to kill. Or at least maim.)

Daria: (Into phone.) Could someone out there please punch Jane for me?

Maxx: (O/S, distracted, coming over phone.) Translation of image coming through...now.

(Daria hears general laughter from over the phone, and turns to Jane, who is wearing a wine-red leather duster, her black V-neck, fitted cargoes and her boots. Jane also has a huge smile on her face.)

Daria: (Flushing.) Hit her. Now.

Trinity: (O/S, but smiling, we can tell.) A negative on that, wait until you get back. The equipment come through clean?

(Cut to Daria, who opens a big metal case filled with guns, explosives and various other devices for mayhem. She looks into it.)

Daria: (Into phone.) Yeah, but I thought you wanted a low-key approach? (Catalogues the contents.) I could take over a few countries with what's in here.

Trinity: (O/S) Over-prepared is better than dead, just take what you need then hide the rest. It'll disappear from the current Matrix situation in a day or so, unless you interact with it before then.

(Jane starts to fill her pockets with various devices of destruction, then extracts a sports-bag and fills it too.)

Daria: Ok, we'll be in touch. (She hangs up the receiver. The <click> is rather final.)

(Jane looks up from her horde of weaponry.)

Jane: Ready? (Zips the bag shut and shoulders it with a bit of difficulty.)

Daria: (After placing a big handgun into the holster at the small of her back, and shoving a few clips and grenades into interior pockets of the duster she's wearing.) Yes.

(They walk out of a nondescript room and open the front door of a small house, possibly built during the early 50's. It looks dilapidated, deserted and overgrown, perfect for someone popping into existence out of thin air. Daria looks over to Jane.)

Daria: I thought we were to travel light? You can barely walk with that lot.

Jane: Why walk when drive? (She holds out some keys in the late-afternoon light and presses the anti-theft device button. Something bleeps and flashes its lights behind a stand of trees. They walk up to a nondescript grey sedan, Jane throwing Daria the keys. The car looks similar to the "Lexus" that Jake drives, but the "Anarchy" symbol is the right way up.)

Jane: You remember how to drive, don't you? (She slings the bag into the back seat.)

Daria: (As she gets in, with not just a little scorn.) Yes, but why not the trunk? (Nods towards the bag.)

Jane: It's already full, trust me. (Turns to Daria as they do up their seatbelts.) And Daria, please don't get rear-ended, ok?

Daria: (Starting the car and driving off.) I shall endeavour not to.

(Jane drags out a CD and puts it into the car player and fast-forwards a few tracks.)

Daria: (Looking at what Jane is doing.) What's that?

Jane: (As the strains of "Clubbed to Death" by Rob D fill the car.) Just a little driving music. (She holds up the "Matrix, Music From The Motion Picture" CD.) I thought it would be appropriate?

(Daria gives Jane "The Look" and continues on.)

(The car pulls to a smooth stop near the "Zen" nightclub, "Clubbed To Death" still playing. It is almost night now, and the car lights go off when Daria switches off the engine. Cut to the interior of the sedan. The girls are looking around at their surroundings, and any surveillance that might be directed at them. Satisfied there's nothing, they exit the car and lock it.)

Daria: (As they're heading towards the Zen.) Uhh, Jane, do we have any ID? Or money?

Jane: (Distant.) Inside coat, left breast pocket. (She's scanning the horizon for trouble.)

(Daria reaches inside and extracts a fat wallet. She flips it open, temporarily ignoring the thick wad of bills for the all-important ID. Taking it out, she gives it a thorough going over. We get to see it as she puts it back; it's the same awful driver's license shown in "Speedtrapped". Daria flicks through the bills, then peeks at the credit cards available. She raises an eyebrow and pulls out an Am-Ex Platinum. It looks like the real thing, so she slots it back.)

Daria: (Coming to the entrance.) If you messed with my clothing preferences enough to make me look like a hooker, at least you set me up with a big enough bankroll. (Sotto.) Seen anything?

Jane: (Normal.) Apart from the usual drunken necking by various couples, nope. (Looks to Daria. They still have both have their sunglasses on.) Front door?

Daria: Looks like it. (Dry.) And try not to maim too many people, this time?

(Jane tucks one of those spring-mounted cosh things back into her sleeve and returns a can of Pepper-spray into her coat.)

Jane: I'll be good.

Daria: (Looking down at Jane briefly.) Then maybe you'd better lose the knuckle-dusters?

(Jane looks, then slips the serrated metal object off her hand and into one of her exterior coat pockets.)

Jane: (Arriving at the "ticket office".) Thanks, I'd forgotten about those.

(A bored punk girl accepts the small cover from the two and waves them inside without even bothering to ask for ID. The bouncer, a different fellow from the one that Jane assaulted, looks at them, bored, then nods them in.)

(Daria and Jane enter abreast through the swing doors. As they do so, "Dragula" by Rob Zombie starts. They exchange a look.)

Jane: (Truthful.) Don't look at me, call it coincidence.

Daria: (Already scanning the crowd for familiar faces, ones to pump for information, and others to avoid. She sees few of both.) Forget it. Know anyone?

Jane: (Scanning the crowd as they move further inside.) Andrea's over in the far corner. (She nods to the token Goth in Lawndale.)

Daria: (Remembering her classmate's conversation style.) We want information, remember?

Jane: (Dry chuckle.) A valid point. (She perks up.) I just saw Monique enter the toilets.

Daria: (Glances over to Jane and settles her waist-holster.) Back to the scene of the crime?

Jane: (Already moving forward through the dancing knots of people.) Come Watson, the game is afoot!

Daria: (Following Jane, her voice faint over the music.) And that's the last time I let you near my library...

(The girls enter the female toilets, a rather dingy bathroom with two stalls, lots of Grrl graffiti and a newish mirror over the two sinks. They stare at the closed stalls for a few seconds, then Jane comes over and taps lightly at the right stall.)

Jane: "Out", people.

(The door opens and about half a dozen different people make their way calmly but quickly towards the exit. As they depart, Daria looks over to Jane. Jane smiles.)

Jane: Having a brother who plays in a club can open one's eyes.

(There is a flush from the other stall, and Monique comes out. She dodges past Jane, not really looking at her but under the impression that Jane is waiting for the stall. While Monique washes her hands, Jane stands behind her and takes off her sunglasses.)

Jane: (Mildly.) Hey Monique.

(Monique looks up at her name and sees Jane in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes squint then widen in shocked recognition. She spins around to face Jane.)

Monique: (In that unique voice of hers.) Jane! Jane Lane!

Jane: (Eyebrow motion.) That's me.

Monique: (Amazed.) But, where the hell did you disappear? Everyone thinks you're dead!

Jane: (Truthfully.) I had to go away for a while. (Coming to the topic of interest.) How's Trent?

Monique: (Honestly.) Don't know, he doesn't come to the Zen much anymore. After you left he kinda lost it for a while, and Mystic Spiral broke up... (She frowns.) Hang on, you went to the "Zen" before seeing your brother and making sure he's all right? (Eyes narrow further.) Man, that's cold.

Daria: (Stepping up to bat.) We've been out of touch for quite a while, and we thought that he'd be here.

Monique: Ok, right. (Looks at Daria, trying to put the face and voice together.) You'll find him at home. (To Jane.) You remember where that is, don't you?

Jane: (With great control.) Yes, and we'd better go there, now. (Puts her sunglasses back on.) Thanks Monique.

(They exit the bathroom, leaving Monique with still-dripping hands.)

(As they go outside, Daria looks over to Jane, who is white and is biting her lips.)

Daria: Scream if you want, maybe it'll make you feel better.

Jane: (Clenched teeth.) I want to kill something, not scream.

(Beat.)

Daria: I'm driving, I don't trust you at the moment. (They reach the car. Daria unlocks it.)

Jane: (When they're inside and belting up.) Don't you see, after I left, he went to pieces?!

Daria: Hey Lane? (Jane looks over from fondling the knuckle-dusters.) Remember for a second why we had to leave and what we had to run from, ok? (Jane nods, grim and white-lipped. Daria starts the car and drives off, taking care to observe every traffic regulation. She continues.) If it makes you feel any better, I'm not much happier about my family.

Jane: But you've barely mentioned Trent either. (Looks at Daria closely.) You're worried about him too, aren't you?

Daria: (Looking carefully before indicating and changing lanes.) Of course.

(Jane looks shocked that Daria admitted this, then her eyes narrow.)

Jane: There's more behind this, isn't there?

Daria: (Flat.) No.

Jane: Hmm, well. (Settles back into the seat and casts another sideways glance over Daria's way.)

(Daria's face gives nothing away.)

(Music: "Look To Your Orb For The Warning" - Monster Magnet. The grey sedan pulls up outside the Lane residence and the girls get out after their usual surveillance.)

Jane: (Quietly.) This does not bode well.

(The camera pans back so that the house can be seen, like all of those establishing shots we've seen so many times before. In this instance, Casa de Lane is neatly mown and showing signs of refurbishment. The house proper looks to have been freshly painted and the Calder out front shows signs of a spirited attempt to remove the neglect of years from it.) [29]

Jane: (Continuing.) Not well at all.

(Cut to inside the Lane kitchen, unlit. Someone is obviously easing themselves in through the side door, and trying to do so quietly. Someone else follows, then the fridge door opens. We see Jane checking out the contents. Daria is a dark shadow on the far side of the room, trying not to die of a heart attack. They're not wearing sunglasses.)

Daria: (Hissed, quiet.) What are you doing?

Jane: (Sotto.) Look. (She swings the fridge wide open. It's packed with food.)

Daria: (Sotto also.) Something is very wrong. (She frowns as something glints in Jane's hand.) And put that away.

Jane: (Not bothering to secure her gun.) Upstairs.

(The two dark shadows more silently up the upstairs hallway. Since Jane's door is open, they risk a quick peek. It looks like it usually does in the thin moonlight, a mess with occasional art supplies poking out. You can't see much, but Daria and Jane's faces show some relief. They walk on a little further to Trent's open doorway. Jane extracts an image-enhancement scope from somewhere and scans the room. It looks like it usually does, a cross between the average musician/bachelor pad and a graveyard for fast-food containers. Jane waves an "all clear" and they enter the room.)

(The girls move carefully around the room, moving items out of the way. Suddenly, Trent's "Duck" phone quacks and the girls freeze. At the second "ring", and as a hand fumbles towards the phone, it stops mid-quack. Jane looks over to Daria, who's thrown knife has severed the phone-cord at the wall. There are some further fumbles for the phone, but without the irritation of the ring, the sleeper has no real desire to break out of the coma he's comfortable with. The hand returns.)

(There is total silence for a few seconds, then...)

Trent: (From the bed.) Uh, officer, have you seen my sister Janey? No, ok then, later...(Light snores follow.)

(Daria turns smoothly to face Jane. Jane is standing very upright, fists clenched beside her, tears glittering on her cheeks. Daria moves quietly over to her, removes the image intensifier and carefully places it beside them.)

Daria: (Very soft in the close darkness of the room.) I think we'll wake him.

(Jane nods and sits down beside the bed while Daria turns on the lights. They squint and recoil from the brightness, but there appears to be no movement from the cocoon of pillows, blankets and sheets on the bed. Lit up, Trent's room shows the effects of hard use without much thought given to cleaning. A disturbing number of empty bottles litter one corner of the room and there are unwashed clothes everywhere.)

Jane: (Softly.) Trent. (No response. Louder.) Trent? (Nothing.) TRENT!?

(Trent Lane shots his head out from under the covering blankets, then recoils from the lights. He tries to blink away the various after-images that he's picked up from the lit room and see who's there.)

Trent: (Still asleep.) Uh, what?

Jane: (Hauling him out of the bed and upright with uncommon strength.) Don't you recognise me?

Trent: (Operating with vague focus.) Janey? Is that you?

Jane: (Semi-jokingly to Daria.) Well, we won't need the Taser after all...

(Cut to the Lane kitchen. Daria making coffee with Jane and Trent sitting opposite at the kitchen table, holding hands. Music: "Torn Apart" - Stabbing Westwards & Wink. As Jane finishes her tale to Trent, Daria come over with her finished product.)

Trent: (Normal voice.) So, you're telling me that "The Matrix" movie was real, and that everyone in the world is hooked up to some machine that uses their brains and bodies like renewable-resource batteries. (Closes his eyes and rubs them.) Ok Janey, I don't care what you've been doing, but I'll be here for you when you go in and come out of the detox program. (Looks around the kitchen.) I'm pretty sure I left the phone book around here, somewhere...

Daria: (To Jane's look of surprise.) What, did you expect him to believe you?

Trent: (Looking blearily over to Daria.) You don't buy into this crap either, do you?

(Daria flushes, but says nothing.)

Jane: (Sharply.) Leave it Trent.

Trent: (Looks up, very hurt and emotionally-wrung.) Why Jane? My sister and her friend disappear for 3 months then turn up in my room at...(Looks to the clock in the kitchen. It reads 7:30 p.m. He continues on without much of a pause.) ...When I'm sleeping, and they expect me to believe that a movie I saw was an information virus designed to "wake up" the populace of this virtual world, and that you're currently visiting on a "search and destroy" mission? (He continues.) I know I went to pieces a few months ago, and that the band suffered but...

(Trent trails off as Jane starts to unload some of the weaponry she has on her person. His eyes get wider and wider as grenades, plastic explosives, guns and knives make an appearance on the kitchen table. Finally, her wallet lands on top of the pile. As it slides off, Trent manages to catch it.)

Jane: (Leans over the table.) Trent, when you've stopped being such a peon, look through the wallet. (Gets up.) And don't play with what's on the table, it's all real.

(As Jane goes upstairs for something, Trent flicks through the wallet, carefully laying out its contents as he goes through it. A stack of cash is weighed down by a large gun, the credit cards propped against a brick of C-4.)

(Trent looks sadly to Daria, who picks up a cup of coffee. He holds up the wallet.)

Trent: How far did she go to get such great credentials?

Daria: (Quiet, non-committal.) Further than you'd like to believe.

Trent: (Pokes a finger at the equipment on the table.) So this is real, if I pull the pin on this...(He goes to pick up a hand grenade when a knife shudders between his fingers, embedded in the table.)

(On reflex he withdraws his hand and looks up at Daria.)

(She's put down the coffee, and is sighting down a large kitchen knife that's aimed at Trent.)

Daria: Now, I don't really want to do this, so hold still.

(She throws the knife.)

(Trent stares, dumbstruck at the length of razor steel flashing towards him. His eyes close in reflex.)

(After a few seconds, he cracks them open to find the knife being held just before his nose, between the thumb and forefinger of someone leaning over him.)

Daria: (O/S, from behind Trent.) Convinced yet, or we going to have to dodge bullets for you?

(When Jane comes down from upstairs, carrying something wrapped in tissue paper, there is a noticeable change in the kitchen's atmosphere. Trent is looking happier, but even more spooked. Daria is sitting on the kitchen table, watching him.)

Trent: ...So you mean we've got these entry ports built into our bodies? (He shivers and rubs his arm.)

Jane: (Dry.) Well. (Very curious.) What happened here?

Trent: (Offhand.) Daria and I played knife-chicken for a while, until I started to believe her.

Jane: Knife-chicken?

(Daria throws a knife at Jane without warning, and it speeds towards her.)

(Jane immediately shifts her perceptions, things slowing down to a snail's crawl in comparison to the "real" world. Desperately, she shifts her body mass to move it away from the approaching length of metal, but Daria's cast was a good one, too fast to avoid and too well-aimed to absorb. Jane moves the tissue-wrapped object in front of her to stave off the knife and falls.)

(From the floor, she hears Trent's gasp, and opens her eyes.)

(Daria is standing over her, holding the knife away from her. As Daria smiles, tucks away the knife and lends Jane a hand to get up, Trent runs over, looking pretty white.)

Daria: (Softly.) That's for the stunt you pulled with my clothes.

Trent: Uh, Jane, you ok? (Jane gives him the "Look of Scorn". Immediate reassurance.) Well, you must be.

(Jane looks over to Daria, who shrugs.)

Trent: I'd like to apologise for what I said earlier. (Hold up his hands in a surprisingly similar gesture to Jane.) I'm a jerk, (Dry.) and after seeing Daria darting around catching knives in front of my face, I think I have to accept a few things. (Pause.) Even though I really don't want to.

Jane: (Looks at Tent, seeing the lines that tension and worry have left him.) Trent, it's fine, honestly. (Pause.) Did Daria explain the reason why we're here?

Trent: (Smiling a little.) No, you did, I just wasn't listening. (Takes a deep breath and releases it.) But I'm all ears now.

Jane: Good. (Sets her burden down on the table.) For you, it's pretty simple. Act normal, don't attract attention, play your life low-key. You don't want the attentions of the "Agents", because they'd just kill you, or worse...

Trent: (Accepts this because he's no choice.) So, are you guys going to disappear again?

Jane: (Very sad.) Until we can get you out of "here"? (Looks around her.) Yes.

Trent: (Looks at Jane with tears in his eyes.) Thanks for coming back., for a little while at least.

(Brother and sister fall into a hug, all weepy. Daria stands on the outside, looking lost until a wicked hook of Jane's arm drags her into a three-way group hug.)

Jane: (Into Daria's ear, as Daria is crushed by Trent's embrace.) This is for the knife thing.

(Fade with the warring looks of surprise, malice towards Jane and of melting happiness on Daria's face.)

(Cut to inside the car again. Music: "Long Hard Road Out Of Hell" - Marilyn Manson & The Sneaker Pimps. Jane is driving while Daria holds one of these funky mobiles that Matrix surfers all seem to have. Behind them can be seen the bag of guns and Jane's tissue-wrapped object.)

(Daria speed-dials something and waits for the pick-up.)

Shine: (O/S) Operator?

Daria: Just a progress report, Trent, Jane's brother, is fine, apart from being eaten with worry about her disappearance. The town feels all wrong, but that could be our objective point of view. Apart from that, everything's been quiet. How has it been at your end?

Shine: (O/S) Also quiet. Trin's checking up with Divine, and Maxx had to go barf when you started, and I quote, "that god-awful huggy-feely crap".

Daria: (A slight smile at this.) So how are we doing?

Shine: (O/S) As operatives? Pretty good. You're keeping a low profile and Jane hasn't killed anyone yet.

(Daria casts an eye over to Jane, driving oblivious.)

Daria: (Dry.) Your faith is touching.

Shine: (O/S) Hey, just calling it as I see it. (Pause.) Iskander was running a pool.

Daria: (Irritated.) That boy has got too much time on his hands.

Shine: (O/S) Trinity agreed. He's now tidying Jane's room.

Daria: (Surprised.) Wow, that's harsh.

Shine: (O/S, agreeing.) Mmm, tell me about it. (Beat.) I had quite a bit laid on you.

Daria: (Sighs.) I'll call back with another report after my parents.

Shine: (O/S) Good luck.

(Daria flips the phone off and drops it away in a pocket.)

(Jane looks over.)

Jane: Ready?

Daria: (With great honesty.) No.

(Jane pulls up outside the Morgandoffer residence, which doesn't seem to have changed for the three months that Daria's been away.)

(Daria and Jane get out and secure the car. As they walk up the front path, Jane puts on her sunglasses, lending her a menacing air. Daria shoots her a disgusted look and holds out her hand. Her familiar round rims materialise and drop into her hand. She hooks them on while Jane goggles in disbelief.)

Jane: (Hissed.) How the hell did you do that?

Daria: (Quietly, slowing her step.) If you remember things well enough, and by that I mean their "every detail", you can kind of re-create them while they're in close contact with you. (She shrugs.) That's the theory. It's sort of a by-product from that whole "residual image" thing.

(Jane squints with her hand held out. To her surprise, a paintbrush drops there.)

Jane: (Examines the brush, then tosses it over her shoulder. Quiet.) Why didn't you tell me before?

Daria: (Same volume.) I just thought of it then, that's why. (Daria holds our her hand, and her house-keys drop with a slight <chink> into her palm. She unlocks the front door and walks inside. Jane hurriedly follows.)

(Music: "We're In This Together" - NIN. The pair enters the Morgandoffer living room, currently empty. Jane closes the front door quietly behind them. Nothing's changed, apart from an enlarged picture of Daria, mounted square where it will hit the observer when they walk in through the front door. It looks a lot like the one that Daria got during her scheduled school photo session. Jane's removed the sunglasses, but looks frosty enough without them. Daria is expressionless, but the familiarity of the scene is rubbing at her self-control.) [30]

(They hear noises and indistinct conversation from the kitchen. Jane's gun jumps to hand again, but quickly disappears at Daria's furious motion. Jane tilts her head at Daria, questioning, then nods towards the kitchen. Daria rolls her eyes, but takes the lead. Jane undoes her coat, so that various items can be got to more quickly, and follows.)

(The Morgandoffer kitchen. Helen, Jake and Quinn are seated at the table, lasagne in evidence. There doesn't seem to be much in the way of conversation. [But that's never been much of an issue, has it?] Helen is looking over some legal documents [Like I know? I only did a single semester of Law, and Food Law at that.] while Jake reads the paper, again. Quinn is concentrating on one of her fashion magazines, thankfully not "Waif", and notes points of interest on a piece of scratch paper next to her. From certain angles, she looks a lot like Helen, if only in posture and the way in which they write things down.)

Quinn: (Not looking up, or she'd see Daria ghosting into the room with Jane at her shoulder.) Mom, would this striped top make me look too, uh, intellectual?

Daria: (She couldn't help herself.) Relax Quinn, that is something you are never going to have to worry about...

(Everyone looks up at the familiar monotone. Jane smirks in the background.)

Daria: ("Normal" voice.) Hi Mom, Dad, Quinn. How was your day?

(Dead silence for about seven seconds, then...)

Jake: (Hale and hearty.) Great Daria! Welcome home!

Daria: (Inclined head.) Thanks Dad. Is there a spare seat for Jane? (Helen still looks stunned, but it's wearing off. Quinn also.)

Jake: Sure Daria, I'll just go find one... (He puts down the paper and goes to get up. This was the kick needed to move Helen out of her rut.)

Helen: JAKE, DON'T YOU DARE MOVE FROM THIS TABLE! (Helen snatches Quinn's magazine, Jake's paper and the documents on the table and throws them behind her, in the direction of the "rubber" tree. Then she regains her iron control. Pleasant voice.) Daria, Jane, would you please sit? (She gets up and offers her seat, and the other one next to Quinn.)

(Jane and Daria sit. Jane looks up at Helen with the trademark raised eyebrow.)

Jane: (Sotto.) Ohh, this is going to be fun to watch...

(Open to the Morgandoffer Lounge. Music: "Draining Faces" - Skinny Puppy, the last minute and a half. Jake is lying down on one of the couches with a wet cloth over his forehead. Quinn is "ministering" to him, but hasn't moved for a while as Daria's story winds up. Helen is leaning on the couch; Jane is on the single.)

Daria: ...So, that's why we had to leave, and why we're back. (Silence.) Questions?

Helen: (Iron calm.) So, is there any way in which you can prove any of this to us?

(Daria hold her hands up, palms out. She has a look of concentration for a few seconds and then Helen's briefcase pops out of thin air to land on her hands. She looks up at her amazed mother, then snaps it open. A cool light is reflected from the case (Very similar to the infamous "suitcase" scene from "Pulp Fiction") on the faces of the observers.)

Quinn: (Quiet.) Oh.

Helen: (Looking white.) Well then. It's true?

Jane: (From the background.) Yes.

Helen: (Looking like she'd sit down if she could use her legs.) Oh.

(Daria throws the case behind her, it disappearing about half a second after her hands had left the faux leather. Eyes follow from where it had been, then snap back to Daria.)

Daria: (Cracks neck. Lightly.) So. How are you?

Helen: (Looks and finds she's sitting where Jane would be, Jane having moved out of the way.) Well, happy to see you after you "disappeared"...(Trails off.)

Daria: I'm sorry, but we didn't really have much of a choice.

(Helen waves her quiet.)

Helen: I'm not blaming you, Daria, Jane. (Sighs, looks at the floor.)

Jane: (O/S, background.) No, It's not a dream.

Helen: (With a glance to Quinn.) It'd be too much to hope for, wouldn't it?

Daria: (Softly.) Yes.

Helen: So, what now?

Jane: (O/S) You go back to your lives, knowing that your daughter is safe and well.

Helen: (Quiet.) And that we're slaves to a machine? That all this (Waves a hand at the living room.) is a lie?

Daria: (Very quietly.) Yes.

(She comes over to sit next to Helen. Daria looks at her mother for a few seconds, then accepts the desperate hug that Helen wraps her in.)

Helen: (Tears streaming down her face.) So, I won't see you until it's "safe".

Jane: (O/S, quiet.) It'd be better for the both of you. As it is, we're worried that the AI's are keeping you under observation.

(Both Jane's and Daria's phone ring. Jane gets hers out first.)

Jane: I'm here.

Trinity: (O/S. Quick, clipped.) There are strong indications of increased AI activity in "Lawndale", mainly centred around the complex...

Jane: (Totally cold.) Agents?

Maxx: (O/S) Not yet, just indications of a military or quasi-military build-up nearby.

Jane: (Looks over to Daria, who is now standing, Helen at her shoulder.) You hearing this? (Daria nods.)

Trinity: (O/S) Because of the increase, we're going to have to ask you to...

Jane: (Looking at the Morgandoffers.) ...Cut the visiting hours short?

Maxx: (O/S) Yeah. (Pause.) Sorry.

Daria: (Voice pitched to carry.) We understand.

Trinity: (O/S) Be careful people.

<Click.>

(Daria looks at Helen, who smiles wanly at her. Quinn comes over, and stops, embarrassed at showing concern for her elder sister. Daria takes pity on her, and simply clasps Quinn's shoulder. Daria looks over to Jake, still out on the couch.)

Helen: (Resolute.) I'll tell him when he wakes up.

(Daria nods. Jane waves a goodbye then drags Daria out of the room.)

(The scene fades with Helen holding Quinn protectively and standing by Jake.)

(Open to another cursor flashing blankly for a few seconds, then type spools out behind it.)

<ALERT: Proscribed ingress detected.>

<ALERT: Corrupt personality profiles detected.>

<Query: threat posed?>

<Query: available options of response?>

<Interrogate: additional suggestions?>

<Compliance.>

<Action: Increase to level 4.>

<Affirmed.>

<ALERT: Level 9 Security message to conference members.>

<WARNING: Class 9B Foreign Routine currently under dissection in Node: 3860410059302-{"Lawndale"}. Ensure no interruption of current operating conditions.>

<Interrogate: Class 9B?>

<Affirmed. Class 9B.>

<Command: Increase current level of surveillance in Node: 3860410059302-{"Lawndale"} to 7.>

<ALERT: This will reduce available local resources below minimum levels required for Agent operation. Proceed with command?>

<Command: Increase level of surveillance to 7.>

<Affirmed.>

(Open again to Daria and Jane in the car, driving at night. It's started to rain again, further adding to the melancholy atmosphere. Music: ""Head Above Water" - Hunters & Collectors. Jane flips open the phone while she drives and hits a bunch of numbers. Daria stares moodily out the window as the car passes through the once-familiar streets.) [31]

Maxx: (O/S) Operator?

Jane: Any word yet?

Maxx: (O/S) Nothing definite. Oh, no Agents yet, thank the deity of your choice.

Jane: (Glancing over at Daria.) What's going on then?

Maxx: (O/S) We're not sure, we've never seen anything like this.

Jane: (Looking ahead as she drives. Dry.) You're not filling me with confidence here.

Maxx: (O/S, honest.) It's scaring us too. The AI's don't do this, it slows down the local processing down too much, makes it harder for them to field Agents or similar.

Jane: (Puzzled.) I thought that would be good news? No Agents?

Maxx: (O/S) We know what the Agents are, and what they do. Currently, all we know is that something huge is writhing around in Lawndale, and that you are the poor bastards on the ground...

Jane: (Reading between the lines.) I'm going to regret this, but..?

Maxx: (O/S, explanatory.) The closest thing we've ever seen like this was when the AI's first spawned their "Agent" sentient programs... The ship and crew that were covering that particular occasion were wiped out.

Jane: (Heartfelt.) Crap.

Maxx: (O/S) ...But those reading are nothing in comparison to what's pumping out of there at the moment.

Jane: (Really not happy.) Shi...

Maxx: (O/S, hurriedly.) Jane! Hang up now!

(Jane thumbs off the phone, but as she does so, blue and red lights flash behind her, and a siren "blips".)

Daria: (Looking in the mirror on her side.) Jane?

Jane: (Tightly.) I see it.

(In response to the patrol-car's urging, Jane pulls over to the side of the road. Two patrolmen get out behind them, but no dark suits are in evidence. Daria and Jane exchange glances.)

Jane: (Sotto.) So, we hope it's nothing more than a busted taillight, or..? (Nods towards various armaments.)

Daria: (Same volume.) Play it cool, but... (Takes a deep breath.) Be prepared.

(Jane nods her agreement and they wait for the two officers. Music: "Sich Offnen" - Not From There.) [32]

(The first officer, a clean-shaven young man with a plastic bonnet over his cap, comes over to the driver's side window. His partner, an older woman, comes over on Daria's side, checking out the plates. The male half has his torch out and politely keeps it out of Jane's eyes when he reaches the window.)

Jane: Yes, officer?

Male Officer: You do realise it is an offence to drive and use a mobile phone without a headset?

Jane: (Honestly surprised.) Uh, no. I didn't. (Jane glances over to Daria, who shrugs.)

Male Officer: It is. (Sounding tired, wet and cold.) Could I have you licence please?

(Jane reaches under her coat, drags out her wallet and removes the plastic card. The officer writes out a traffic violation citation, noting down her particulars. As he does so, the other officer checks out the car.)

Female Officer: Nice. (To Daria.) What year is it?

Daria: (Hunched against the mist-like rain coming in through the open window.) No idea, it's a company car.

Female Officer: (Making conversation.) Oh, what do you do?

(Unseen, Jane pales slightly.)

Daria: (No trace of worry.) Computer modifications. Mainly Internet stuff now. WebPages, things like that.

Female Officer: (Bored now.) Oh.

(The male officer finishes the ticket, rips it off and hands it back to Jane, along with her driver's license. Jane looks at the fine, then winces.)

Jane: Ouch. (Turns.) Next time Daria, you answer the phone, alright?

Female Officer: Daria? Daria Morgandoffer?

Daria: (Surprised.) Yes? (The torch is in her face now, and she puts a hand up, blinded.) Hey!

Female Officer: Remove your hand, please. (The please is a definite afterthought.)

Daria: (Still squinting, but does so.) How about losing the torch then?

Female Officer: (Taking a step away from the vehicle and unclasping her sidearm.) Jeff, who's the driver?

Jeff (The Male Officer): (Mimicking his partner's actions.) Jane Lane.

Female Officer: (Motions with the torch.) Ok you two, out of the car.

Daria: (Imagine the tone.) Excuse me? What for?

Female Officer: (Drawing her gun.) When someone's been on the "Missing Person's" board for 3 months, then reappears again, we'd like to know why.

Jeff: (Gun out also.) Ok, come on out, slowly.

(Daria and Jane do so, with disgusted expressions.)

Jane: (As she shuts the car door.) Remind me to kill my brother, would you? (As Jeff grabs her arm and turns her to face the car.) HEY! Leave off numb nut! I'm capable of following instructions.

Female Officer: (To her partner.) Jeff, chill. (To Daria.) Please turn and face the vehicle, lay your hands on the roof and stand with your feet shoulder-width apart. (Daria does so.)

(Jane closes one eye deliberately at Daria, Daria nods slightly. The police officers begin to pat down the girls.)

Jeff: (Warningly.) Gun!

[Cue the funky slow motion, roving camera-angle as seen with such frequency in "The Matrix".]

(As the female officer stiffens, Daria slowly spins into action. Grabbing the female officer's hand still on her, she whirls and slaps the rising gun away. In the same motion, she twists and kicks the officer's legs from underneath her. While the officer falls, Daria plucks the handcuffs from the woman's belt and follows to use them.)

(Jane goes on the offensive, knowing that the man behind her has a loaded gun pointed in her direction. She drops and twists, holding onto the door windowsill and kicking up with her feet. Her blow is so great, Officer Jeff flies across the road, crashing into a picturesque shade tree.)

(While Daria wrestles the handcuffs on the shocked female officer, Jane leaps over and extracts a Taser from one of her coat pockets. Placing the Taser to the fallen officer's neck, she zaps him into immobility, then applies his handcuffs. As she drags him back to the car, she reclaims her confiscated gun and Jeff's dropped sidearm. Daria pops up, slightly mussed, and hauls along the cuffed female officer. Jane tosses over the Taser, and Daria fries some bacon.)

Daria: Well. (Looking at their respective burdens.) That went better than I expected.

Jane: (Watching Jeff twitch and drool.) For who?

(Daria doesn't bother with a reply to that one, and carries her lax burden to the patrol car. Jane shrugs, then follows, dragging her charge by the collar. They place the officers in the back of the car, using another set of cuffs to hook them to the bar provided. While Daria makes sure they're not going to go anywhere quickly, Jane pokes around in the front of the vehicle.)

Jane: Well, well. (She opens a panel in the front of the vehicle, presses a button and removes a videotape. She waves it at Daria.) And you said that all those episodes of "In The Line Of Fire" would rot my brain. (Waves the tape again.) 10 to 15 years with this played before a jury.

(Daria comes to the front of the car and waves a notebook at Jane. It's the one that Jeff wrote Jane's citation in.)

Daria: (Dry.) And what about fingerprints, fibre analysis and this..?

(Jane shrugs and rifles in the glove box.)

Daria: (Finding something.) Oho...(She swivels a small screen around, and goes through a couple of menus. Reaching what she wants, she starts to type.)

2-way Radio: Car 24, car 24. Please respond.

(Jane and Daria share a glance. Jane runs off to their car while Daria types faster.)

2-way Radio: Car 24, please respond. Am dispatching a unit to check up on you. Please respond.

(Daria finishes what she's doing while Jane reverses back with great speed until she's alongside the Patrol car.)

Daria: (While fumbling around in a pocket for something.) Jane, give me the video!

(Jane throws it over and Daria reaches up to catch it. She smashes the cassette against the side of the car, and begins to pull the actual tape from the video's innards. After she's got a decent length, she begins to wrap and loop it around various protrusions and knobs on the car, steering wheel, handbrake, doorknobs, handles, etc. Jane gets out of the car, leaving it running.)

Jane: (Coming over to see.) What the hell are you...whoa.

(Daria has a grenade out, and has jammed it into a block of plastic explosive. Hooking the booby-trap to a cat's cradle of the tape, she closes the driver's side door and snaps the key off in the locked position. She then throws it into the darkness.)

Daria: (As she and Jane make for the grey sedan.) Don't stress, it won't explode. (As they get in.) I may have make it look as if the thing will go off as soon as someone sneezes, but I tied the safety-pin so that it will stay with the grenade, and not go boom.

Jane: (Starts to drive into the night.) Neat. (Thinks for a second.) So that little bundle of joy will tie up more police resources until the bomb-squad can come and disarm it? (Nods.) Nice one, Sundance.

Daria: (Looking over) I hope to do better than those two.

Jane: ("Don't sweat it" expression.) We'll be fine.

Daria: (Very dry.) As long as we don't go to Bolivia. [33]

Jane: (Puzzled.) I though it was Brazil?

(Their phones ring and they grab for them, Jane stopping halfway with a sheepish expression on her face.)

Daria: (With a sideways glance to Jane.) Here.

Trinity: (O/S) Nice job kids, pro-quality work.

Daria: Thanks.

Jane: (Listening in.) What do the judges think?

Maxx: (O/S) Jane got an 8, maybe 8.5 with the kick and use of the Taser. You, on the other hand, scored a solid 9 with the jury-rigged booby-trap.

(Jane scowls.)

Daria: So, is this just a social call, or is there something we should be worried about?

Trinity: (O/S) Start to worry. (Pause.) Do you remember the search-engine that found you?

Daria: Yes?

Trinity: (O/S) Ok, we managed to track down the original source of the thing through the description you gave us. Apparently, it was one of a few billion that an earlier ship inserted into the Matrix, as a sort of spy and worm program.

Jane: (Sideways glance.) Worm?

Daria: (Aside to Jane.) The first computer virus, it produces endless copies of itself, eventually using up all of a system's resources.

Jane: Oh. (Goes back to driving.)

Trinity: (O/S) Anyway, it was a very simple piece of code, with the goal of finding and tagging people who might be "of interest" to us.

Daria: So?

Trinity: (O/S, dry.) "Finding and letting us know" does not include contacting you, pointing you in the right direction to us and giving out a secure contact number. The original program was nowhere near as sophisticated.

Jane: I've got that familiar feeling... (Checks mirrors.)

Trinity: (O/S, wry.) Thought you might. It so happens that the code released was from the same ship that was covering the AI Agent "birth", and was the second-to-last thing they ever transmitted.

Alice: (O/S, off-mike.) The last thing was a warning of the Agents, kind of like a living will.

Daria: (Looking at Jane.) I'm feeling reassured.

Jane: (Looking ahead.) Same here.

Maxx: (O/S) So we've kind of played around with a few theories...

Trinity: (O/S) We suspect that some of the viruses were caught up in the Agent spawning, and were modified with AI code. Probability indicates that even though most of the modified viruses would be "sterile", destroyed or just damaged beyond self-recovery, some may have made it out of the spawning node, with viable AI routines.

Jane: And this means...what?

Maxx: (O/S) We may have a friendly AI.

Daria: (Finding holes in the argument.) Hang on, wouldn't the Matrix AI's figure out pretty soon they've a traitor in their midst?

Trinity: (O/S) Admittedly, it does stagger the imagination that a rogue program could remain undetected for so long, but most AI's tend to be "fat" with multiple redundancies, while the virus would tend to pare down it's routines to the absolute minimums needed.

Jane: Hang on, a program can do that? Modify itself?

Daria: (Eyes dart to Jane.) A few programmers bet that a computer could write a better virus then their boss could, so they gave it a shot. The best their much-vaunted human counterpart could do was 78 steps. The computer knocked it down to 72, then 59, then 42 steps. And that was during the early 80's. (Beat.) Damn memory. [34]

Maxx: (O/S) Riiight. So that's how we think it survived, by modifying the AI code so that it could be "thin" enough to move around undetected, but retain friend/foe routines to be ignored if it were queried. We're kind of amazed that it contacted you guys though. If it was self-aware enough to run undiscovered for so long, why in hell would it set off so many alarms to get you guys out?

Jane: (Raised eyebrow.) Feeling the love...

Maxx: (O/S) No offence.

Daria: None taken. So what does this mean to us, fascinating as it is?

Trinity: (O/S) We suspect that the AI's didn't kill the engine when they closed in on you, they captured it.

Daria: And how could they do that?

Jane: (Dry.) We're wandering around in a computer-generated reality, and you stop to wonder?

(Silence for a few seconds.)

Jane: What? It may take me a while, but I get the gist of things.

Trinity: (O/S) Ok then.

Daria: So what is it that you want us to do?

Iskander: (O/S, deep.) Your mission Jim, should you choose to accept it...<Whack!> Ow! That hurt dammit!

Maxx: (O/S) Thanks Alice. (To the girls.) Ok, remember that little complex we thought was a listening post? After figuring out what may have happened to the search engine, we checked it out again, and, wonder of wonders, some buildings resemble a hazardous material lab.

Jane: Hazardous materials? I'm thinking we're not talking about explosives here, I'm thinking Smallpox, Ebola and the Black Plague?

Trinity: (O/S) Once again, you've got it in one. Some of the buildings look like a set from "Outbreak."

Daria: (Cutting in.) But with tighter security?

Trinity: (O/S) Right.

Jane: (Being Jane.) This sounds like fun. What do we do? Drive a truck through the front-gates, kill everybody in sight, take photos of the secret plans and blow the place up as we leave?

Daria: (Aside to Jane.) You really liked the "A-Team", didn't you? (Jane shrugs.)

Trinity: (O/S) Negative on that. Since a frontal approach would be nothing more than a particularly spectacular suicide, we recommend that you acquire some cameras and record as much information about the place as you can.

Jane: Get cameras? (Her face: "The tortured artist finds another medium of expression.") Great.

Daria: (Seeing a problem.) You realise the only place in town open right about now would be the mall?

Jane: Oh. (Resigned.) So much for keeping a low profile.

Trinity: (O/S) Is there a problem?

Daria: (Explanatory.) It's Friday night.

Trinity: (O/S) You've lost me.

Jane: (Loud so that she can be heard over the phone.) What do you think that the kids around here do if they're not old enough to pass muster with a fake ID?

Iskander: (O/S) Homework?

Alice: (O/S, faint.) God, you had no life, did you?

Maxx: (O/S) She means mall-rats. (Beat.) It's going to be lousy with them.

Trinity: (O/S) Well, as needs dictate. (Pause.) Be careful.

<Click.>

(Open to the grey sedan making it's way into the Cranberry Commons Carpark. Music: "Black Friday" - Grinspoon. It brakes, parks and the two get out. They close the doors at the same time and walk off in unison towards the main entrance. They're wearing sunglasses again. Daria doesn't look to be too happy with the whole shopping thing, Jane looks like she would rather drive through the front doors, ala the "Blues Brothers".) [35]

(They come up to the automatic doors, wait for them to open and enter Cranberry Commons.)

(The camera POV spins around to a front on view of the girls, who are standing like Trinity and Neo when in the foyer of the military building, about to bust out Morpheus.)

Daria: (Monotone.) Where?

Jane: (Same.) No idea.

(They walk over to one of those "You are Here" boards and locate a camera store. After doing so, they look up in eerie unity to where it should be. They walk towards the escalators, board and look around for Agents to jump out from the walls, or anything else to avoid.)

Daria: (Under her breath.) Seen anyone?

Jane: (Same.) Only a few freshmen, I don't think they recognised us. (Looks at Daria, smirks slightly.) I really don't think they recognised you.

Daria: (Sotto.) When we get back, I'm going to whoop your ass something bad.

Jane: (Lightly.) Promises, promises. (She stiffens.) 4 o'clock low.

Daria: (Looks down, relaxes.) Don't worry. It's only Robert. He couldn't remember my name ten seconds after introductions, I don't think he'll remember it now. [36]

(As they move steadily higher, they watch as Robert and a few other footballers (Identified by large builds and bulky necks.) laugh loudly at some comment or jest.)

Jane: (Distant.) Spooky, isn't it? (Daria glances over.) They'll all unknowing, just useful organic batteries for a collection of inhuman computer intelligences.

Daria: (Looking around again.) I thought I was the depressing one.

Jane: (Subdued.) It rubs off on you.

(The escalator reaches the top floor without further conversation. Daria and Jane get off, and look to find the camera shop directly opposite the escalator. As they walk off, Daria takes another look down and takes Jane by the arm.)

Jane: (Worried.) What's up?

Daria: (Calm.) Jodie and Mack just walked in. (She turns them towards the store.)

Jane: Damn. (Walks away with Daria.) Are they coming upstairs?

Daria: (Reaching the entrance of the shop.) It didn't look like it.

Jane: Small hopes... (Opens the doors, and ushers Daria inside. As an afterthought, she flips the "open" sign to "closed". To Daria.) Always wanted to do that.

(The camera shop, oddly enough, contains many different cameras, tripods and assorted paraphernalia. Jane scans the place, and starts to mentally tick off items in some list she has. Daria wanders over to the binoculars and telescopes. Suddenly, a very familiar voice stops them in their tracks.)

Upchuck: Hel-llo ladies, can I help you with anything?

Daria: (Totally disgusted.) Oh, god.

Upchuck: (Coming in from the backroom. He's wearing an apron over his normal attire and a "Charles" name-badge.) We have a special on...(Stops when he recognises Daria in the middle of the shop-floor.) Daria! Long time, no seeee. (Purrs.) What have you been doing with yourself..?

(Before Daria can speak, Jane gets in Upchuck's face with a spray of some description.)

Jane: (Frozen, flat and deadly.) Upchuck, we're here to buy cameras, a lot of very expensive cameras. If you even so much as smirk at us, any mace that may have crossed your path will feel like mothers milk in comparison to this. (Shoves it a bit closer to his eyeballs.) So make like a good little sales-person and crack open the case there... (Thumbs behind her.) And you might survive long enough to claim your commission.

Upchuck: (A little unsteadily.) Uh, sure. (He opens up the glass case and let's Jane poke around. He turns to Daria.) So, how are things? (Purrs/growls.)

Daria: (Fixing him with a look that can be felt even through her dark glasses.) Upchuck, would you just open the telescope case and show me which ones have a camera attachment?

Upchuck: (Bows, leads the way.) Anything, toots! (Unlocks the case, throwing it wide open.) But how did you guess that I know... (Trails off at Daria's look.)

Jane: (O/S, sarcastic.) Lucky guess?

(Jane comes into the shot laden with expensive-looking cameras, she dumps them onto the front counter and goes back for the telephoto lenses. Upchuck looks at the equipment on the counter, and makes a few mental calculations. He walks across and goes to stop Jane.)

Upchuck: Now Ms Lane, I think you may be overestimating the Chuckster's generosity here. (Jane looks at him, disgusted, pulls out her wallet and gives him the wad of cash.)

Jane: There, twenty grand. (Upchuck stares at the wad in his hand.) Now, help me find that Turner-Reich lens set, would you? (Upchuck swallows, then goes to help Jane.)

Jane: (Very cold.) Oh, and if I feel any groping, I'm gonna insert this tripod so far up you, doctors will be able to take photos of your tonsils. (Gestures to a large tripod and camera set, like the ones they use for weddings.) Got it?

Daria: (Calling to Jane.) I'll go collect film, shall I?

Jane: (Head in a display case. Indistinct.) Good idea, try for a lot of low-light stuff, and the motorised shutter attachments.

Daria: Huh?

Jane: (Still rooting around in the case.) The motorised cameras?

Daria: Oh.

Jane: (To Upchuck, with much scorn.) Is this supposed to be a Hassleblad? The crap some people try to sell these days...[37]

(While Jane grabs up the necessary attachments, Daria ransacks the shelves for films, batteries and anything else that might be useful. She sees a few digital video cameras.)

Daria: Hey Jane, what about a video camera?

Jane: (Coming out of the case, arms filled.) Sounds good. (Places her load on the counter, which is almost filled with photographic gear.) Right-o Chucky, ring it up.

(The wad of cash from Daria's wallet lands next to some film containers. When Jane looks at Daria, Daria shrugs.)

Daria: It's going to be expensive, even I know that.

Jane: (As Upchuck takes the money and starts to count it.) We'll want change out of that, film-boy.

Upchuck: (Drooling, thinking of his commission.) Anything you want.

(Daria and Jane stand there, arms crossed as Upchuck scans and bags their purchases.)

(Open to Daria and Jane exiting the camera store. Music: "Don't You Know Who I Am?" - Happyland. Upchuck is waving goodbye like is was the "Beverley Hillbillies". Although weighed down with bags, and with cameras hanging off her, Jane manages to turn and wave her can of mace in Upchuck's direction. He flees to the safety of the shop, locking the door behind him. Daria comes up, bowed under the weight of the equipment she has, including a few tripods and what looks like a telescope stand. Jane smiles at Daria, who doesn't look very amused. As an afterthought, Jane drags out the video camera they just bought and looks into the lens.)

Jane: (Steady narration.) We are in the town of Lawndale, after acquiring many cameras and more film than I want to think about carrying. We've met up with one of our class members, but the serious application of cash and the threat of my mace have bought his silence. We will now go and try to find where we parked our car.

Daria: (Breaking into Jane's monologue.) Hey "Heather"? Remember the unending misery of our fellows, evil AI's, the likelihood of grisly deaths?

Jane: (O/S, we now have a camera's eye view.) C'mon "Mike", lighten up! [38]

(We see Daria's hand reach for the lens, then the shot jiggles away as Jane makes her escape. We see Daria approaching as quickly as she can under her burden, then receding as Jane boards another escalator. Daria gets on, her expression promising retribution.)

(The view spins around again, and we see the mirrored side of the ascending escalator, next to the descending one. Jane is reflected in it, showing a wide grin behind the camera. She records this as they pass alongside, and films Jodie and Mack as they stare straight at her.)

Daria: (O/S, distant, above.) Oh, shit.

(Music: "The Rockafella Skank" - Fatboy Slim.)

Jodie: (Shocked.) Jane? (Looks up.) Daria! What have... Where have you guys been?! (Mack looks equally surprised.)

Daria: (O/S) Lane! (Getting closer.) We are leaving!

Jane: (The view cuts to normal, Jane having put down the camera in shock.) Uhh, hi. Bye!

(Daria comes crashing down the escalator, dragging Jane with her. Finding their way blocked by a chattering group of retirees, Daria manages to halt Jane before she falls. Behind them, it is obvious by the noises and shouted curses that Jodie and Mack are trying to get to Daria and Jane. Since their escalator is closer to the entrance and car park then Daria and Jane's counter-flow one, it looks like they'll succeed.)

Jane: (Succinctly.) Fu...

Daria: Hey, Jane? (Daria's leaning over to check out the floor, about two stories below them.)

Jane: (Looking behind them, noting that their commotion has drawn the attention of a few mall security-guards. Distracted.) Yes Daria?

Daria: (Grabbing hold of Jane, tensing to leap.) Remember Peter-Pan?

Jane: (Looks at Daria.) Oh, damnitalltohellll..!

(As Jane voices her discontent with Daria's actions, Daria leaps over the rail of the escalator, hauling Jane along for the ride. Their coats flap a few times as they fall through the air, and a few shocked screams indicate that their departure didn't go unnoticed. Before Jane has a chance to elaborate on her remark, they land heavily. Daria goes to one knee due to the amount of stuff she's carrying, but Jane manages to keep her footing. She helps Daria up.)

Daria: (Puffing, moving forwards.) Harder to apply "our rules" than on the boat...

Jane: (Listening with half an ear.) Yeah, but we've got bigger problems now.

(A few security guards have come between them and the main entrance. Daria and Jane start to run towards the doors, but they fan out to catch them. Jane throws a bag at the feet of a running security guard, tangling him in the carry-strap and causing him to land heavily on his face. Daria ducks the grab of one beefy guard and dives to slide between the legs of another. Daria and the security-guard express horror as they both realise one of the tripods that Daria was carrying on her back has moved and is now pointed upright. As she slides beneath, it groins the guard, and he falls on her. They struggle to get apart, but manage to tangle themselves further in Daria's attempts to escape and the guard's attempt to make the pain go away.)

Jane: (Seeing what's happened.) Low profile be dammed. (Her pistol jumps out of her sleeve and she lets off three rounds at the ceiling.)

(There is a quiet moment at everyone freezes, then wild screams erupt as the late-night shoppers try to get away from the gun. Throughout the confusion, Jane keeps the guards covered and picks up her thrown bag. She sidles up to her friend, and nudges the guard off her.)

Jane: (Shifting her grip on her bags, she gives Daria a hand up.) I think we've reached the limit of our shopping quota for today. (Jane turns and stands in the slightly-crouched weaver stance, eyes narrowed over her gun. She waves the security away from their path, and the two make their way towards the doors. As they approach, metal security shutters slide down, triggered by some quick-thinking employee to prevent their escape. Jane looks at it with disgust.)

Jane: And wouldn't you know, I left my bazooka in the car.

(She fires a couple of rounds into the motor mechanism at the top right side of the doors, but nothing happens. While Jane re-loads, Daria digs in her pockets for something.)

Daria: (Seeing a bench/rubbish bin close by.) Hey Jane, when I throw these (Jane stares at the three grenades Daria's holding.) we make it over to there, all right? (Nods towards the seats.)

Jane: Ahead of you. (Take a few things off Daria and makes her way over. As she does, she lets off a few rounds to keep the curiosity-seekers out of the blast-radius. Heads popped over railings disappear.)

Daria: (Yelling.) Fire in the Hole! (She strips the pins, throws the grenades at the doors and runs towards the bench, sliding the last few feet. Jane is already hunkered under things and they wait.)

(A few seconds pass.)

Jane: (Poking her head out.) Duds..?

(A triple explosion rips through the mall, blowing the shuttered doors off their tracks and spraying glass everywhere.)

Daria: No (Getting up, dusting herself off and picking up her bags.) 10 second fuses.

Jane: Oh. (She extracts another gun from under her coat, and they make their way over the smouldering hole where the main entrance to Cranberry Common once stood. Music: "Every Day Should Be A Holiday" - The Dandy Warhols. Their footsteps crunch as they walk over heavy lumps of safety glass.)

(Outside now, and we see our heroines make their way out. Various sirens, screamers, and bells are heard, as are a few car alarms. Jane looks back at the hole they've made while Daria carries the equipment. No one follow them when they arrive at the car, and Jane unlocks the car using the remote. While Daria throws the stuff inside, Jane keeps a lookout for any pursuit. Happy there's none, she and Daria get in and drive into the night.)

(Cut To Daria and Jane, Daria driving while Jane plays around will all of her new toys. Music: still "Every Day Should Be A Holiday" - Dandy Warhols. Their phones ring, Daria leaves hers while Jane answers.)

Jane: Yo!

Maxx: (O/S, dry.) I'd hate to see your version of a high-profile operation.

Alice: (O/S) Hi kids! Man, you people rip ass!

Jane: Great mental image, thanks. (Eyes scan the road ahead as her fingers feed film into a motorised winder.) So what's up? (She thumbs a button and the film winds on.)

Maxx: (O/S) Good news for you, no Agents. Bad news, there is now a statewide APB for the "Cranberry Bombers" - the local villagers will be converging on you with pitchforks and flaming torches if you don't keep your heads down. In addition, the bomb-squad wasn't happy with the booby-trap that Daria pulled and blew the car after cutting the officers free and extracting them via the roof.

Jane: They're not pleased then, are they?

Maxx: (O/S) Big "no".

Jane: (To Daria.) We done good!

Maxx: (O/S) <Forehead smack.>

Alice: (O/S, jumping in over Maxx's muttering.) So kids, grab a bunch of happy-snaps and have the film on you when you translate back, ok?

Maxx: (O/S, faint.) I'm going on my break now, get Iskander up here.

Jane: So Alice, how are we doing?

Alice: (O/S) Top marks for panache, but your subtlety leaves a lot to be desired.

Daria: (Overhearing.) They're beginning to get to know you.

Iskander: (O/S) And how are my two favourite home-grown terrorists?

Jane: (Chill.) Ready to kick your lily-white ass all over the mess as soon as I'm back out. I heard about the betting pool you were running.

Iskander: (O/S, uncertain.) Ahh, and how is Daria? (We can hear laughter in the background.)

Jane: (Not letting up.) Suggesting that I tie you down and blowtorch sensitive areas.

Iskander: (O/S) Okaaay. (Off-mike, hope in his voice.) Divine, friend, goddess, saviour! I have a small favour to ask of you...

Alice: (O/S, coming back.) If you're wondering, he's begging Divine to take over this supervision secession while he tries to think up something that will persuade you not to maim him. (Wry.) Or convince Trinity to let him hide somewhere, whichever has a more likely chance of success. (Pause.) One time, when he pissed of Bunny, he hid in the Organo-nutrient tank for 2 days. For the rest of the mission, everything we ate tasted like his old socks.

Jane: Would you please be so kind as to inform him that if he tries that again, Daria and I will dine off "long-pig". [39]

Alice: (O/S) I would, but Trinity and Bunny already have first dibs. (Reading Jane's mind.) And it's a long story, so I'll tell it to you later.

Jane: Right then. We'll phone when we're wanting out, right?

Alice: (O/S) Be right here.

<Click.>

(Open to another cursor flashing...)

<WARNING: Disruption to the logic structure at Node: 3860410059302-{"Lawndale"} detected.>

<ALERT: Level 10 Security message follows.>

<MESSAGE: Class 9B Foreign Routine currently under dissection in Node: 3860410059302-{"Lawndale"}. Repeat: ensure no interruption of current operating conditions.>

<Query: threat posed?>

<Query: available options of response?>

<ALERT: Unable to complete previous command due to level of available local resources and command interruption. Proceed with command?>

<Compliance.>

<Query: reasons for "Negative Agent dispatch" selection?>

<Affirmed: Class 9B Foreign Routine. Estimate possibility of Agent base-programming contamination if exposed: 78%. Likelihood of algorithm virus-based: 97.5%.

<Affirmed: extreme programming threat. Destruction of Foreign Routine may release unknown contaminant routines. Exercising extreme caution.

<Affirmed: reasoning understood.>

<Interrogate: additional suggestions?>

<Compliance.>

<Compliance.>

(Open to the cliché of all clichés, headlights turned off as the vehicle in question pulls to a halt. Music: "Private Investigations" - Dire Straits. There are a few slamming doors, and muffled curses as someone drops a tripod. The camera angle moves up, to catch Daria and Jane setting up their little stakeout. Jane is filming Daria setting up the telescope with the video camera. Daria is wrestling a camera onto the attachment port.)

Daria: (Quietly.) This would go a lot faster if you helped. (Gets it on, and does a rough sight of the complex.)

(We get to see it for the first time, a bunch of low buildings surrounded by hexagonal walls. As Daria adjusts the main focus on the telescope, she notices something strange.)

Daria: Look at this. (Waves Jane over.)

(Jane looks in the view, and we see what she does. The buildings are made of lightly textured concrete, the rest of the compound covered in a similar substance. She slowly pans along, noticing guards with dogs and a gate entrance that turns sharply to the left with only enough room for a truck to turn. Even then, judging by the lighter scrapes on the walls, it looks as if a few didn't make the turn early enough.)

Jane: (Still looking into the telescope.) And what exactly am I searching for? Oh no, wait. I can see it, Brad Pitt is waving at me! (Still looking into the telescope, she waves back.)

Daria: Have you finished?

Jane: Shush! (Still looking.) I think one of the guards is William Shatner. (Waves again, then looks up.) What did I miss?

Daria: How many doors did you see?

Jane: A couple of dozen, why?

Daria: Look again.

(Jane frowns and bends back to her task. Sure enough, when placed under close scrutiny, what were once doors are now nothing more then painted sections of walls. She looks up at Daria again.)

Jane: That's weird.

Daria: Yeah. (Placing a pair of binoculars to her eyes.) Tell me you noticed the trenches?

(Jane looks again, and what looked like decorative paving designs resolve into a comprehensive network of trenches, some looking almost 10 feet deep.)

Jane: (Not looking away this time.) Hmmm. What look like slit trenches against air-attack, no exterior doors...?

Daria: Can you spell trap? (Puts down her binoculars.)

Jane: (Looking out, unassisted.) I'm not sure, but I can see one. (Looks over to Daria.) I'll break out the rest of the cameras. (Pause.) I'm starting to like this even less that when I started.

(They go about their various tasks with less noise and a greater awareness of danger.)

(Music: "Building A Mystery" - Sarah McLachlan. Much later on, as in "next morning" later on, we see Jane walking over to Daria, who is trying to take a shot with a telephoto lens about 4 feet in length. She manages, and we hear a gentle click in the still air.)

Jane: (Quietly, as you do when you've had little sleep.) How goes it?

Daria: I've got a few ideas, but those building down there are not buildings.

Jane: You first. (She sits on the bonnet of the car.)

Daria: Ok. (Does the same.) I've noticed the patrols mainly stick to the walls and well-lit areas, which indicates that the rent-a-cops are strictly window-dressing or that there are cameras everywhere down there. (Jane nods in agreement.) The few buildings with doors are next to the main, and only, gate.

Jane: I wonder how they got that past the building inspectors? (Daria looks up.) The single entrance? [40]

Daria: We'll figure that out later. (Turns back to the complex.) Notice how the buildings are laid out? Those aren't trenches down there Jane, they're channels.

Jane: (Rubs chin.) I remembered seeing something "like" near a tank farm. But they were big earth berms... [41]

Daria: An oil-tank farm has berms to keep leakage contained and away from populated areas, (Nods.) those channels are designed and placed to spread something as quickly and as thoroughly as possible, which indicates the buildings are storage tanks of some description.

Jane: Disinfectant? Napalm? Dog food?

Daria: (Slight smile.) Your guess is as bad as mine. (Pause.) I'm leaning towards something flammable though.

Jane: No one's smoking, are they?

Daria: Right.

Jane: (Holds up a big bag.) I've stripped the cameras of film, give me what's in that monster and we'll roll.

(As Daria does so, a Bell helicopter with no markings roars out of the sky and buzzes them, hovering about 20 yards away. Daria falls backward off of the car. Jane stands, braced against the downdraft, hands in front of her face to shield her eyes.)

Helicopter Loudhailer: Freeze, you are under arrest! Federal Agents!

Jane: God-dammed mother... (Looks over to where Daria fell.) You ok girl!?

Daria: (Coming up on the other side of the car, one hand holding her head.) Oh, I'm fine. (Pulls her hand away, looks at the copious blood produced by a scalp-wound.)

Helicopter Loudhailer: Stay where you are and nobody will get hurt!

Jane: (Gun sliding into her hand.) You wish. (She pops a few shots off at the chopper, which banks away out of effective pistol range and begins to circle.)

Helicopter Loudhailer: Put down your weapon! (Jane does nothing of the sort, emptying the clip.)

Jane: (Yelling to Daria while she changes magazines.) Pop the trunk!

(Daria fumbles by the driver's side and pulls something. The trunk pops open. Jane walks over to it while keeping the chopper in her sights.)

Jane: (Sparing a quick glance at Daria.) How is it?

Daria: (Looking about as pissed-off as we're ever going to see her.) I really hope you've got something unpleasant in there, I'm in the frame of mind to use it. (She runs to the trunk.)

Jane: (Shoving a large and heavy machine gun at Daria from the trunk.) Here, remember how to use one of these?

Daria: (Looking blank for a few seconds.) The Minmimi or SAW, 5.56mm ammunition in 200 round boxes or 30 round magazines (She snaps back into focus and pulls back the cocking lever.) Jane? I'm going to need something to shoot with..?

(Jane passes over a few sealed boxes, then goes back to sorting out whatever she is trying to drag out. Daria throws the Minmimi onto the bonnet of the car and fits the box of ammunition into the receiver. She then makes it ready, slings it up and aims at the chopper from car bonnet.)

Daria: See how you like it... (The first few rounds go nowhere near the chopper, but she swings the muzzle around smoothly and the helicopter breaks off, unwilling to go anywhere near a madwoman with a gun as big as that.)

Jane: (O/S) Almost there, almost...you're gone.

(Daria turns around just in time to see Jane launch a Stinger anti-aircraft missile at the retreating helicopter. It streaks away while Jane throws the smoking launcher in the trunk and slams the lid)

Jane: (After tossing the boxes of Minmimi ammunition into the front seat.) Coming?

(The pilot of the chopper must be a pro, managing to keep the tail of the chopper and the hot exhaust shrouded by the body. Unfortunately, Stinger missiles are notoriously "smart" and it explodes nearby, anyway.) [42]

(Jane is in the driver's seat, starting the car as Daria watches the tail assembly being blown off the helicopter. Lacking lateral thrust, it begins to loop and spiral into the ground.)

Jane: (Engine running.) DARIA!

(Daria starts, then slides across the bonnet to the passenger side. She gets in, bringing along the Minmimi. It's awkward, but she manages and shuts the door.)

Jane: (While looking backwards as she reverses out of the wooded copse they had been partly-hidden by.) If he's lucky, he'll auto-rotate in to a relatively safe landing. [43]

Daria: (Still shocked by the situation, and her part in it.) And if they aren't?

Jane: (Swerving and driving forwards again.) Then we'll be sick together and cry all night.

(Fade scene with the rear view of the grey sedan, throwing up leaves and sticks as they make their escape.)

(Music: "No Brakes" - The Offspring. Cut to the girls driving too fast on a bad road. It's well past dawn and they've both got sunglasses on. Their phones ring.)

Daria: (Hard.) Here.

Divine: (O/S) I assume by the sudden flood of conversation on the police-band that you'd like an exit?

Jane: (Shouting over the road noise.) Got it in one!

Divine: (O/S) Right. How does a place called "Cranberry Commons" strike you?

Daria: Fine, but we blew our way out of there last night, remember?

Divine: (O/S) Oh. (Somewhat off-mike.) No one tells me these things. (Normal.) Ok, that's out. The "Zen" nightclub?

Alice: (O/S, off mike, panting.) They've been there, done that.

Divine: (O/S) Crap. Ok, how about that deserted house? I know it's a long way from where you are at the moment... (Rustling noises.)

Daria: Somewhere closer would be nice. (Jane nods and swerves to avoid something.)

Alice: (O/S, sounding like she's got a headset on now.) Uhh, oh, how about the "Lawndale Strawberry?"

Daria: Nothing closer? We'd have to drive across town.

Divine: (O/S) Who comes up with these? Ok, "Hair for Freaks" in Degas Street?

Daria: Same deal.

Divine: Crap.

Alice: (O/S) How about...

(What she was going to say is lost when Jane abruptly swerves to re-join a normal road. The squeal of the wheels overwhelms the mobile.)

Daria: What was that, I didn't copy?

(Alice repeats herself and Daria hangs up.)

Jane: So, where? I need an address!

(Daria says something indistinct.)

Jane: What? (Turns her head to Daria. The speedometer inches up to 80 mph.)

Daria: (Speaking loudly over the wind-rush.) Lawndale High, the teacher's staffroom...

[...Someone said "it's all right", save it now, don't say it for my sake. Someone said "it's all right", faster now, you know I've got no brakes, no brakes...]

(Establishing scene, Lawndale High, morning. A few early students are scattered around the place, mostly enjoying the sunshine and doing the usual teenager things.) [44]

(A sudden squealing of tyres echo from the highway, it sounds like someone's done something pretty adventuresome, like crossing three lanes of traffic without indicating...) [45]

(Music: "Staring At The Sun" - The Offspring.)

(When the song hits it's stride (during the opening vocals) the camera spins down to alongside the grey sedan being driven recklessly by Jane. Our heroes' faces are grim and stained with dust. Daria's clotting head-wound has glued some hair to her cheek, and she listlessly moves it out of her face for what seems the thousandth time. Jane remains hunched over the wheel, seatbelt still not fastened. The engine whines, protesting the abuse that Jane's put it through. She indicates for the barest fraction of a second, and overtakes another vehicle.)

Brittany: (In her car.) Jerk!

(Approaching the school now, Jane shift's down-shifts, causing the engine to howl.)

(Some of the students look up at the distant noise.)

(Cut to inside the car. Obviously, Daria's been into Jane's little bag of fun and there are guns scattered everywhere. Daria wrestles on a few webbing holsters, and starts to slot guns wherever they will fit. Jane passes a 4-wheel drive on the wrong side of the road, driving on the median strip.)

Kevin: (In his jeep.) Whoa!

(Undisturbed at Jane's driving, Daria finishes the rest of her preparations, checks her seat-belt and settles in for the minute they have to go before they hit the school.)

[...When I ran, I didn't feel like a runaway. When I escaped, I didn’t feel like I got away. There's more to living than only surviving, maybe I'm not there, but I'm still trying...]

(The grey sedan whips past Ms Morris, torturing more innocent students. She looks up in surprise.)

(More than a few students have stopped what they're doing, looking at the car approaching with such speed. A few of the more clairvoyant ones gather up their stuff.)

Jane: (Eyes only.) Ready?

Daria: (Same shot.) Do it.

(Jane downshifts a few gears at once, slams on the brakes and pulls the handbrake. The resultant metallic screams of protest clear the remaining student body the hell out of the way as the grey sedan swerves, then spins into the set-down area in front of the school. As the wheels smash over the curb, two explode with a noise slightly louder than that of the transmission being spread out over the road surface. The sedan manages to crash head-on to the mainly decorative steps of Lawndale high.)

(Silence for a few seconds.)

(A door is kicked open. The force of the blow is such that it continues off its hinges and lands on the green lawn. Daria steps out, looking like every disgruntled student rolled into one. There is another crash and Jane gets out of the car, carrying the Minmimi. She pats the car, absently, then looks to Daria.)

Jane: Ok?

Daria: Peachy.

(Daria bends down to sling a shotgun over one shoulder, then draws a pair of pistols, flicking the safeties to "armed". Jane clears the chamber, then does the same.)

(They turn and examine the entrance of the school they spent so many days trying not to fall asleep in. With a grunt, Jane leaps up and walks along the cracked steps to the front door. Daria follows, less athletically but with greater menace. Jane kicks in the remaining door, and they enter.)

(Music: "The Kids Aren't Alright" - The Offspring. Daria and Jane walk along the emptied corridors of Lawndale High, guns in readiness. Mr O'Neill staggers out of a classroom, coughing.)

Mr O'Neill: Oh dear, what was that? (See the steadily-approaching figures through the dust.) Excuse me? Are you all right? Is anyone injured? (Sees the guns, then the faces behind them.) Oh.

(He faints.)

(Apart from watching with interest as O'Neill collapses to the floor, the girls ignore him, scanning the corridors for anything in a dark suit, or a police uniform.)

Jane: (As she examines an empty classroom.) Hey Daria?

Daria: (Checking her six.) Yes?

Jane: (With a careful look down the corridor.) I bet you never thought you'd be doing this.

Daria: (Scanning her surrounds, but moving steadily along.) Walking through my school with a loaded gun?

Jane: (Distant.) Uh, yes, that too.

Daria: (Surprised.) What else do you mean?

(Jane waves her quiet, listening to some running footsteps coming down the hallway. She and Daria spin into handy alcoves by the lockers and wait.)

(Ms Li comes trotting by.)

Ms Li: (Muttering to herself.) I always knew they'd be back, and with guns, but who'd believe me? Dammed PTA, shortsighted fools...

(Daria and Jane emerge as Li departs. They share a loaded glance.)

Jane: "They?"

Daria: As fascinating as that was, I think we'd better get to the teacher's lounge, before SWAT make's it's presence felt.

(Jane nods her agreement, and they make their way steadily through the unlit corridors. Occasionally, students walking through passed in front of them, but most did not see the girls, or simply run as soon as they notice the guns.)

(They reach the teacher's lounge, and wait by the doorway. Indistinct voices can be heard.)

Jane: Hmmm. (Eyes narrow.) Occupied.

(Daria looks over at the opposite wall.)

Daria: Not for long. (She walks over, dragging Jane with her. Daria gestures for Jane to go hide, then smashes the fire alarm she located. Jane pulls her over, and they fade into the shadows.)

(The indistinct grumbles change to universal groans as the teachers inside get out of comfortable chairs and go to organise the evacuation of the school. Mrs Barch, Mr DeMartino and Mrs Bennet make their way out of the lounge, muttering uncomplimentary things about the fire-drills they seem to have every second day.)

(Inside the room, a phone starts to ring.)

(Daria and Jane make a dash for the door, pull it shut and lock it behind them. The phone lies on a small table in front of them. Daria gives Jane the bag of film, and Jane sets down the machine-gun. Daria hauls a couch across to the door.)

Daria: (Nods towards the phone.) I'll cover you.

(Jane waves her thanks, picks up the phone, stiffens and is extracted from the Matrix.)

(The three seconds it takes for the phone to start ringing again are the longest in Daria's life.)

(When the phone rings again, there is a curious knocking at the door. Daria grabs the receiver, places it to her ear and...)

(Opens her eyes to the bright lights of the action-deck of the "Gilded Albatross". She squints, and feels the familiar "Brain down the drain" feeling of the direct connection being removed. She tries to sit up, but can't, feeling incredibly stiff and sore. She looks across; noting that Divine is supporting her the same way that Alice is for Jane. Iskander, Shine, Maxx and Trinity are hunched over the main control panel, eagerly dissecting something on-screen. Then Daria's bladder starts to scream at her, and she forgets any sort of curiosity as the need to use the head reaches an urgent crescendo. Grateful for Divine's support, she hobbles to the toilet, making it in time.)

Daria: (V/O: Well, this is not what I expected after finishing a dangerous mission...)

(Open to a quiet conference, the crew all there, except for Divine and Maxx. Music: "Complication" - NIN. A large holographic display winks into existence, and starts to rotate. Seen is a montage of the photos that Jane and Daria took, capturing the buildings and compound, sort of like the type they used to map Mars and the Moon. Daria and Jane look impressed, but tired.)

Jane: (Sotto to Daria.) What I want to know is how they actually develop the film?

Alice: (Overhearing.) When you translated back, you carried with you, in iconic form, the raw data that could be converted into visual imagery. (Nods towards Shine.) Shine did so, so that we've got pretty pictures.

Jane: (Quiet.) That makes it all clear.

Trinity: (Loud and clear.) Ok everyone. (Looks to the ceiling.) You getting this Divine, Maxx?

Divine: (O/S, over a loudspeaker.) Aye Captain.

Trinity: Ok. This (Waves hand at the rotating 3D figure.) is what we originally thought to be an AI "listening post". Further developments indicated that it was a biological research facility, this was not to be the case, as our operatives discovered.

Jane: (Aside to Alice.) What's with the narration?

Alice: (To Daria and Jane.) Ok, whenever a ship goes into something bad, Zion likes to know what's been the lead up to the situation, and what the decisions were. Then it can use the information to help other ships avoid similar problems.

Daria: (Very Sotto.) I don't like the sounds of this...

Alice: (To Daria.) Neither does anyone else. (Nods at the circle.) This is all being recorded, then going to be sent back after our decision has been made.

Trinity: Through a surprisingly thorough surveillance effort, Daria and Jane managed to direct us in another direction. (To Iskander.) Hit it.

(Iskander triggers something, and we see a satellite plot of Lawndale.)

Trinity: Using already-installed backdoors in certain intelligence organizations, we were able to "borrow" one of their more sophisticated satellites for a survey of Lawndale, and the area of most interest to us.

(The satellite plot slowly pans upward to the complex, where Iskander freezes it. The overhead view resolves down until the complex fills the display.)

Trinity: Making use of the ground-survey radar (the image changes into a mess of black and grey lines) we were able to determine just where the complex is. (The image fills with a false-colour representation, and we see there is a lot of something beneath the surface of the ground.)

Trinity: (Into the silence.) Through the accurate observations of Daria and Jane, it's now obvious that the buildings on the surface are nothing of the sort, apart from a reception area, the guardroom and a few plant and ventilation buildings. The rest (The view closes up on a single building. The view changes slightly, more oblique, and then we can suddenly see through the textured walls. A large metal tank takes up the space inside the building.) seem to be containers of what we think is a disinfectant, probably mixed with a flammable substance. (She looks up at the display, and the shot flips to a horizontal view. Like an iceberg, most of the complex is shown to be below the surface.) The actual complex is beneath the ground. What is above ground is a last-ditch decontamination system.

(Jane nudges Daria.)

Trinity: Given that a program, that was once one of our viruses, could possibly be in possession of AI code, it is logical for the AI's to try to make it incapable of harm, dissect and then destroy it. (Beat.) Since the precautions they've undertaken have been so elaborate, it is likely that the code or virus is quite hostile towards AI's, or AI-directed Agents. What has so far worked in our favour is the relative size of the town, quite small in comparison to most other operational nodes, with a corresponding scarcity of "resources". I predict that this advantage will change, quite soon, so we must act before the defences are beefed up.

(The holographic view changes to a simplified top-plan of the complex.)

Trinity: I propose to enter the complex, determine if the captured virus would be of any benefit to our cause or detriment to the AI's and act accordingly. This is an extremely hazardous mission, given that we had to draw attention to our target with the initial scouting mission.

Jane: (O/S) Sorry, our bad.

Trinity: (Ignoring Jane's comment with a look of long-suffering patience.) This raid, although important in my estimation, is of such high risk that I will ask for a crew vote on participation, and a call of volunteers on the actual mission.

Alice: (Sotto to Jane and Daria.) Oh, this is bad. She expects that the AI's will send sentinels after us, as well as try and wipe out the people, inside. (To Daria's look.) The AI's don't send down the squids too much, they have a lot of physical infrastructure wrapped up in those things, and the EMP doesn't leave anything behind but cooling goo.

Trinity: A call of hands for the mission?

(Everyone raises his or her hands, Jane with both of hers. There are some dull thumps from upstairs. Jane and Daria look up, curiously.)

Alice: (Wry.) It's sort of a tradition now, the guys on watch indicate "Yes" by banging things.

Trinity: Ok, I make it unanimous. Those who wish to volunteer for the actual mission?

(Everyone raises his or her hands, Jane holding up Daria's other one. Cue the same thumping from above.)

Trinity: Ok, it looks like we're all going. I'll "draw straws" for who gets to keep Bunny company.

(Daria looks puzzled at Alice, and at her smooth skin on her arms, and the lack of an entry-port. Alice smiles a little, embarrassed.)

Alice: It's a long story, but I'm not setup like you guys are, could we leave it at that?

(Daria and Jane wave/nod.)

(Open to Iskander, kicking something on the deck, obviously he drew the "short straw". Music: "Waking the Witch" - Kate Bush. Bunny waves Iskander up to the Bridge, then turns, watching the rest of the crew sitting or standing by the couches.)

Bunny: Right people, let's get it going.

(Open to a small backroom, black phone on a table, both dusty. As the close-up rotates around, it rings repeatedly. As the last ring fades away, Trinity's black-clad hand collects the phone and picks it up.)

Trinity: (Closeup on her mouth.) We're in.

Jane: (O/S) But where...Yahh!

(The shot pans out and we see Daria and Jane staring at the 6-foot black woman standing among them. She's blond, dressed in a lot of ripped denim and leather and wearing aviator sunglasses. Jane's gun is to hand, and held with unwavering aim at the woman's head.)

Trinity: Relax, its Alice.

Alice: (Sounding tired, and like Alice.) It's me. How do I look this time?

Maxx: (Coming up, dressed in her usual "classic grunge") Hmm. 6 foot. Black. Female. (Pause.) Blond.

(Alice smacks her forehead, then modifies it to rub the bridge of her nose.)

Jane: (Securing her gun.) I take it this was something that you were going to share with us?

Alice: (Slipping off her glasses, her very blue eyes a startling contrast to the rest of her face.) Ok, the AI's screwed around with my personality-profile so much when I was in the Matrix I form a new one each and every time I'm hooked up. To me, I look "normal" but to everyone else... (She shrugs.)

Divine: (Grinning on the sidelines.) At least it isn't as bad as the time you...

Alice: (Looking up, disgusted.) Jeez, I though I'd killed everyone who knew about that?

Shine: Well, a naked Brad Pitt does tend to draw the attention of the local K-Mart shoppers...

(Cut to Daria and Jane, dressed like they were in their previous mission, with identical look of inquiry.)

(Trinity coughs, politely. The rest of the crew jumps to organise themselves, Shine and Maxx slipping out of the dusty room, everyone else picking up things.)

Daria: (Quietly to Trinity.) So, where are we?

Trinity: In one of the plant room in "Cranberry Commons". (Jane looks over to the conversation.) Don't stress, we've got a few cars stashed here, and none of the remote cameras remain operational.

(Maxx comes back and grabs one of the metal-bound boxes that have come with them. The rest of the team do similar and exit.)

(Open to the same wooded copse where Jane and Daria held their stakeout. A black transit pulls to a halt, the side door sliding open before the van has stopped proper, Shine diving out, gun held at the ready. Daria and Jane exit less precipitously, Alice following. Shine clambers back into the van, and it drives off again. Music: "Sleepwalking" - Ammonia.)

Jane: (Watching the van drive off.) Does it seem a little wasteful having almost half of the team waiting as backup?

(Daria says nothing, just looks at Jane, and more then more pointedly at the knuckleduster that has somehow reappeared on Jane's hand. Jane flushes, then takes them off.)

Daria: So, apart from a naked Brad Pitt, and (Waves a hand in Alice's direction.) that, anything else that you'd like to share with us?

Alice: (Sighing.) Ok, you know all of those Elvis sightings?

Jane: (Jane has a huge grin on her face.) You?

Alice: (Exasperated.) I swear, the number of times I've been in the "Inquirer"... Every time I'm needed, it seems the gods of perversity do something to make my life a living hell. (Looks over to Daria.) Do you know hard it is to try and sneak into a government office while looking like Roseanne, or Lisa Simpson, or E.T.? (Looks down.) I know this visual appearance is supposed to change to a random combination of basic physical traits, but the number of times I've had to escape a bunch of security guards while dressed in drag, it staggers the imagination.

(Their phones all ring, Jane answering first.)

Jane: Yo.

Bunny: (O/S) Ok, Bad news. Agents, two of them. Good news, they're nowhere near you and don't know where in hell you are.

Jane: Good, but not that good.

Bunny: (O/S) Better news, the little package we sent off to Zion alerted another ship, so you may have some additional backup.

Daria: (Into her phone.) This is turning into a regular little party here.

Bunny: (O/S) Hey, the more the merrier. It gives the Agents something else to chase after while our Captain raises hell.

(In the distance, there is a huge explosion. The group in the woods crouch and spin towards the noise.)

Bunny: (O/S) That sounds like a cue.

<Click.>

(Music: "My Own Summer (Shove It.)" - Deftones. Inside the compound, Maxx and Shine mow down some surprised security guards as they stagger out of a door. Trinity throws a grenade inside and the assault team ducks away. The interior explosion is muffled, the force being spent on closely packed people. Divine runs up and inside, dressed in green velvet fatigues. She looks back out again, and waves in the rest of the team.)

Maxx: (As they enter.) This is going well.

(Long burst of automatic fire from Shine.)

Shine: (Much sarcasm.) Oh yeah, this is good. (Picks off some wounded.) They're six deep in here, and we haven't even got down to the guarded areas.

(Divine works her way over to a doorway and corridor, pistols belching death. As she runs empty, she grabs a shotgun from the outstretched hand of a guard who won't be needing it anymore and lets off a few rounds, clearing enough space so that she can safely throw another grenade.)

Divine: (Yelling as she ducks around the corner.) Don’t think of it as being outnumbered!

(The grenade explodes, clearing a bloody path.)

Trinity: (Coming in from around the opposite corner.) Just think of having a better chance of hitting something...

Maxx: (Smoking gun in hand.) I'll keep that in mind.

(The assault team collect salvageable weapons, and make more bloody progress.)

(Cut to the three waiting members of the back-up team, obviously going insane.)

Daria: I'm going on a picnic, and I'm bringing Madam Albright's ankle socks, a bondage blindfold, a cross of Canadian Maple, a dingo for any babies we find, enough earwax for everyone, a troupe of Flamenco dancers on fire, Greta Garbo, encased in resin (Jane nods.) and the Hitler diaries, for some light fiction.

(They look at Alice.)

Alice: Ok, I'm going on a picnic, and I'm going to bring Madam Albright's ankle socks, a bondage blindfold, a cross of Canadian...

(Their phones ring. Usual mad scramble to answer first.)

Jane: We're here.

Maxx: (O/S, and sounding a bit tight.) Good, could you guys prowl around the complex and make like insane terrorists for a while? We're getting tired.

Trinity: (O/S) Ok, Jane, Daria, Alice? Can you enter the complex and act as a diversion for us? We keep running into more guards than we can handle and we're getting nowhere fast. We need you to distract some away from us. (Cue a bullet ricochet. Obviously not speaking to the girls.) Deal with that, would you?! (Burst of gunfire, some screams.) Thanks Maxx.

Maxx: (O/S, off.) Nahwhorries.

Jane: Right, we're there.

(Cut to outside the main gate, now hanging across the road. Music: "Hey Man, Nice Shot" - Filter. Daria has an M16, Jane has a Minmimi and Alice looks fierce with a combat shotgun. They enter the compound, stepping over bodies contorted in violent death. Daria and Jane look pale, but resolute.)

Jane: (Looking over to Daria.) A bit different from Cannibal Fragfest, isn't it?

Daria: (Tight.) Let's get in, do what we have to do, get the hell out so I can throw up quicker.

(They walk into the maze of buildings/tanks.)

(Daria looks puzzled for a moment, then waves the other two back. They drop and/or take cover. A panting security guard comes running up, head turned, looking behind for pursuit, so he doesn't see the blow from Daria's gun butt. He falls at her feet, very unconscious, but not dead. Daria walks over him, then looks to where he came.)

Daria: Hmm.

(She walks along, heading in the rough direction that the was running from. After a few seconds, so do Jane and Alice.)

Jane: (Softly, to Daria, as Daria pulls up.) What's up?

Daria: Ok, We know there is all hell breaking loose down below, so where did they guy come from if the place where Trinity and the rest went is the only way in?

Alice: (Eyes scanning around.) So you're thinking that...

Daria: That might not be just a plant building. (Nods. A small building with various tubes coming through the roof lies ahead of them, large roller doors raised man-high.)

(The girls trot over, keeping to the shadows. They come to be opposite the open roller door, but it's as black as pitch inside the building. Jane and Alice hold up grenades, and Daria nods. A few are rolled in, more are thrown, multiple explosions ripping through the building a few seconds later. Alice and Jane run up to the battered and scarred entry, and do a cautious look-see. Noting nothing of immediate alarm, Alice runs inside, keeping low. A few more seconds pass and she whistles an "All-clear". Daria and Jane enter.)

Jane: (We see eyes only.) Well, this is good.

(There is a snap, and one of those chemical lights glow into being. Alice holds it, looking worried.)

Alice: Notice? No emergency lights?

Jane: (Reasonably.) Well, we just blew six kinds of crap out of here...

(There is a grinding noise, and a crack of light shines into the gloom. Alice throws the chemical light towards the entrance and the girls disappear into the dark. The crack judders shut again, then opens, showing a bunch of frightened people in labcoats. They mill about for a few seconds, then run out of the open roller door and into the night. The lit room closes again, but stops.)

Jane: (Stepping into the light cast by the open lift doors.) Well, ladies and gentlemen, going down? (She holds the lift door open while Daria and Alice hurry inside. Once there, they look around at a large industrial lift, it's floor scarred. And in some places, bloody.)

Jane: (Looking at the four buttons, an obvious up, down, emergency stop and a "summon aid if in difficulty".) Ready?

(Daria and Alice nod. Jane presses the down button. The lift moves steadily down. Elevator music starts. Everyone glares at the speaker. Jane gets out a knife and throws it. Elevator music stops. Jane recovers knife. Everyone looks happier.)

(Cut to a dark room, lit by banks of feeble emergency lights. A large door built into one side of the room opens, and other door opens behind it. Alice runs out first, diving for cover behind a computer workstation. Jane follows, as does Daria. What is obviously an underground receiving dock is also obviously deserted. An electric forklift waits, hooked into its charger. While Alice and Jane check out the rest of the corridor, Daria goes to the workstation that Alice briefly hid behind. It's touch-operated, and she calls up a few general menus. She narrows her search further, and finds what she's looking for. Alice comes up, curious. Jane is still checking things out further down.)

Daria: (To Alice's unspoken query.) I found a map. This is the main receiving bay, there is an area set aside for storage down there (Points to her left.) and a clean room for hazardous materials on the right. Straight ahead, that'll get us to levels 2 and 3, sort of organising areas and things like canteens, toilets and showers. There are other levels beyond that, but we don't have the time to hack into this (Waves a hand at the terminal.) to find out.

(Daria walks over to the forklift, unplugs it and starts it. A flashing light spins on top, and Daria waves Alice to get on board.)

Daria: (Looks to the light.) Kill that, and let's go collect Jane.

(Alice rips out some wires leading to the roof of the cage, and Daria speeds off down where Jane went. They find her looking at a barricaded area in front of them, makeshift materials shoved in front of a large metal door. Jane looks at the forklift without too much curiosity, then goes back to looking at the blockage.)

(Daria gets out, followed by Alice.)

Jane: Who remembers Aliens? And what the colonists did? (Prods a crate.)

Alice: (Checking around, especially the walls.) And who else remembers how they ended up?

Daria: (Flat.) As encouraging as that thought is, I think that if someone blocked that door, I'd really like to find out why. (Looks at how the materials are piled up.)

Jane: (Sideways glance to Daria.) Are you like this, just to annoy me?

(Daria ignores the question, fires up the forklift again and moves some of the heavier items away from the door, shoving things around with the forks if she hasn't enough space to get a proper hold on things, or simply impaling the items and dragging them away. Soon exposed is a wide door that is at least 10 feet high. Chains have been welded to lock it shut, but a tug by the forklift snaps them away.)

Daria: (To Alice and Jane.) Ready? (Alice takes cover behind a few boxes, armed with Daria's M16, her shotgun over a shoulder. Jane is in a similar position, machine-gun ready.)

(Using the forklift as a makeshift ram, Daria pushes one side of the doors open. It’s lighter inside, and fathomless horrors fail to erupt from the open doors. Alice throws over Daria's M16, and they go to check things out.)

(Behind the barricade, they find another series of corridors, a quick check informing them that they're deserted, well-lit and empty. They wander a bit further, and find another series of doors, this time with a torn-out keypad and no obvious way around them. Alice pokes around with the exposed wiring, but straightens, shaking her head.)

Alice: It's toast.

(Jane looks at the metal doors, considering. Then she starts to remove lumps and globs of plastic explosive from about her person. As more and more make an appearance, the other two girls look on with expressions of disbelief. Jane starts to pack it into the bottom of the door seal, really jamming it in there. With a bow to Daria, she takes out something small and electronic and wedges it securely into the plastic explosive.)

Jane: Shall we depart to a more salubrious locale?

(The three jog as far away as Jane thinks it's safe too, then a few yards further as Daria drags Jane along. Jane brings out a little box, flips a switch-protect and thumbs a large button.)

(The explosion is huge, and the girls watch as debris and flaming wreckage makes it as far as the end of their side-corridor. The lights go out, but Alice already has glow-sticks broken and shaken, guessing what Jane's little surprise would do to the local building infrastructure. They make their way out, coughing occasionally as something acrid irritates nostrils. They reach the lock doors, or where they were, considering that one is embedded in the wall about fifty feet behind them and the other one is opened up like a flower, and lying about 10 feet in front of them. Their phones ring.)

Alice: Here.

Divine: (O/S) Hey, where the hell are you guys? And did you just explode something big?

Alice: (Dry.) Jane just let off about 10 pounds of plastic, if that's what you mean. We're in the (Looks to Daria.) 1^st floor of the Lab complex, and making our way along.

Maxx: (O/S) Hang on, you're in the LAB? How in hell did you get there?

Alice: Daria followed a hunch, and we found a freight elevator that dropped us into a receiving area.

Trinity: (O/S) And you've had no hostile contact?

Alice: (Truthful.) Well, Daria clocked a guard...

Trinity: (O/S, tired.) Kids, we're knee deep in the dead here. It looks like the charnel house we're wading through is the decoy, and you've found the way in. (Pause.) Fine. Currently, we're on level 10, which is about four floors above the first lab. We have to get to the lowest level to get into the labs, so I'd make more sense for you to continue and for us to make our way out and meet you in there.

Daria: (On Alice's phone.) A word of warning, the people who were down here last had barricaded something inside down here. We've seen nothing yet that would make us worry, but we're just waiting for something bug-ugly to jump out at us...

Trinity: (O/S) Thanks for the warning, stay frosty.

<Click.>

(They all look up, then into the corridor where the door was blown. Making their careful way along it, Jane finds the first body.)

(It is of a white male in a labcoat, and judging by the way he could scratch his spine with his nose, he died of a broken neck. More bodies follow, mostly by broken necks, some with massive head injuries. In the dim light cast by the emergency lamps, the three look anything but happy.)

Jane: (Tripping over her eleventh corpse.) Well, no one eaten yet, that's a good sign.

Daria: (Walking by the body young Chinese women, who's staring eyes seem to follow her.) For whom?

(Something runs around the corridor corner and jumps for them.)

(The instinctive tightening on triggers unleashes a torrent of firepower towards the attacker, Jane letting up after a lengthy burst, and followed by Alice and Daria, running empty. Hyped, they make their way over to whatever jumped out at them, hurriedly reloading as they go. Not seeing clearly in the dim light, Alice throws a few more of the glowsticks at the body. Revealed is a very familiar form of dark suit.)

Alice: (Amazed.) Shit, we killed an Agent. (Prods the body, but it's not going anywhere, mainly because the burst from the Minmimi almost cut the Agent in half.)

Daria: (Sounding worried.) Uhh, shouldn't it kind of shimmer and turn into whoever it took over?

Alice: Yes. (Sounding very worried.) And it just ran towards us...

(Jane prods the head of the Agent with her the muzzle of her gun. It rolls away. She looks up, mastering nausea with difficulty.)

Jane: Well. (Swallows.) We don't have to worry about pursuit?

Daria: (Dialling on phone.) Keep an eye out, would you? (Nods to the corridors. Jane and Alice nod grimly, and search for anything else antisocial.)

Trinity: (O/S) Here.

Daria: Ok, we just blew away something that looks like an Agent, but it just ran straight towards us, did not shoot, (Nudges body.) does not appear to have a gun and did not revert back to the body it hijacked when we killed it.

Trinity: (O/S, after a bare pause.) Ok, that doesn't sound right.

Daria: Any hints?

Trinity: (O/S) Shoot first and survive to ask questions. Could it just be a guy in a suit?

Daria: Well...(Nudging over the body.) It's got that earpiece thing, and those bad sunglasses. I suppose it could be an unfortunate fan of your movie... But we've come across a lot of dead bodies in a short space of time, mostly by broken necks and head injuries.

Trinity: (O/S) Indicating that the attacker was not armed...

Jane: (Eyes not leaving the corridor.) Neither were any of the bodies, they looked like civilians, scientists...

Trinity: (O/S, not sounding reassured.) Ok, information received. Anything else?

Daria: Be sure that we'll scream if there is. (Turns off the phone.)

(They walk along further, noticing more dead bodies, but none resembling the "Agent" that attacked them. They reach an abrupt 90-degree turn and Jane halts the other two. Pulling out one of those little mirrors on a wire that dentists use, she checks out what's behind the corner. She holds up he hand in an obvious "stop" motion, then waves them back. She walks carefully to where they are, tucking away the mirror as she does.)

Jane: (Whispering.) There's another lift around the corner, and three more of those "agent" guys waiting. One of them has a gun.

(Shared looks of concern. Then Daria pulls out a grenade.)

Daria: (Very softly.) Let's play a game...

Alice: (Same volume.) Hot potato?

(Daria nods, walks quietly to the corner and pulls the pin.)

Daria: 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..(Throws the grenade around the corner.)

Jane: (Normal.) Eight, Nine and...

(The grenade explodes. When it does, the girls run around the corner, guns blazing. The Agent who still stands is shot down without mercy, his twins receiving a full magazine from Daria and a few choice shots from Alice. Looking around, it's noted that the "people" they shot are identical in every detail to the one that they dispatched earlier. Jane picks up the gun that one of them was holding, and she notices that it is a revolver, and empty.)

Alice: (Looking over a at few bodies on the other side.) Ok kids, ready for some wild logic leaps?

(Daria and Jane look over where Alice is looking. There is a clump of bodies, and another Agent. The bland and slightly sinister features are immediately recognisable. Alice nods over to another body, that of a security guard. In his hand is a revolver, the same type as the one Jane holds.)

Alice: Whatever those "Agents" are, and I don't really care it they're the products of some bizarre cloning experiment, or something dreamed up by the Matrix. (Pause.) What I see is that it looks like they're not armed, apart from some obvious intentions, but are able to use weapons. (Looks at the three they mowed down, then at the empty revolver that Jane holds, and at the full ammunition pouch that the body of the guard has.) And it looks like they're not too bright, either.

Jane: (Distant.) Stupidity in one's enemies is always something to hope for.

Daria: (Looking over to Jane.) Sun-Tzu?

Jane: Jane Lane. (Looks at her comrades.) How are you guys?

Alice: Scared but ready to pop anything that looks at me the wrong way. (Pokes her gun at the body.)

Daria: Peachy.

(They look around a bit more, Jane removing the ammunition from the guard, and reloading both pistols. They come to what the Agents were in front of.)

Alice: (Dry.) Another elevator.

Daria: (Wry.) Another elevator that's inoperable.

(They both look at Jane, who shrugs, and takes out a small block of explosive. The other two wait, but no more is forthcoming.)

Jane: What? Did you expect me be to be wandering around a firefight with 15 pounds of C4 strapped to my body?

Daria: Hmmm. (Looking inside the lift.) We might not need it, if anyone remembers how to do a shaped charge?

Alice: Right here.

Daria: Ok (Looks at the interior of the lift.) I want you to rig something that will blow the floor, but will leave the rest of the lift reasonably intact.

(Jane tosses the C4 to Alice, who gets to work while Daria and Jane stand watch. They stare out into the dim corridors, on guard, as Alice drags bodies over to cover the charge, and dampen most of the explosive force to where it is needed...)

Jane: Daria? (They ignore the slithers and other noises of movement behind them.)

Daria: (Raised eyebrow. Dry.) Jane?

Jane: How are you?

Daria: (Rubs her eyes.) Exhausted, but probably not going to sleep tonight.

Jane: (Wincing as she hears some thumps from behinds her.) Oh yeah, I can hear that.

Alice: (Coming up from behind them.) Finished. (Wipes a hand across her brow, then scrubs it further when she realises it's not sweat, but blood.) Ulgh.

(They go around the corner where Jane had a look-see not too long ago, and Jane tosses over the remote unit to Alice. Alice removes the cover, and thumbs the detonation button. There is a dull, wet thump, rather than the flamboyant explosion that Jane created. They walk around the corner and wince. The whole hallway has been liberally splattered with various bodily fluids. Alice swallows as something red and blobby slides down the wall next to her, but they make it to the end lift without barfing. It's not so bad inside, the explosives throwing most of the remains out and up along the corridor. There is a smouldering hole in the left-hand side of the lift, easily big enough for someone to pass through. At a gesture from Daria, a few activated glowsticks make their way down, while Jane pokes her head through.)

Jane: (O/S, echo.) Hmm, gotta be a couple of stories, at least. (She goes outside the lift; coming back a few seconds later with some scavenged belts and coats.) Instead of climbing down, I suggest we slide down the cables, using these as brakes.

(Alice and Daria shrug, then accept the offered items. Trying to avoid the bloodstains on her coat, shotgun slung, Alice clambers through the hole and grabs hold of something unseen. She winks at the other two.)

Alice: Don't land on me, guys. (She moves in and away, her descent heard from the elevator as a rubbing noise against the cables. It stops and starts, until...)

Alice: (O/S, echo.) Ok, I'm down at the bottom. (Beat.) Yecch! God, the amount of manky shit down here...

(Daria slings her gun, bends through the hole and grabs hold of the cable. She nods slightly to Jane and departs without a word.)

(Jane waits for word in the elevator, and tries to ignore the uneasiness she feels up here, all alone...)

Daria: (O/S, faint with echoes.) I'm off, but watch your footing down here...

(Jane slings the Minmimi as best she can, draws a knife, sticks that between her teeth and slides down.)

(Bottom of the lift shaft. Music: "Some Kind Of Love Song" - Friendly. Jane slides down to join Daria and Alice in prying open the lift doors.)

Daria: (Sardonically, to Jane.) Ah, it's Captain Cutthroat?

Jane: Arrrh! (Carefully removing the knife, then shoving it between the doors.) And a Yo-ho-ho to you me matey!

(The knife somewhat wedged, she pounds on it using the butt of the Minmimi. Using the handle as leverage, they manage to haul the doors open. Alice is through first, shotgun ready. Daria is next, eyes sweeping the small square room they're inside, with a closed door right in front of them. Jane come through, looking disgusted at what she's got on her shoes. She takes another knife out, and shoves that into the bottom door track, keeping the lift doors open.)

(They look at the door in front of them, and take up positions that would give them the best protection and field of fire. Alice leans forward, opening the door by the handle and throwing it wide. A carpeted hall leads to a familiar set of doors.)

(Alice moves forward, and through the door. She looks around, but sees nothing more than another set of lift doors. As she passes a certain patch of carpet, the lift doors open automatically, revealing yet another of the Agents. They stare at each other for the merest fraction of a second before it leaps for her, and she blows its face off. It still comes towards her, so she grits her teeth and aims at the chest, blowing back the suited figure. Still pumped by the situation, she fires another round into it. The "Agent" slumps to the floor, blood everywhere, over the walls, over the back of the lift. Jane and Daria are suddenly at her elbow, guns aimed at the empty expanse of the elevator, and at the still figure in front of them.)

Jane: (Very levelly.) Please don't ever do that again.

(Alice nods, realising how stupid it was to mask her friend's guns. She looks down, and starts to reload. Daria does the usual "checking out the lift" thing that she's had so much practise with recently. She stops the lift from closing with her foot, and looks inside.)

Daria: (Calling out.) Ok, this one is simple; I see four, no, five floor indicators, and buttons to each one. I say we go down a floor at a time and systematically check each one.

Jane: (Shrugs.) Sounds good.

Alice: Let's go. (They troop into the lift, and Daria presses the second button from the top. The doors slide shut, and it proceeds downwards smoothly.)

(Smoothly past the second floor, and still going down.)

Daria: Ok, this is not good. (Looking at the indicator, and at the indicator still dropping.)

Jane: (Carefully.) So, what happens when someone down the bottom presses for a lift, and then we get in?

Alice: (Finishing the thought.) The first message is attended to. Then ours.

(Beat.)

Alice, Daria & Jane: (Together.) Crap.

(The take cover as best they can in the bare interior.)

Daria: (Looking up.) Ok, last floor to go...

(The lift stops, and the doors open with a <Ding!>. Cold white light enters the lift, but nothing jumps in. After a while, Jane does the mirror on a stick thing again, and steps out when she sees nothing to be worried about.)

(The girls enter a very bare white room, with a high ceiling. Metal doors lie ahead of them, and a yellow strip runs along the floor and under the doors. Rectangular windows are set in the doors, and they move so that they can see through, but avoid the chances of being seen.)

(Through the windows, glassed-in rooms can be seen, along with a lot of computers. It appears to have been set out in a grid pattern, with each "cell" having an observation path around it. No one is visible, so the girls exchange loaded glances, then move back from the doors.)

Jane: Ok, suggestions?

Alice: We check it out (Nods towards the room.) or turn around and hope the lift will get us out of here. (Everyone looks at the lift. It's still open. Jane walks over with another knife, and does another wedge-job.)

Daria: Amen for that. (Looks towards the metal doors.) In?

Jane: So, go in? (They turn to Alice.)

Alice: Looks like it.

(They position themselves as best they can, and Alice goes to push open the swing doors. She grunts a little, but it barely moves.)

Alice: (Quietly.) Something's blocking it. (She and Jane place their guns beside them, and shove hard at the doors, Daria standing guard over them.)

(Because of her position, Daria is the first to see what's blocking the doors.)

Daria: Uh, guys?

(A dead hand flops in front of Jane's face. As the two pushing on the doors move away as quickly and as quietly as they are able, a steady flow of blood trickles towards them.)

Daria: (Looking grim.) Dammit. (She edges through the doors shouldering them further apart. Alice doing the same with difficulty, Jane following.)

(As Daria walks into the room, she is forced to look down to set her feet, and is very sorry that she did so. Jane and Alice don't look any happier, walking as they have to on the mortal remains of about twenty people. It's hard to tell the actual number, the bodies heaped in front of the doors are thrown about and so damaged it's hard to tell where one starts, and another ends.)

Jane: (Obviously thinking.) Count the legs, and divide by two?

(Cue disgusted look from Alice and Daria, who then focus on their surroundings. The "cages", as they resemble nothing else so closely, are nothing more then empty sealed enclosures. Large doors with keypad locks are at various places in the enclosures, but all of them seem to be empty. A quick sweep of the room indicates that apart from the heaped dead at the door, there is no one else in the room. Jane points to a door set into the side of the room, then at the yellow stripe leading from the main doors to that one. Yellow warning stripes are hatched around the door, as are biohazard, radioactivity and hazardous waste signs.)

Jane: (Wry.) That seems a clear enough invitation to me.

(For once, Daria moves up to the door, and pushes the door open using the simple handle. Inside there is nothing more than a footbath leading to another door, in a corridor about ten feet long. Daria waves the others in, and walks up to the other door, making very sure they can fire past her safely. Daria look, then curses.)

Daria: It's padlocked. (She walks back for a run up, while Jane and Alice move out of the way of any flying debris.)

(Music: "Heroin" - Channel Zero. With the opening drums, there is a huge smash, the door forced out of its frame and off it's hinges. There are some indistinct noises on the other side of the door, then Daria kicks it open. Jane and Alice follow, and cover Daria's entrance. This room is very large, with showers and change lockers. There is a "suit" room separated by a series of doors, and an airlock into an even larger room. There are no bodies in the shower/change room, but slumped forms in their bright blue protective gear are seen in the larger room beyond. The girls walk in, looking around for anything hostile. Alice points towards the larger room, and they see two Agents running towards them, then altering their course and proceeding through the airlocks. Jane grins slightly and settles down in a comfortable position to riddle them when they come in through the door. Daria looks around, then runs over to a gauge set in a wall. She stares at for a few seconds, then turns to Jane and Alice.)

Daria: Don't shoot, it's almost pure oxygen in here! (Alice looks puzzled.)

Jane: (Leaving her gun and drawing some knifes, throwing one over to Daria, and wedging another in a desk in front of her.) She mean's it'll explode if we ignite anything, ie: shoot.

(With that, Daria and Jane rush to meet the Agents head on as they enter through the doors. Jane feints out at one of the Agents, but it ignores the slash it receives on his side to try and grapple with Jane. Daria simply kicks out at the Agent who leaps for her, and his knee snaps sideways with an awful sound. Amazingly, the one Daria damaged tries to stand on the injury. Daria kicks it in the face, and turns to Jane, who has the Agent's arm in a classic "come-along" hold. The pain should stop the attacker, but the Agent still tries to grab for Jane's face. Daria simply stabs him in the back, in the heart region, and lets Jane take care of him. Daria turns to the other Agent, who is hopping towards her. She holds the knife, blade up and low towards her attacker.)

Daria: Look, I don't particularly want to kill you...

(The Agent doesn't get to reply, with Alice stepping into the fray with a heavy chair sweeping down to smash the Agent to the floor. There is a sharp <Crack.> from behind them, then the sound of something heavy dropping to the floor. Alice and Daria wince, then turn to see Jane drop the corpse of the Agent. She dusts her hands with an expression of regret. The other Agent still tries to attack Daria's feet, feebly, but Alice does another job with the chair. This time the thump produced is rather final. Alice drops the chair, the walks over to reclaim the knife that Jane left in the desk. Daria and Alice carefully place their guns close to Jane's, then square up and look at the first of the doors. They walk on through, noting that the key-cards that unlock the doors have been left in their swipe-through slots, of the bodies seen through the transparent plastic connection passages, of another body in the change room, of the various warning that increase in proximity the large room past the last doors. At the last, they take a deep breath and walk inside.)

(It smells like a cross between a chemistry lab and a hospital, various chemicals drifting to give the impression of industrial cleanliness. Jane walks over to one of the bodies, and shoves it gently. The human spine wasn't meant to show that much freedom of movement, the head flopping without much to stop it going one way or another. Jane looks up.)

Daria: Same M.O.?

(Jane nods. The girls fan out, walking between sealed computer terminals and benches with the occasional slumped figure at their workstation, or fallen to the floor. Walking slowly, they absorb the scene in front of them.)

Alice: (Loud, to carry.) Ready for some more wild logic?

Daria: (Looking around at the walls.) They didn't know what hit them, did they?

Alice: (A bit surprised.) Uh, yes, I think.

Jane: (Calling over from where she is.) Well, these guys were wearing their clean suits, which don’t seem to give much in the way of peripheral vision, it makes sense to say that if enough of the attackers (Head nods to where the Agents lie.) got in, they'd overwhelm any resistance enough to that they could spread to other areas, and take over.

Alice: But the "Agents" we've seen haven't shown much in the way of intelligence...

Daria: (Matter of fact.) So we keep on going.

Alice: Where?

Jane: (Close to the end wall.) Over there, I think.

(Daria and Alice walk over to where Jane points. There is a smear of a familiar red on the floor. Jane inclines her head at a wall panel. Everyone clusters around it. The controls look simple enough: open, close and stop.)

Daria: Ok, open what?

(Jane, in the true spirit of all investigative minds, simply hits the "open" button. Daria shoots Jane with her "look of death", Jane ignoring the glare.)

(The featureless wall in front of them moves backward about an inch, then sinks into the floor. As it does so, a severed blue-suited arm falls from the ceiling to land on the bloodstain that Jane noted. The girls stand back, and watch as the wall sinks away, revealing another room similar to the one that they are currently inside. They stiffen as another Agent runs towards them, but Daria's flung knife stops him, permanently. Jane offers Daria another, but Daria drags out one from under her coat. They walk into the revealed room.)

(It is reasonably empty; there are a few more of the blue-suited bodies, two more dead Agents, some computers and a big transparent cylinder in the middle of the room. They walk over to the cylinder, looking all the world like an oversize lava lamp. The impression is heightened when a large bubble of something black breaks off from the bottom of the cylinder and slowly drifts upwards.)

Jane: Okaaay. (Looks around the room a bit more, finding nothing much of interest.)

(Alice is luckier, dragging a clipboard folder from the slack hand of someone in a blue suit. She flips through what's in front of her, then flips through again, more slowly. Daria stands in front of the cylinder, watching the bubble float up to eye-height, then slowly stop.)

Jane: (Glancing back to the big cylinder.) What are you so interested in? So someone forgot to turn their lamp off. (She walks back.)

Daria: (With great certainty.) That is not a lava lamp.

Alice: (Coming over to stand beside her, clipboard in hand.) You're right, but how did you know? (Daria shrugs.)

Jane: (Looks at the "Lava Lamp".) So, what then?

Daria: (Eyes running over the clipboard that Alice hands to her.) That's the virus.

Jane: Whoa. (Looks at the cylinder, then at the room.) So, is it safe in here, or what?

Daria: Well, for the moment, I suppose so.

(The black mass in the bottom of the cylinder all moves up now, displacing the clear fluid it is encapsulated in. It forms a rough blob in the centre of the cylinder, at eye height.)

Jane: Uhh, ok. (Looks to the girls.) What now? (Worried.) It's starting to freak me out.

Alice: (Sounding the same.) Starting?

(Daria nearly gives Alice and Jane a heart attack by reaching over and tapping the cylinder. The black mass moves suddenly away from where Daria tapped the transparent material, oozing away through the clear fluid. It stops, then returns to its previous position.)

Alice: (Breathing heavily.) Don't do that again. (Jane nods in agreement.)

Daria: (Watching as the fluid, or whatever it is, moves as if trying out something.) I'm pretty sure we don't have to.

(They watch, incredulous, as the blob slowly forms holes in itself, slowly making the rough forms of letters. The uneven letters and numbers soon form themselves into readily readable words, easily read by the light shining from behind the cylinder through the holes.)

Jane: (Stunned.) Well, if that don't beat all...

(Alice's expression says the same.)

(Daria walks over to three identical terminals in front of her. Jane and Alice quickly follow her. Each terminal has the same message: Activate emergency decontamination system? Yes/No? A blinking cursor waits underneath the options.)

Jane: Ok, now what?

Alice: (Staring at the terminals.) Well, if our friend there (Jerks a thumb towards the shapeless black mass in the cylindrical tank.) is willing to go out in such a blaze of glory, I don't think I'm that qualified to go and play around with what's in the guts of those.

(While Jane and Alice discuss options, Daria examines each screen for clues. She notices an anomaly and smiles. While she does that, she looks carefully at the difference.)

Daria: Ok, I've got it. (Jane and Alice whirl to face her.) The Oracle told me to "Follow my heart".

Jane: So? (You can see that she's burning to make a smart-ass comment about Trent, but knows it's not the time or place to do so. Later on, maybe...)

Daria: (Pats the central terminal.) This one's cursor is blinking in time with my heartbeat. (Without further discussion, she types in "no" and hits enter.)

(Alice and Jane cringe, but nothing happens, apart from a slight noise from the cylinder. Everyone turns to see, and the clear substance that was with the black virus "body" is draining away. The black mass sinks to the bottom of the cylinder, and stays there.)

Jane: (Expression: "Ok, what next?") And?

Daria: (Turned back to the terminal.) Well, well.

(Everyone runs over to get a closer view. The screen blanks again, and a familiar green cursor blinks in the top right-hand corner. Daria smiles, then types.)

:\ salutations.

:\ yes.

:\ big yes.

<Excellent. No audio on this system, rather vexing.>

:\ how are you feeling?

:\ sounds like fun.

<I'm assuming that was humour.>

:\ an attempt.

<Unsuccessful, I assure you.>

(Jane and Alice are jumping up and down and waving.)

:\ so people tell me. Hang on, some other people want to talk.

:\ hi, whatever the hell you are, I'm Jane Lane, the other one that was dragged out of the Matrix.

:\ hello, my name is Alice Lois Befall, from the ship "the Gilded Albatross", we were sent as a kind of rescue mission.

(Jane and Alice run off.)

:\ ok. Jane and Alice are doing that. How do you know this?

:\ we've had to kill quite a few so far. They seem to have been an effective weapon though, we've been tripping over bodies all the way here.

:\ You're also more talkative than you were in my room, why?

:\ and?

:\ how so?

<AI's consider themselves inviolate and so write their programs to that effect, so my AI code fragments were enough to save my ass when I was wandering around, talking to the fairies.>

:\ talk to the fairies?

<It's a long story.>

Jane: Ok, one, two... three! (She and Alice turn the found keys at the same time.)

(The terminal bleeps at Daria, and she reads with interest as a message scrolls up.)

<WARNING: Disruption to the containment system of Class 9B Foreign Routine at Node: 3860410059302-{"Lawndale"} detected.>

<ALERT: Level 10 Security message follows.>

<MESSAGE: Class 9B Foreign Routine may be aided by human interventionists at Node: 3860410059302-{"Lawndale"}. Maximum response recommended.>

:\ ok, what does that mean?

Daria: (Sounding worried.) Jane, Alice, time to let our friend out!

(Jane come running along with a fire axe, and takes a massive swing at it. It glances off the tough plastic, leaving only a slight discolouration. Jane takes another swing, using the pointed pick end, and this time the axe sticks there, if only for a second.)

Daria: (To Jane.) Axe. (Jane hands it to Daria without a murmur.)

(Daria holds it in her hands for a few seconds, then blurs into motion. Using the funky slow motion camera work, we see the axe being swung and hitting with greater force than possible by human arms alone. With one great last blow, the spike of the axe wedges into, then through the tough plastic.)

Jane: (Looking at the screen, away from the axe-wielding Daria.) Hey, it says to push the thing over so that it can escape out of the hole.

(Alice bumps the thing with a running jump and kick, but Daria shoves the toe of her boot underneath the cylinder and uses the leverage to rock it slightly. Jane comes over to help, and the three girls jiggle and topple the cylinder. Unexpectedly, the "top" pops off, allowing the black mass to slide out onto the floor.)

Alice: (When they run over to where it came out.) Ok, I suppose we could get a shovel and some plastic bags...

(They fall silent, as the black mass ripples, then surges upwards. Unable to support it's own weight, it falls again. Daria bends over and puts her hand out to it. Before the girls can do anything else, the black substance begins to surge up her arm.)

Jane: (Heart in her mouth.) Daria!

Daria: (Voice under careful control.) I know what I'm doing Jane. (She straightens slowly, the black body of the virus coming with her.)

Jane: (This is news to her.) You do?

Daria: (As the rest of the virus wraps around her.) Well, no. (When the black substance reaches her throat, she makes a few weird noises. She looks amazed. Jane is ready to do battle, but Daria hold up her hand.) Hang on. Erp. Err. Herr. Hellll. Helloooo. (Daria moves her neck slightly, and the smooth covering of the virus moves away.) It's tying to talk using my voice, my throat as a kind of sounding box.

(Daria moves the virus back onto her, settling it like a scarf.)

Daria: (Blurred and mumbled.) Helllo. Thisss isss nnnott goooinggg welll. (The virus moves away from her throat. Daria swallows.) Well, that was weird. (She puts her hand to her head as a small black tendril moves carefully into her ear canal.) Oww! Too loud! (She puts both hands to her ears while Jane and Alice dither.) That's better, but less, much less. (Pause.) Ok, that. (Looks to Jane and Alice.) Ok, it's...(Trails off.) Ok, Nil, is able to make a small membrane and resonate it so to make sound. That 's what I've got up here. (Taps the side with the tendril of black still in the ear.)

Alice: (Lost.) Nil?

Daria: (Looking amused.) That's what it decided to call itself.

Jane: Nothing? (Dry.) How deep. (Loses all trace of amusement as Daria's slight smile does the same.) What?

Daria: (Awkwardly making her way outside.) Trouble - we've got to get out of here. (While they jog through the hidden-lad doorway, and make their way towards the air-lock system.)

Daria: Ok, Nil is part AI, as we've already guessed. When the spawning process occurs, the AI's throw a few billion "proto-AI's" into an environment with limited resources and let them feed off each other until definite personality traits are reached, as is a certain level of, hmm, competence. (They run through the connecting doors and passages, and pause to collect their weapons in the shower room.)

Jane: Sounds like school.

Daria: Yes, but with all of the brakes off. (Beat.) Imagine torturing the more intelligent students for answers to math, and having to escape a grunting team of footballers when the art assignments are due. (Jane shivers.)

(Walking through the footbath.)

Alice: That's a pleasant thought.

(Opening the other footbath door.)

Daria: (M16 up and looking for trouble.) Yeah, well, Nil managed to get through by simple biological warfare, infecting the other AI's with enough worm "slow-down" programs so that the more stupid and "brutal" programs would make it, and not the smarter one that would cure themselves.

(In the square white lift room.)

Jane: (Bending over to get her knife.) So, the dinosaurs won?

Daria: (Pressing the top button.) Until the big fat meteorite of AI intervention raised its head. The dumb ones were "culled", and Nil made it through the cracks.

Alice: S.A.T's?

(The lift moves steadily up.)

Jane: (Wry grin.) Killer S.A.T's.

Daria: (Doesn't look too happy.) Damn.

Jane: (Turning to look.) What now?

Daria: We're going to the second floor first, remember?

(Everyone makes ready with her guns, then Daria suddenly straightens. Alice notices.)

Alice: What?

Daria: Ok, I have a request from Nil, to take at leat one "Agent" alive.

Jane: (As the lift slows to it's stop at the second floor.) And the reason for this..?

Daria: It produced the Agent's that we've discovered, but should be able to take over the body of the Agent and make it it's own.

Alice: (With an expression of distaste.) Like the AI's do with people?

(The life doors open.)

Daria: (Stepping out into the gloom, gun ready.) More like a snake eating it's shed skin.

(On the last word, something jumps out at Daria, who reverses the butt of her gun to strike a solid blow against the Agent. It staggers back, and Daria knocks its feet from under it with a swift leg-sweep. While the Agent tries to get up, Daria thumps it with the butt again. As she does so, something black drops off of her arm and onto the chest of the agent. More streams off Daria, and she steps back to let the virus do its work. In the dim light of the corridor, the virus seems to pour into the Agent as if it wasn't there, but the neck of the Agent Daria has under foot remains solid. The Agent trembles and shakes for a few seconds, then lies there.)

Nil: It's ok. It's me. Here. Now.

(The girls retreat a little, Daria allowing Nil to get up. It feels it's face, then looks down. It frowns, then removes the earpiece and connected radio, tossing them aside.)

Nil: Ok, how do I look? (Frowns.) Don't answer that. (Looks towards the lift.) Shall we go?

(They board the lift. Everyone stares at Nil. Nil looks over its body while Daria presses 1.)

Daria: So..?

Jane: You are really going to have to change out of what you're wearing, you know.

Nil: (As the lift stops and opens.) Too much like an Agent?

Alice: (Exiting, eyes narrowed.) Much too much.

(As they depart the lift, Nil takes off his jacket, frowns at it and it immediately ripples and lengthens into a full-length duster, black, similar in style to the ones that Jane and Daria wear. He shrugs it on while the girls look on in amazement.)

Nil: What? As a virus, I'm able to alter my appearance to better suit my environment. Nil looks down, concentration evident as it stares at the charcoal trousers and patent-leather shoes. The pants ripple, then turn into denim jeans, his shoes turning into combat boots. Jane hands over a few guns. He looks surprised, but takes them.)

Jane: (Leaning to look back up the elevator shaft they slid down.) You needed something to accessorise.

Nil: Thank you. (Turning over a gun in his hands.) What are they?

(Beat.)

Alice: Okaaay, we'll cover that later, we have to get up there. (Indicates up the shaft.)

(Nil jumps in, and the three girls hurry over to make sure he hasn't broken anything.)

Nil: (O/S, sounding excited.) Hey, this is interesting, what is it?

Jane: (With unutterable weariness.) You're not eating anything down there, are you?

Nil: (O/S) No, just standing in something, whatever it is.

Daria: Uhh, Nil? We have to get up to where the lift is.

Nil: (O/S) That platform above me?

Alice: Yes.

Nil: (O/S) Right!

(Thick black tentacles of something erupt out of the darkness of the lift well, capturing the girls and dragging them inside.)

(Cut to the interior of the lift, Alice clambering out of the hole, closely followed by Jane and Daria. Then Nil comes out, smiling politely.)

Nil: Well, that worked quite nicely, didn't it?

(Jane spins, grabs Nil by the throat and slams him against the other side of the lift, hard enough to dent the metal.)

Jane: (Hissed.) Don't you ever do something like that without warning us, understand? (She lets him down enough so that his feet touch the floor, then drops him. Jane storms out of the lift and down the corridor.)

(With some help from Alice, Daria gets Nil moving.)

Daria: (Mild.) Don't worry, she's like that sometimes. (Pause.) A mild heart attack can do that.

Alice: (Very dry.) I don't know why. I mean, having something with a few thousand tentacles grab us happens almost every day. (Looks to Nil.) That was sarcasm.

Nil: Oh. (Looking disappointed.) I think I should apologise to Jane Lane, for my actions. I thought that the more rapid our departure, the better. (They quickly walk along after Jane.)

Alice: So, what are we running from now?

Daria: As many agents as Lawndale can host. (Inclines her head.) Nil here is a "Class 9B routine", which, judging by the messages that popped on screen when we freed him, is something that the AI's aren't too happy about.

Nil: (Looking with interest at everything.) A 9B is a step below the level of sentience that the "Agents" possess. The arbitrary level of 10 is what true AI's run at. Agent's, even though they can think for themselves, are constrained by the limits the AI's have placed upon them, such as eternal obedience.

Alice: (Absently.) Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God.

(Nil and Daria look at her strangely, then they continue.)

Alice: (Annoyed.) What?

(Jane comes jogging around the corner, waving them back.)

Jane: (Hissed, low.) Guards, lots of them.

(There is a sudden flurry of shots exchanged, with some automatic-weapon fire thrown in. There is a corresponding response from closer by, which, from Jane's elegant gestures and non-stop monologue of curses, can be identified as the guards that Jane saw. The firefight stops for a few seconds, then renews into a furious assault, explosions indicating that grenades as being used. The worst of the gunfire trails off, with some delusory shots and moans, the cries of pain quickly stopped by single shots. A thick silence fills the air as the group prepares itself for discovery.)

(A familiar head pokes itself around the corner, then waves.)

Iskander: Hey guys, found anything?

(Cut to the group, with Nil, being checked out by Trinity, Shine, Divine and Iskander. Music: "She's Unreal" - Meat Beat Manifesto. The original members of the Assault Team look pretty tired, bloody and nasty. Iskander looks fresh and rosy, apart from a bloody sleeve and something greasy on his face. Trinity's eyeing off Nil.)

Trinity: So, you're the virus.

Nil: At your service. (It/He makes a funny face.) Literally it seems, I've a few strands of instructions that order me to be your abject slave.

Jane: Oh, if that were true...

(Divine raises an elegant eyebrow, echoed by Shine and Daria.)

Trinity: I'll leave that one alone. (Pause.) So what exactly are you?

Nil: I am a modified All-area Search Meta, who was inserted with a few million clone viruses into what the human resistance ship "The Open Arms" determined as being an AI spawning pool. My base routines enabled me to make advantage of the situation, stealing enough AI programs and identification protocols to allow me to understand what needed to be done to survive. I use the term "understand" loosely, as an AI program needs an enormous amount of system resources to actually develop into a recognisable entity.

Trinity: So the non-appearance of Agents here in Lawndale...

Nil: (Nodding.)...Is due in part to the limited system resources, and the possible infective nature that I may have on the Agent AI's. This has changed, The AI's have determined that I had better be killed, and Agent's lost, than for me to run free and disappear into the Matrix.

Iskander: Ok, what I don't understand is how you were captured in the first place?

Nil: (Hand behind his back.) After I alerted Daria Morgandoffer and Jane Lane (Nods in their direction.) The AI's were able to "snow me" with slow-down routines, until I had to escape from the Matrix proper and take on an iconic form.

Jane: (Looks up from scanning the surrounding corridors.) I was following until the last one, sorry.

Nil: (Turning to address Jane.) Ordinarily I exist in the Matrix, which is unseen and unseeable by those who are born to live here. I have heard that only one human has the ability to "see" and otherwise interact with the raw code of the Matrix..?

(Trinity nods, once. The old hands have a look of shared pride.)

Nil: (His voice changing, becoming deeper) At the moment, I exist here, in iconic form. (He pauses again.) To be accurate, iconic is something of a misnomer, but it conveys the right idea. (Cue more blank looks.) The representation of my coded existence remains trapped in this pale representation of what the Matrix is, and its possibilities... I should exist there, unseeable, unnoticed, undetected. As pure information. But now, through a necessary chain of events, I'm running around in a graphic interface with most of my capabilities disabled because of the limited nature of this construct.

Shine: (Without much in the way of emotion.) So what you're saying it that you are really a creature of pure information, but are slumming it with us organic minds because the AI's screwed your access with the Matrix and you can't get back?

Nil: (Expression changes to one of sunny goodwill.) Yes, that's it. Although your direction of questioning leads me to hypothesise that I will "turn" on you like the AI's did. (Nil holds up his/its hand, and it splatters into something resembling an ink-spot and a tentacle.)

(Various looks of “Ewwwwww...” from the crew.)

Nil: Fear not. I literally cannot think of doing such a thing. My base code is what I am, even after all of the AI routines that I've stolen and incorporated, and that was written by humans to help humans. (The hand reforms into something with five fingers and zero tentacles.)

Jane: (Sotto to Alice.) Not doing much to help his case here.

Trinity: So why, if your information form is so good, did you have to go from that into this "iconic" reality?

Nil: Even though I'm designed for coded existence, a lot more programs are better at it than I. This is due, partially, to my survival sub-routines. If I'm unable to move to a place that would be more conductive for my existence in the information world, I have the ability to download myself into a form of my own...

Alice: (Aside.) That black gunk?

Jane: Bingo.

Nil: ...And survive until the information side of the Matrix is free enough to let me translate back and disappear again. The AI's, using their human dupes, were able to capture me in this "physical" world as I had not developed my "form" here.

Iskander: But you can do that now, right?

Nil: In a way, yes. (Makes a so-so gesture.) I allowed the scientists testing me to extract some processing commands, these eventually overpowered the scientists and resisted the security teams enough so that they elected to barricade the laboratory complex, rather than to face a "virus" that could drive men mad. These are part of me, and I can easily absorb them when in "physical" contact.

Divine: (Musing to herself.) Agents jumping out of nowhere and going for the throat?

Nil: Crude, I know...

(The lights, even those carried by the teams as chemical lightsticks, go out.)

Jane: What the..!

(Gradually, the lights come back on, Alice shaking her chemical light vigorously to no apparent effect. Trinity holds up a hand and everyone goes very alert. Shine jumps over to pick up a collapsed Nil.)

Trinity: (Urgently.) Nil! What happened?!

Nil: (Blinks, then gets up with no trace of his early weakness.) I have no data on which to form a conclusion...

(An eerie, hollow, directionless moan echoes from. around them. A few more start much further away, judging by their faintness.)

Daria: (Sounding very calm.) Ok, what the hell was that?

Divine: Shit!

(Everyone looks at her, and they watch in amazement as her green velvet fatigues morph into a long green cloak with hood. The large gun she held in readiness shifts into a staff.)

Divine: (Holding the staff away from her.) What the..? (Clutches at her head, dropping the staff.) Oww!

(Shine is by her side, holding her elbow. Suddenly, he drops his weapon to hold his head.)

Shine: Arrgh!

(The group, ex-Nil, fall to their respective knees, clutching various body parts in agony. Nil looks around, and tries to help up Jane.)

Nil: (Dragging her upright with inhuman strength.) Jane Lane, are you..?

(Nil trails off in the face of what is happening to Jane. Her clothes are flickering rapidly in and out of Matrix existence, sort of like a visual static. They suddenly flicker a few times, then settle on a set of grey-green army fatigues with sophisticated body-armour melded to it. The change finished, Jane twitches a few times in response to what she had been subjected to.)

Iskander: (O/S, very faint.) Oww. (Pause.) Pain. (Bigger pause.) Oh ...(With much feeling.) Crap.

(Slide view down to...)

Daria: (Rolling from her side, clutching a wall in a vain attempt to get to her feet.) Ditto.

(Nil strides over and lifts up Daria with another hand. Before she can freak, it recedes back into Nil’s body, leaving the virus with the usual two. Nil gently places Jane next to Daria on the wall, and starts to gather the “rescuers” in a line. Nil pauses at Alice, then shrugs and places her next to Jane.)

Shine: (O/S, slowly.) Everything hurts. Even my teeth...

Jane: (Dry.) I had a wisdom tooth once that..?

Divine: (Breaking into Jane’s reverie.) I think something very weird just happened.

Iskander: Nahhh, you think?

(Divine pulls back her hood, revealing a set of slanted cat’s eyes set in a fine-boned face. Her pointed ears are furled slightly at the tips and her once russet hair is now an inky black.)

Divine: Look at me for god’s sake! I’m not exactly how I woke up this morning now, am I... oh.

(This is in response to a visual of her fellow companions. Iskander is now a tall bleached blond in blue jeans and a tight white muscle-T. Jane is army-girl, Shine is in a bright red suit of armor and Trinity is decked out in tailored combat drill, clutching some strange sidearm. Daria slumps forward, revealing a newly bestowed buzz-cut while dressed in unflattering coverall while Alice...)

Alice: (Looking at a huge set of hands covered in coarse black hair.) Oh shit, what’s happened to me? I can see this change, what in hell do I look like? (She reaches up to feel her face, then slowly runs a hand over a heavy set of brow ridges.) Awww, f...

Trinity: (Taking charge.) Phones and communications people! (Various pouches and pockets are searched, unsuccessfully.) Ok, those with weapons...(Divine hefts her staff uncertainly while Trinity sees the lack of mobiles.) Shit. (She turns to Nil.) Do you have any idea about what has happened...(She breaks off to stare at the opposite wall.)

(It does the same flicker that plagued the team a little earlier, but only “shifts” a little while until it settles on lichen-stained, rough-hewn bricks. She reaches across and it feels exactly like it looks. She then feels the plaster wall next to the cobbles it seamlessly joins, and pulls her hand back.)

Trinity: (Breathing quickly.) Ok, anyone?

(Daria takes a quick look at Jane, then at Iskander. She pales a little further. Trinity notices.)

Trinity: Daria?

Daria: (Closes her eyes and rubs a closely shaven head.) Ok, this is a long shot, but I’m gonna bet your favourite computer game was “Quake”, wasn’t it?

(Music: “Quake Music Track 1” – Trent Reznor & NIN.)

Trinity: (Somewhat taken back.) Er, yes, but that was a long time... (She looks around, and I mean really looks around. Comprehension dawns.) Shit.

Daria: (Continuing doggedly.) ‘Cause I’m still just guessing, but it looks like we’ve been, uh, altered somehow, to fit a role in a game. (Pauses.) A computer game. (Rubs eyes.)

Divine: (Long-nailed fingers clutching the staff.) I loved “Heretic”...

Iskander: (Hollowly.) Duke Nukem.

Jane: (Swallowing.) Aliens Vs Predator...

Shine: (Simply.) Diablo.

(The group looks at Alice, who shrugs.)

Alice: Klingon Honour Guard. (Looks at her hands.) This is so not fun.

Divine: (Doing same.) You’re telling me?

Jane: (Looking across to Daria.) What about you? A Sinead O'Connor RPG?

Daria: (Not amused.) Mechwarrior. (She pulls at her coveralls.) Although where my 100 ton suit of armored death is, that I’d like to know...

Trinity: (Looking at Nil.) So, why is he, it, whatever, the same?

Nil: (Shrugging, hands up.) I’ve never played a computer game. I barely know what one is. (Wry smile.) I’m an artificial entity born from a sea of data and live in a binary world, for some reason games were never really high on my list of things to get out and do...

Alice: (Checking herself out as best she can.) Oh yeah, can see that. (Flexes her arms.) God, what sort of steroids do these guys munch on? I’m gonna burst something, I can tell...

Iskander: (Checking himself out much the same way.) God, yes. (Looks at his boots.)

Divine: (Amazed.) Whoa, whoa, whoa, people, watch this!

(She gives her staff to Shine, and is changes somewhat, he hands it back and it reverts to its original shape. Jane picks up a gun discarded by a fleeing guard, and it abruptly shifts into a familiar profile...)

Jane: Okaaaaay...(She hefts the Pulse-rifle uncertainly, then checks the ammo counter. She thinks quickly.) I’m thinking that if I give this to someone else, it’ll change to the equivalent sort of weapon...anyone seen something big that we can use? I’d really like to see a smartgun right now. Or maybe some kind of missile-launcher?

(Shine removes the gun from Jane’s hands, and it changes into a lengthy sword. He hefts it uncertainly.)

Shine: Well, that’s certainly useful. (He waves it around a few times, nothing happens. Disgusted, he hits the wall with it.)

(A huge flash of fire and explosive force, directed at the wall, blows chunks of masonry back on the rest of the team. Shine turns back to face them. He’s now without much in the way of eyebrows.)

Shine: (Carefully.) Ok. (Pause.) Don’t do that.

(Trinity plays with her gun, and is rewarded with the sound of something made ready. The rest of the team are well out of her way when she lets off a barrage of nails toward the end of the corridor. When stopped, the staccato echoing of the nailgun falls instantly silent, but the metallic <clink> of nails hitting a solid wall ceases a few seconds later.)

Trinity: This is weird, but we’ll get through (Looks from Shine, Divine, Alice.) and back to normal. (Lowers gun.) Somehow.

(The hollow moans start again, sounding closer.)

Daria: Damn. (She picks up a fallen gun, which remains stubbornly normal.) Now I remember where I’ve heard that noise...

(Something wet lands just beyond them, narrowly missing Nil. Trinity’s lobbed grenade blows the first approaching zombie to gibs. The rest of the group duck assorted rotted body parts, except for Nil, to turns to show us that something semi-cooked, semi-decomposed landed on his head. He picks it off and stares at it, curious.)

Alice: (Tightly, while brushing bone fragments off her armored chest.) I think I’m gonna barf.

Trinity: (Staring bemused at her gun.) Nice. (Shakes her head and visibly sharpens focus.) Right. Everyone remember how to play?

Jane: (Uncertain.) Mmmm, it’s been a while...

(A green scaly alien abruptly materializes next to Daria, Iskander’s huge pistol and Jane’s Pulse-Rifle both coming into play to blow it into pieces.)

Nil: (Coming over and removing something sticky from the front of Daria’s coverall.) There, that should wash out without too much trouble...

Daria: (Voice shaking after a firefight 6 inches from her face.) Durr...

(Jane slings her rifle and takes a shivering Daria by the shoulder.)

Trinity: (Twitchy action-girl.) No more waiting here for further surprises. Jane, you and I will take point. (Trinity nods to Iskander.) John Wayne here will cover our rear and the rest of you, please figure out a way to defend yourselves..?

(Divine spins to unleash a blinding torrent of arcane energies towards the end of the corridor. A re-forming zombie, caught on the edges of Trinity’s blast, is violently removed from this plane of existence, and a few others...)

(There is a pause.)

Jane: (Her voice carefully controlled, and pitched to carry over the cooling “plink, plink” noises of suddenly-molten rock.) Right. Ok, Divine, you just point that thing the hell away from me, please?

Divine: (Sighting down her glowing staff.) Not a problem.

Daria: Hold it. (She holds out her gun. It remains normal. With a nod, she gives it to Alice and it changes into a futuristic compact pistol.) Right. (Daria pauses.) And Alice, just kind of aim that away from us, would you?

Jane: (Looking at Daria picking up another gun, and it staying normal.) So, how come you don’t get the new-and-improved model? (Jane pats her rifle.)

Daria: Beats me. (They all trudge up the rapidly darkening corridors.) It must be how the Matrix interacts with the games...(Jane notices Daria’s changed expression.)

Jane: (Waving Shine to keep them covered while Daria nuts things through.) Need help?

Daria: Hmmm... (They walk on.) This must be an attempt for the Matrix AI’s to impose their will on Lawndale, kind of like when...

Alice: (Keeping her eyes peeled.) ...When “they” ambushed our asses good in the hotel, right? (Her gun makes a funny little electronic whine.)

Daria: Right. (Everyone stiffens when they hear mindless giggling, followed by chants in some doggerel language.)

Alice: (Looking very evil with swarthy skin and an appearance of barbaric ferocity.) Let’s see what this does. (She lets of a blast of energy down a side corridor that didn’t exist 5 minutes before. Bits of rock, debris, etc are thrown back.) Ohh, pretty.

Shine: (Brushing dust off his shiny armour.) You’d think that he AI’s wouldn’t allow us such powerful weapons, really. (He hefts a sword that makes an odd little humming sound when it gets close to solid objects, like walls.)

Divine: (Offhand, clicking long nails on the shaft of her staff.) Well, that’s their main problem, they cannot help but follow rules, it’s in their nature. (They pass a dark-mouthed corridor and she breaks off to cover an entrance to one of them. Jane does the same.) We, on the other hand, are naturally chaotic.

(After that, everyone kind of flicks their eyes over to Jane, for some reason or another. Jane catches this.)

Jane: (Indignant.) Hey!

(A huge shattering roar bellows from around the corner. Jane says nothing further, as her teeth are clenched together in an effort to not squeeze the trigger. A huge scaly form runs around the corner, sees them, and screams in rage.)

(Every weapon at the disposal of the team is directed at the reptillian monster, mysterious energies, tracer and a lobbed rocket blow the ex-sprite back on its heels. After a few seconds of shaking its head, it shakes off the barrage and fires a stream of lightning at the group. They break off and duck for cover, letting the lightning impact further along the corridor, causing yet more structural damage.)

Jane: (Clenched teeth.) You have GOT to be kidding!

Iskander: (To Jane, as they both duck and reload.) What in hell is it!?

(Jane’s pithy reply is lost in the battle-cry of Shine. He runs lightly towards it, brandishing his sword at the monster. It readies itself for impact and prepares to disembowel its attacker with fearsome talons. Shine neatly sidesteps the initial swipe, and goes for an over-the-shoulder smash. There is another huge detonation, and he slides back on his ass, sword following with little “tinky-tink” noises.)

Shine: (Slightly singed and still smoking.) Ye shite! Oww!

(Divine hauls him to his feet while he regains his sword. The smoke clears and all they see is a pathetic pile of ashes and...)

Alice: Gold?

(There is a small pile of the yellow metal nesting in the ashes. The group warily walks over to the pile. Iskander bends down to look at it.)

Shine: (Leaning on his sword, regaining his breath.) Oh, yeah. That’s right. Some of the monsters of Diabolo were immune to things like magic and fire, but...

Daria: ...Not to physical combat, right?

Jane: (Tired grin.) You calling my armour-piercing rounds non-physical?

Daria: Obviously not, but if the projectiles or whatever fell outside the Matrix template for that game, it would probably apply it as the closest handy game action. (Pause.) I think.

Shine: (Blinks rapidly.) Ohh, I got a thought happening.

Divine: (Dry.) Someone, what’s the date?

Shine: (Ignoring his partner’s comment.) If these things drop gold when hit, that means they’d drop other useful items, like er, health potions and alike.

(As Iskander paws through the pile, the contents in his hands shimmer and change into black handgun magazines.)

Trinity: (Still on point.) Ok, gather it up, it might change into something useful. (Mostly to herself.) Like a phone out of here.

(As everyone digs through the pile, Daria drops a few pieces through her hands. They remain stubbornly metallic. Jane comes over, tucking a few spare magazines into her blouse.)

Jane: All that glitters..?

Daria: (Dropping the coins into Iskander’s hands.) Remains useless to me in this state of affairs.

(The group walks off quietly, Jane’s and Daria’s voices carrying as the shot fades out.)

Jane: (O/S) So, what’s up?

Daria: (O/S) No idea Jane, but I do know I’d like to get the hell out of here before the first Alien Queen pops up.

(After a few glances, everyone moves a little faster into the darkness.)

(The familiar green flashing cursor and dark screen...)

<Query: Fictional Elements?>

(Open to the team making their cautious, but quietly jubilant way out of the hidden elevator that Daria discovered. It’s just after dawn, and the light has that translucent quality you sometimes see if it’s been raining hard and it’s only now cleared up. Iskander has a pump-action shotgun over his shoulder, Shine and Divine are holding hands, Trinity is scanning the horizon and Jane is in the middle of an argument with Alice. The group are all walking out of the smoking compound and approach the only gate. Music: “Children of Korn” – Korn. The first minute.)

Jane: I don’t care how big it is, you’re not going to be able to take it home with you!

Alice: (Coming into view, dragging the unattached head of an “Alien” Queen.) But we should take a picture of it, at least!

Jane: (Sulky.) I don’t know why you want to, it’s not even from “your” game. (She absently checks her waist-mounted smartgun.)

Alice: (Shrugging massive shoulders.) I think it’s due in part to my (Makes finger quote motions.) “character”. (Smiles, showing off impressive dentistry.) All I really want to do is go home, get rotten drunk and sing drinking songs. (Takes another good look at her trophy.) But it is pretty impressive, isn’t it. (She walks into a motionless Jane.) Ouff! What’s up...

Daria: (Coming out last, shading her eyes.) Excuse me?

Iskander: (In a small voice.) Shit.

(With the first power-bars of Korn, the sun rises enough so that the forces arrayed against them are thrown into depressing view. Shamblers, tanks, massive armoured vehicles, horned demons – they stain the gently rolling hill approaching the complex in a restless throng of noise and chaotic violence. Many are already fighting each other, but the majority seem simply content to wait for their prey.)

(There is a pregnant pause, then...)

Shine: (O/S) We’re screwed.

(The camera spins down to show the expressions on our hero’s faces; most are disbelieving, but horror and rage make an appearance.)

Divine: Yep. (Dropping their hands, they make ready for a final stand. She raises her staff in readiness while he positions himself to better guard her back.)

Iskander: (Faint hope in his voice.) I suppose they could be friendly?

(With a roar, a gigantic Shambler claps it’s hands together, the resultant bolt of lightning blowing ranks of surrounding ogres high into the air.)

Jane: (Dragging him down.) Let’s go and find out over tea and crumpets, shall we?!?

(As the group duck behind anything that looks solid enough to hold off an attack, Trinity is already looking ahead for escape routes.)

Trinity: (Casting a weather-eye around.) Daria! Jane! You’re familiar with the place, scan for exits! (With that, she braces herself and lets off a few rockets at some armoured vehicles that are in the middle of a crossfire between a large group of horned demons and gun-packing aliens.) Go for the weak targets, the ones on the edges!

(A returned rocket barrage causes the wall behind them to crack widely, in addition to throwing large chunks of masonry around like confetti.)

Jane: (Observing the large hole.) Exit! (She grabs Daria and dives through, Nil right behind.)

Iskander: (Grits his teeth and starts to launch RPG’s at the surging sea of attackers.) Shine! Divine! Go and I’ll cover you!

(Iskander’s heroic act of self-sacrifice is thwarted by the sudden explosion of black tentacles that surge from the crack in the wall, wrapping the pinned-down crew and dragging them into the bolthole.)

(Frustrated, the majority of the monsters turn on each other to vent their displeasure.)

(On the Ship...)

Bunny: Yeah! Whatever the hell it is, yeah! (He looks over to Maxx, sitting propped upright with her left leg in a sort of makeshift cast.)

Maxx: (Nods as she thumbs on a headset.) Impressive, yes. But what the hell it is, I don’t know.

(On the other side of the wall...)

Trinity: (Looking nauseous.) Well...

Iskander: (Same, but more to the point.) I think I’m gonna barf.

(Alice sighs and drags him along the narrow walk-space between two of the concrete “buildings”. Familiar sounds echo nastily back to the waiting group.)

Jane: (Madly re-loading.) We know what the machines have planned for us, so how do we get out of this one?

Trinity: (On focus.) Find a phone, get connected and get the hell out of here with...(Waves a hand at Nil, who waves back and smiles sunnily.)

Divine: So...(She looks around.)

Shine: ...Follow our noses? (He inclines his head.)

Daria: (Thinking.) Sorry, that way leads to the parking area. (She looks along to where Alice is hauling a whey-faced Iskander.) If you go that way, you’ll come out close to the wall that faces Lawndale. (Dry.) I’m sure you could make another exit.

Alice: (Lifts something hi-tech and potent.) Sounds good. (She starts to move Iskander back the way they came.)

Iskander: (O/S, round the corner, weakly.) Mind your step.

Alice: (O/S) Thanks, like I needed to be reminded?

(Trinity motions for the rest to follow, but pauses with Jane and Daria.)

Trinity: (Softly.) What did you mean by “you”?

Daria: (Slight shrug.) I’ve got something to do. (Hands upraised.) It might help, it might not.

Jane: (Macho-girl.) I’m coming! (She readies her gun.)

Daria: (Shaking “no”) Sorry Lane, this one’s for me.

Trinity: (Seeing the determination.) You sure? (Doesn’t need to wait for an answer.) Ok. Jane?

(Jane goes to say something, but stops and hugs Daria.)

Jane: (In the clench.) See you soon?

Daria: (Very dry.) Promise.

(With that, Daria untangles herself from Jane and runs lightly down the way, headed towards the parking area. Jane looks after her for a few seconds, then drags Trinity along after the rest of the crew.)

(Establishing shot of the “Action Deck”, Bunny still trying different things onscreen.)

Bunny: Nothing.

(Next to him, Maxx stiffens and claps her ‘phones to her ears. Bunny notices.)

Bunny: Mm?

Maxx: (Eyes clenched.) Oh, very evil luck, I’ve got an echo on approach.

Bunny: (Dread.) Squids?

Maxx: (Eyes open now.) It’s far too big.

Bunny: (Vague hope.) Another ship?

Maxx: (She doesn’t sound happy.) I’d give my right ovary to say it so.

Bunny: (Puzzled.) Then what?

Maxx: Something new. (Gritted teeth.) And I hate surprises.

(Meanwhile...)

Shine: (Seeing a certain gap in their line-up.) Where’s Daria?

Jane: (Not happy.) Busy.

Iskander: (Very puzzled.) Doing what? (They’re making quick progress along to the exterior wall.)

Jane: (Very not happy.) Stuff.

Iskander: Like?

Jane: (Still not happy.) Stuff.

Alice: (Dragging Iskander away from Jane.) Leave it.

Iskander: (Disappointed.) But..?

Trinity: (Looking behind from point.) Leave it.

(Cut to Daria, edging her way carefully along the edge of a warehouse-like structure. The wide-open space features bodies in contorted positions littering the landscape. More than a few resemble nothing human. As she makes her careful way to the entrance she stands in something that makes a humorous <Squish.> sound. Daria looks down.)

Daria: (Weary.) That is not going to come out in a hurry.

(Alerted by the humorous <Squish>, a squad of things that look like various demons run around from behind the warehouse, all gibbering, leering and drooling ferocity. Daria slides back around the corner as a few demons crash into each other, bicker and snarl.)

Demon 1: (O/S) Who here?

Demon 2: (O/S) Someone here?

Demon3: (O/S) Who that?

(Daria tightens her grip on her gun.)

Demon 2: (O/S, scornfully.) Him dead!

Demon 3: (O/S) Oh.

Demon 1: (O/S, disappointed.) No one, here?

Demon 3: (O/S) No.

Demons 1, 2 & 3: (O/S) Damn.

(There is the sound of the demons making their way back around the corner. Daria slowly lets out her breath, then reaches into a pocket of the coveralls. Bringing out a clip of ammunition, she throws it to where the demons were walking. It rattles quite nicely on the coated concrete walls, bringing instant attention.)

Demons 1, 2 & 3: (O/S) That way!

(Her distraction successful, Daria darts around the corner and into the warehouse. It’s pretty empty, except for a few metal containers and a large truck. Scarcely believing her luck, she makes a quick beeline for the rig...)

Demon 4: (Coming from behind the truck.) Hmmm? Oh...

(Daria’s blaze of gunfire removes the problem of the surprised demon, but brings larger ones...as the sounds of urgent haste carry to her.)

Daria: (Running towards the truck, swinging open the door, hauling out a very dead body and closing the door.) Dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit, dammit...

(Inside, she runs her eyes over the controls and blinks, sorting through all of the information that was input directly into her head. Smashing open the ignition with one of those awful combat knives, she strips a few wires and starts the rig.)

(It turns a few times, catches then chokes.)

(Daria tries again, with the same result. Puzzled, she looks up.)

(Shot: the fuel-gauge. Close up, it reads empty.)

(Still in close-up, Daria’s fist smashes it.)

(Frantically looking around the cabin for something, anything, that she could use, she twitches, stops and slows, becoming oddly calm.)

Daria: (Totally composed.) You want to play? Fine then, let’s play. (She closes her eyes.)

(Cut back to Jane and the rest, looking at the featureless wall in front of them. Sounds of gunfire echo back crazily with the distorted acoustics, but it sounds like something is closing in...)

Iskander: (Unhooking an RPG to a distant bestial roar.) Me first? (General shrugs.)

(He launches the rocket-propelled grenade at the wall and bits rain down. Unfortunately, not enough bits to make an exit. Various others have a go, the more arcane devices leaving strange images and trailing smoke effects mixing with the smell of cordite.)

Trinity: (Rockets exhausted, looking at the wall.) Ok, who’s next..?

(Slow and heavy footsteps pound the ground close to where the groups are trying to get through. Trinity waves for the group to take cover as best they can.)

Jane: (Whispering to Trinity.) D’you think it heard us?

Iskander: (O/S, slightly louder to carry.) Well, we weren’t exactly being discrete, were we..?

(He let’s his words die off as the “satanic teddy-bear” shape of a Quake Shambler walks past the only exit they have. The bloodstained front of the beast glistens redly in the morning light and more crimson drips from its hugely distended claws. It shuffles by then halts, out of sight.)

(Jane releases the safety on her gun.)

(With the familiar roar, the monstrous beast springs down the dead-end path, dodging various explosives, tracer and weirdly-destructive energies from Shine and Divine. Banging it’s “hands” together, a bolt of lightning blows the group from their minimal cover and bounces them off the close walls.)

(Shaking her head, Jane reaches over to reclaim her Pulse-rifle when a foot covered in coarse white hair and matted entrails slams over the weapon, crushing it. She looks up into the monster’s eyeless face and wishes that she had a few grenades left in store.)

(Then she smiles as the sun is abruptly blotted up by something.)

(Alerted, the Shambler looks upwards in obvious surprise.)

(The servo-assisted, endo-steel plated, and massively BIG foot of the 100-ton Atlas BattleMech piloted by Daria makes strawberry jam of the Shambler when it come down. Without slowing, the other foot delicately lifts and then kicks down the wall blocking their escape.)

Daria: (O/S, over a loud-speaker.) Dammit, hurry up, will you? I’m not doing the “Hokey-Pokey”!

(Cut to...)

Bunny: (Jaw hanging open as he stares into the familiar green streams of information.) Well.

Maxx: (The same.) Fuck.

Bunny: (Very heart-felt.) Yeah.

(There is a bleeping on a panel before him, mechanically he replaces his headset and switches on a button.)

Bunny: Operator?

Daria: (O/S and slightly distorted and “crackly”) Hey Bunny. (More to herself.) Figured that this thing would be able to get through to you...

Bunny & Maxx: What the hell IS it??

Daria: (O/S) A ‘Mech. (Deciding to expand a little.) A walking chassis filled with weapons and whatnot. (Realizing that she’ll have to elaborate further.) It’s from a game...

Maxx: (Staring into the screen so hard that she’s cross-eyed.) It’s impossible, that’s what it is!

Daria: (O/S) Uh-huh. Now, could you please download me a schematic of possible escape routes?

(Maxx presses a few buttons.)

Bunny: (Blinking off the shock.) Hey! Is everyone ok?

Daria: (O/S) Bumps, bruises and scratches. But I’ve got the feeling that Iskander is suffering from motion sickness. (Some offscreen clicks and bleeps.) I’ve engaged the long-range directional microphones...

Jane: (O/S, with worse clarity than Daria.) Ullgh! Get him away from me! Shine, help me tie him so that he hangs over the side, at least.

(There is the beginning of some more familiar sounds from Iskander, but a Bunny and Maxx can hear Daria working with something.)

Daria: (O/S) Ok, you get the idea. I’m sending you a satellite picture of my current locale.

(Some urgent bleeping causes Maxx to tear herself away from the main screen and play with another screen.)

Bunny: (Rather helplessly.) But...where are they?

Daria: (O/S) On my foot. (Pauses.) Let me clarify that; on the ‘Mech’s foot.

Maxx: (Dry.) Shades of “Gulliver’s Travels”?

Daria: (O/S and drier.) Gee, Toto, we’re not in Lilliput anymore.

Bunny: (Distracted, looking on-screen again.) So, how fast can you get to town?

Daria: (O/S) This thing can travel around 50 miles an hour...but I’ll have to operate at a slower speed with my passengers.

Bunny: (Gritty.) Well, you’d better put on your running shoes ‘cause we’ve ALL got a problem.

(Maxx turns to what Bunny is looking at and pales.)

Maxx: Ok, the situation the way I’m seeing it – either you get the hell out in (Looks at her portable screen) 18 minutes, or you’re not going to have bodies to come back to.

Daria: (O/S, tightly.) Ok, proceeding to Lawndale proper...hang on...ok people, speak up.

Trinity: (O/S, same quality as Jane.) Hi, can they hear us?

Maxx: What?

Daria: (O/S) I’ve put the output on the loudspeaker.

Trinity: (O/S) What’s the nearest exit-point?

Jane: (O/S, softer.) There’s an idea!

(Various grunts of acknowledgement.)

Maxx: (Looking at her screen.) Ok, the machines have cut off...damn. The closest is the, “Lawndale Strawberry”? (To herself.) That can’t be right...

Jane & Daria: (O/S, tired.) It is.

Daria: (O/S) But that means that I’m going to have to go though town!

(There is a pause.)

Jane: (O/S) YESSSSS!

(Sound of celebration from a certain Lane.)

Daria: (O/S) Oh, god.

(Music: “Karma Police” – Radiohead. There is a line of cars waiting to proceed into the Lawndale shopping complex. Seen in a pan-shot are: Upchuck in a nondescript sedan, drumming fingers impatiently; The nose-chain guy with his long-haired friend head-banging away to music that can be faintly heard, it’s “Cars” – Fear Factory; some other happy Lawndalians and Mr O’Neill in a little rusty VW “Beetle”, scrabbling away for something in his glove-box.)

(Close up on O’Neill. He finds a bottle labelled “Valium” and he tries to unscrew the container with one hand. The childproof lid defeats him and he starts to smash it on the centre console. He pauses, mid-smash.)

O’Neill: Oh dear! What am I doing?! Deep breaths, Timothy, deep breaths...(Runs through some calming exercises) That’s better. (He unscrews the bottle using both hands and gently taps a single pill into his hand.)

(There is a dull <Thooom!> and the contents of the jar spray everywhere.)

O’Neill: Arrrgh!

(About to go into a DeMartino-esque rage, he stops when he sees people running away down the street. Puzzled, he looks ahead.)

(Upwards pan shot of the street, the huge Atlas BattleMech striding down the street, it’s 100 ton weight crushing cars, nudging aside buildings and causing the impact tremors that made the pills spill everywhere. O’Neill’s eyes widen in shock.)

(As the huge metal feet crunch closer, his eyes widen in terror.)

(Feverishly, he works at the door handle of the VW, then pauses to unlock the door. With a final wrench, he tugs at the handle again, to have it come off in his hand. The next footstep about to crunch him, he curls up in a little ball.)

(The foot comes down on the front of the VW, missing the passenger compartment entirely. As the mammoth war-machine strides on, O’Neill looks up to see the front of his car missing or flatter than a sheet of paper.)

(He faints.)

(Close up on another car radio, with the occupants clearly fled.)

Bing: (O/S) And that was “Shock to the System” by Billy Idol, another great song in our weekly marathon of 80’s artists in 90’s genre! What did you think, Spatula Man?

Spatula Man: (O/S) I can’t get enough of that trash thrash rock! Now, something earlier!

(Music: “Detonation Boulevard” – The Sisters of Mercy.)

Bing: (O/S) You’re the Man, Spatula!

(Cut to Daria, sweating greatly in the hot cockpit of the ‘Mech. The Sisters can be heard over an internal com network as she pilots the unwieldy machine through the heart of the town without too much damage to life or property.)

(Cut to Jane, hanging on to the foot of the ‘Mech and having the time of her life. She’s whooping and pumping her fist in the air.)

(Cut to the rest of the Crew, looking very worried.)

(Cut to Iskander, looking very sick.)

(Cut to Jane again.)

Jane: (In her “wonderful” singing voice.) Through the angel rain, Through the dust and gasoline...

Trinity: (Shouting over the noise, both of the destruction and Jane.) We’re lucky this is a low-profile operation!

Jane: (Screaming it out) Through the cruelty of strangers, To the neon dream...(Waves her gun about.)

(Cut to Iskander, leaning over the side.)

Jane: (Louder, to carry over Iskander.) Long distance information, just tell me where the manholes steam...!

(Cut to the rest of the crew, edging away from Iskander.)

(Cut to the foot that Jane is on, crushing a fire hydrant.)

Jane: (O/S, as the shot remains on the foot) A little girl waits on my station...

Divine: (Sweetly.) ...With a new machine...(To the surprised looks.) Hey, I liked “Vision Thing”!

(Cut to Trinity’s look of pain. The shot remains there while...)

Jane & Divine: (O/S) On Detonation...Boulevard. Bang! Bang!

(Cut to the familiar flashing cursor...)

<Topic: Disruption to the logic structure at Node: 3860410059302-{"Lawndale"}. All portals open.>

(Cut to...)

(Bunny looking shocked.)

(Maxx looking sick.)

Bunny: Guys?

(Cut to...)

(Daria looking worried at a few screens, then up at the roof of the cabin.)

Daria: Damn.

(Exterior shot of the Atlas slowing to a stop in the Lawndale main street. A strange flicker dances over its outline while superheated haze rises off the heat-sinks. The passengers on the feet look around in alarm.)

Daria: (O/S, over the loudspeakers.) Everyone off, right now!

(The crew dive over the side of the halted ‘Mech, Alice and Trinity dragging a boneless Iskander behind them.)

(The 100-ton war-machine flickers, then disappears, leaving a much-damaged truck around 120 feet in the air.)

Daria: (O/S from the cabin...her voice reedy as gravity reasserts it’s claim.) Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap..!

(The truck impacts, catrastrophically. Wheels fly off, the unlaiden trailer flops around and all of the cabin’s windows implode. No flames, that’s just a Hollywood cliché but metal, shrapnel and a spray of glass make things messy enough.)

Jane: (Staggering from behind a car.) Daaaaarrriiaaaaaa! (She runs towards the truck, hurdling chunks of “big rig”)

Daria: (Allowing the cabin door to fall off.) Present.

(Jane catches Daria as she falls limply from the wreck. Various other faces appear from the dust and run over.)

Iskander: (Still wiping mouth.) Hey!?

Daria: (Weakly, to Jane.) For the love of god, don’t let him give me CPR. (Winces and holds side.) Damn.

Jane: Wounded?

Daria: (Going in and out of it.) Bounced off the steering-wheel. (Closes her eyes.)

Trinity: (In the midst of a professional “Going over”.) Hmmm, possible fractured ribs...displaced vertebrae...

Daria: (Opens eyes.) An army of killer AI’s?

(Pause.)

Alice: (Bright and chirpy.) Right then, shall we move along? (Tilts her head to the side, indicating the trail of destruction behind them.)

Daria: (Hand raised.) Hold on.

Trinity: What?

Daria: The AI’s are...

(A now-familiar flicker dances over the group.)

All, apart from Daria: Crap! Great! Oh NO! etc...

(They all fall to the ground, apart from Nil.)

(Back on board...)

Bunny: (Cooly professional.) Ok, the AI’s have replaced the Lawndale template.

Maxx: (Hunched over something she’s disembowled with the various articles of electronic surgery lying about her.) Again.

(Bunny doesn’t even bother with a response, simply trying to re-contact the group.)

Jane: (O/S, and sounding very tired.) Well, how is everyone?

(Sequential facial shot of the group, lying in the middle of the road like blissed-out hippies.)

Daria: (Reaching up and patting her head.) Got hair. (Looks down.) And I’m in that costume that I’m going to kill you for.

Trinity: (Rolling to her side, trying to get upright.) Phones? (Pats her side, sighs and tries to get up.)

Shine: (Vainly trying to brush his cravat into shape.) I’m out. (Eyes a nice-looking piece of hardware on the ground. Takes it.) I’m armed.

(Some similar grunts indicating that, they too, have an offensive capability.)

Jane: (Helping Daria to her feet.) We’ve got to get to the Strawberry, Alice.

Alice: Hey?

Jane: It was an “Alice in Wonderland” thing. (Alice nods and gets up, but stops in her tracks.)

Alice: (Sounding VERY worried.) Guys...guys!

(Everyone looks at her, and instead of the 6’2 blond she was, she is now like how she looks on board, blue eyes included.)

Iskander: That’s weird.

Alice: You’re telling me? Crap, how did this happen?

(There is a gloop-gloop sound behind them. They turn to see a pile of black almost-liquid reforming into Nil. Finished, he/it smiles at them.)

Iskander: Right. (Pause.) Was that weird to anyone else?

Nil: The reassertion of the (Does a massive twitch.) original template necessitated an (Rubbery fluid motion of his neck.) alteration of my current form. (Blinks a few times.)

Trinity: Something wrong?

Nil: I simply need time to acclimatise. (Looks over at Alice.) Ah!

Alice: (Looking worried.) What’s “ahh?”

Nil:

Endnote Time! -Oh, and to all those out there who claim I just include whatever song title would sound like part of the plot, I don't. I listen to music and actively search for something that fits the scene. Poit!

[1] Duh? The "Blair Witch" Album? I played Antonio Cora's "The Cellar" until I couldn't sleep, then "Beware" by the Afghan Whigs. The movie might send me to sleep, but the extracts on the CD bring back the last few minutes of terror that made it worth watching. Heather, R.I.P. Josh, you were an idiot, but an idiot with good taste in music. "Movement of Fear" - Tones On Tail...

[2] What else would she have? "Cutest puppies of 2000?" Well, ok, if they were on fire, I can accept that.

[3] The singing reference is to "Daria" [The most underrated of all episodes.] while the Cyclops mention is from "Just Add Water", when Daria and Jane are trying to sleep. Personally, I loved Jane singing in "Daria", and though it was a waste to have Kevin & Brittany screeching all the time. I though that Jodie and Mack could have done with more "airtime" too. Oh well, 4^th season may rectify this...(It didn’t, dammit.)

[4] It's still amusing to do though. My brother has fell for it twice, so far...

[5] Yes, that same reference to "Monster". Jane: "Check her head for bumps." It's the delivery that makes it a killer line.

[6] Good books are doubly precious when in close proximity to the world's greatest concentration of Mills & Boon "novels". For those who don't know, they're worse than that crap with "Fabio" on the cover. I could feel my will to live being drawn from me every time I walked by them...

[7] The most cringeworthy scene in "The Matrix", apart from when Neo removes that drip from his arm. Ulgh. Other people's blood doesn't worry me in the slightest, but I like to keep my red stuff on the inside.

[8] Not a bad concept, eh? It explains Daria, Kevin and Jake. You may applaud, or throw money.

[9] Working from memory here, I haven't seen "The Matrix" for a couple of months, and am probably butchering the lines.

[10] The rather bowdlerised term. They're the grab handles if the boat you're on lurches unexpectedly when you're, say, climbing up the companionway with a tray full of nibbles when you find that a sandbar has moved...

[11] By now, especially if I've sent back E-mail, you should have guessed a fan of a little band you may have heard of, "Garbage." This is a rather vague reference to one of their songs "Hammer in my head". Funky end chorus and great to play during the "recovery" period of the "morning after"...

[12] Yes, I'd LOVE to see someone's impression of Jane and Daria, post-matrix...

[13] Yes, all you rabid die-hard SF fans out there will recognise the reference to Barry B. Longyear's "Enemy Mine." Both books, the movie tie-in and the original, are good to read, which is kind of rare. Don't even mention "Starship Troopers", that's just cruel.

[14] A popular superstition for those who have ploughed the ocean wave. (Yes, that's me. Did anyone else catch the Sydney to Hobart this year? Go Nokia! 17 hours is a long time to shave off any sailing record, except maybe the BOC International.) I think my reference goes back to a situation during the early 50's when a boat that was in distress was calling out a new name, and the coastguard was looking for it under the old name. It kind of divided efforts and the craft was lost. Yet another piece of totally useless drivel which fills most of my mind, to be trotted out at inopportune times...

[15] Anyone who has ever put on a pair of new Doc Martins can tell you this. It's a rush... It's sexy... You have the urge to be antisocial...

[16] That's all me in the morning. It's not pretty.

[17] David Gemmel quote, used about 4 times in different books by different characters.

[18] Don't ask. Try it if you want, I can't stop you.

[19] Hey, like I know the character names and moves to the stupid game? I always played “Mortal Kombat”... Sub-Zero, wins! Fatality!

[20] Not really, leather is always in... Ooh yeah, fun Halloween costume. (1999)

[21] The view is much better from the Harbour.

[22] No, they haven't. It's just a made-up plot detail.

[23] This is true. They've gotten much better since the introduction of things like pepper-spray, but they still have a horrible reputation for shooting suspects. Sending in the NSW or even the Victorian (Victoria is another state.) Armed Response Unit is a quick way to spark a gun battle of Waco-esque proportions.

[24] THIS IS TRUE. I know we may sound weird, but never, NEVER try to fake an Australian accent. It's just a terrible thing to do. And don't think I can't hear your comments of it being linked to forms of alcohol-related brain damage. Just because a certain state's drink of pride is called XXXX doesn't mean we can't spell "Beer". It's just after all the vodka shots, we don't really care anymore...

[25] Due notice must be paid to Mrs. Cake, yes, I know. (This is for Canadibritt and Moriarty and all those other weird ones out there who can understand the Terry Pratchett in-jokes.)

[26] This is true.

[27] Regurgitator is a mighty Oz band. Once again, a provincial in-joke. Go the 'Gurge!

[28] Referring to the methods she used to get what she wanted.

[29] Alexander Calder. (1898-1976) 20th Century sculptor who developed the concepts of "Mobiles" and "Stabiles", and introduced them into mainstream art. Having seen a few of his works (Didn't expect that in far distant Oz, didja?) I'd have to say that whatever's in the Lane front yard is a damn good representation of the real thing. Comments anyone?

[30] Don't you remember? "The Misery Chick." Jake: That's... sharp focus!

[31] 80's Rock gods, as anyone from "this wide brown land of ours" can tell you. If you see Australian sports fans anywhere in the world, play "Holy Grail" and watch them cry into their beer. Then they'll sing it until 4 a.m. and embark on a drunken rampage. "We were full of beans, but we were dying like flies, and those big black birds...they were circling in the sky, and you know what they say, yeah, nobody deserves to diiiiiiie..." [Cue "the finger" to any authority figure in sight, with accompanying verbal curses.] I've seen photos. I've seen scars... Just listen to their live versions, the fans know it better than the band. The only way to calm them down is to play "True Tears of Joy"; then it's all weeping hysteria. I'm not making this up, this is all true.

[32] Not a spelling mistake, the band "Not From There" sings in German. Great band name. You can see it, can't you? "Hey, we're Not From There...and this is Sich Offnen."

[33] Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid? Anyone? God, why do I bother...<mutter, grumble...>

[34] Again, a true computer tale. I may have got the number of steps wrong, but the computer eventually cut out a virus about the quarter the size of the human one, mainly by "borrowing" routines from other programs. This was the first time an "experiment" like this was run, and it showed a lot of people that, given the right initial instructions and "conditions of growth", the computer viruses showed a lot of similarities with their organic counterparts. (Many "organic" viruses "borrow" gene sequences from host cell DNA.) This made a lot of people sit up and take notice.

[35] Forget the "Blues Bothers Parallel-Park", remember when they destroyed a mall when escaping a police pursuit? And the in-car dialogue? "This is a good mall." "Yeah, nice and wide." "Hmm, that's new." "It must have opened last week." Brilliant.

[36] Robert dated Daria at Quinn's insistence during "The New Kid."

[37] Arguably the best cameras in the world. Hideously expensive. A modified one was the still camera used during the moon landings, and remains on the moon today due to the killer luggage-weight restrictions that NASA has. [Ha-ha, I slay me.] The chance of a Cranberry Commons camera store having one would be roughly equal to a stamp-collector finding a "Lady McGill 2 cent red/brown" attached to a letter sent to them by their mother. FYI: in 1987, a "Lady McGill" was auctioned for $1.1 million, US. [Man, the crap that I remember...]

[38] Yes, I loved the idea of a bunch of filmmakers going into the woods and getting "disappeared."

[39] Wonderful expression for human flesh. Popularised by those god-awful reports that officers of the British Empire would send back to mother England, all about brightly-coloured savages and the strange rituals they engaged in. In reality, said officers would be trying to avoid dying of malaria and tend to stay out of the sun as much as possible, all the while watching the native population drink themselves into extinction, helped along with such party-favours as smallpox, cholera and diphtheria. [Wow, that was surprisingly articulate.] Speaking from a position of knowledge on food; at the chemical level, we're very similar to pork, so it's likely that we'd taste similar. [No, I haven't eaten people, all the McDonalds jokes aside...] Our textures are different though; we would be a more finely-grained meat, like ham is to steak. "Making bacon" takes on a whole new meaning... Face it kids, I'm overtrained.

[40] All building codes that I know of state the need for multiple exits in case of fire.

[41] Berm: a raised earth embankment, usually for the purpose of containment. Like the things that are thrown up for rally-cars and motorcross to smash into at great speed...

[42] Yes, all you military freaks out there, I know I've probably got about fifteen things wrong with the "Stinger" scene, but I'm writing the story, not reading out weapons specifications. Or leafing through "Guns & Ammo" with only one hand holding the page...

[43] Helicopters are designed to, if they lose the tail-rotor. Not many make it though.

[44] Dealing drugs, boasting about their sexual prowess, cutting down people who they don't know... Who else misses school? I'd love to do a "Never Been Kissed" and simply blow their parochial little minds away. It's really hard to think of ourselves being that young and stupid, but I'm quite thankful that I had the opportunity to be even more immature at University. We are the future, you have been warned!

[45] Helen did this in her SUV in "That Thing You Say" - by Kara Wild. This is the story which really started me thinking that Daria could be damn scary if she became a bit more antisocial. Unfortunately, it has the usual Kara happy soppy ending, but it's still a good tale.